Do you ever feel like you cant do this anymore?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by gkrrt, Nov 8, 2006.

  1. gkrrt

    gkrrt New Member

    I am having a bad flare right now due to stress and weather and I'm at the depressed want to quit work and crawl in a hole stage. I know I cant quit because we cant pay the bills we have now. I'm out ot sick time and vacation time so I have to come to work. I'm tired I'm 42 and dont feel like I am the mother or wife I should be due to Fibro, it controls your life. All I do is go to work come home and go to bed. Cant do all the things I used to do like get involed at church if I do I pay the price the next week. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, my husband is wonderful and my kids a great to me but I'm tired of fighting this fight just to work. Life is to short to live like this at least that is where I am today.
  2. Kryssie

    Kryssie New Member

    I can relate to you, very well. My dr just put me on Cymbalta for depression as I got to the *cry all the time* point and am just generally dead inside.
    You might want to talk to your doc about something for depression because if mama aint happy, nobody is happy!
    Take one day at a time, it seems to help. Try not to look too far into the future and it will reduce your stress level. I know that is hard to do, I am a single parent of 3 kiddos, everything I mean EVERYTHING is on ME. GOODLUCK!
  3. butterfly83

    butterfly83 New Member

    Yes I can understand feeling that way. When I'm having a really bad pain day (or week, or month), sometimes I feel like I will have to die soon because it would be impossible to have this much pain and not be terminally ill. It's so hard to deal with those times when you can't do even the simplest things that you want to do.

    My only advice is that things CAN get better. You can find ways to manage your symptoms. Maybe not get better, but at least tread water. And its incredibly important at these times to lean on family or friends who are sympathetic and able to help you through the day. I've found that some of the stories that people post here (like the Spoon Theory, or Letter to Families) is really helpful to have people understand what we go through. As much as we don't want to burden people with our pain, we HAVE to have people helping us through these times. It really is impossible to do this alone.

    Talk to your family, talk to your doctor about the state of your health. Focus on little things that bring you hapiness. I try to find some special things (movies, music, etc) that I can save for really bad days, to make me smile. Studies have shown that your mental state can powerfully effect how your body heals itself, because high stress releases chemicals that can negatively effect you.

    Maybe also you could talk to your husband about whether you could find a job that would be less stressful to your health. Working over your physical abilities and really aggrevate this illness. If you're this sick, you won't be any good to yourself OR your family, so what real good is this work? Maybe you could find a job that you could do independently from home, or something that would be less stressful for you.

    I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time. You can lean on the people here too. This board is a great place to find out about new therapies and ideas for improving the quality of our lives.
  4. abcanada

    abcanada New Member

    I find myself in a similar position. I don't work out of the home, but do have 4 kids under 7! I too have been going through a bad flare for a good year and a half. It is soo difficult in soo many ways, but I can tell you my kids have truely given me reason to face every day. If they were not in my life, I feel I would have crawled into that hole long ago. I honestly don't know how people do this while raising a family & working. Anyone in such a position has my sympathizes! Laura
  5. gkrrt

    gkrrt New Member

    I take cymbalta, trazene, serguil for sleep and ultram and advil and lycira for pain. When I get like this none of it seems to be helping. My doctor is a Lady and she is very understanding and has brought me a long way. She is a GP I went to Rhemi and he was a butt so I did not go back. I know this will pass PRAISE GOD but its the waiting for it to pass that is hard.
  6. butterfly83

    butterfly83 New Member

    Gkrrt - You might want to look into getting to see a Pain Management doctor. It sounds like your pain is your biggest problem, leading to all the others. A Pain Managment doctor might be more well versed in treating actual pain, and might be able to find you a combination treatment that would make you more comfortable.
  7. tinktink

    tinktink New Member

    I am feeling exactly like you are today. It feels like everyday is just a struggle to get through and I worry about when and if I wont be able to work anymore. It will change our lives drastically, and that scares me to death.

    I wish I could say to both of us... just hang in there... if we can just get through today then we will be okay... but that is not how this works. So instead I will say just take it a day at a time and do the best with what you have today... even though it is hard. Use us to vent with and get validation that what you are going through is a very difficult thing.

    FYI the Lyrica did not help me with my pain. You might have your doctor try other things until you find something effective for you.

    I know what you mean about feeling inadequate for your family and friends. This is what I have on my fridge:

    Take time to create a new self image for yourself, to know that your new physcial limitations do not limit you as a person, as a soul, no matter what other people are thinking.

    Best Wishes ... you are not alone... Diana
  8. saintpaulia23

    saintpaulia23 New Member

    I'm doing not too bad this week, but when I had to file for disability at my university and ultimately face the reality of the the situation and my health(which I've denied for decades), I pretty much so crumbled and just wanted to give up. I still am working through it, but it's something that is going to be part of the ups and downs. During times like these, it's important to give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling. Denying your feelings will only make things worse and prolong the coping. Take time for yourself if and when you can, communicate to others that you need some peace so lay off or help out, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. It's okay to feel out of control and like you cannot do anything, but once you're through those feelings you will be able to tap into the rational part of you that will help empower you again.
  9. gkrrt

    gkrrt New Member

    needed, and not all at the same time. If my pain is bad I will take Lycria or Ultram if not advil. Never tried the other med you taked about.
  10. gkrrt

    gkrrt New Member

    Thank you all for the replies and I do feel you all understand and have been here before and maybe are at this same point now. I love reading all your post and knowing someone truly understands.
  11. kat2002

    kat2002 New Member

    Please don't give up - unfortunately some days are like this. These song lyrics often run through my mind:

    Won't you look down upon me Jesus
    You gotta help me make a stand
    You just got to see me through another day
    My body's aching and my time is at hand
    I won't make it any other way

    You have to take one day at a time or it will overwhelm you. I (and I am sure many others) will keep you in my prayers today.

    Perhaps you should talk to your doctor about the Cymbalta. You may need a stronger dosage or a different antidepressant. Also a different pain medicine may work better for you, or if the Ultram helps but wears off too soon, you could consider trying the extended release formula (Ultram ER). I know I have found it helpful since it stays in my body 24 hours a day.

    God bless and keep you,
    Kat
  12. gkrrt

    gkrrt New Member

    are what I need today thank you so much. I will pray for all of you as well, we are all at different stages in life but share to common bonds GOD and our chronic illness regardless what it may be. I know he will make a way but I wish he would make it in my timing. I guess you all can see patience is not one of my strong points.
  13. HalcyonsF8

    HalcyonsF8 New Member

    I am simply at the end of my rope.
  14. pw7575

    pw7575 New Member

    I have been having a ROUGH time for a couple of months now with being depressed and feeling like I can't do this anymore. I seem to be doing a bit better lately so that is good. Just know that things can turn around.

    I know it is easier said than done but try not to let the negative feelings take over. Try and focus on what you do have control of and what you can do.

    Is there any way that you can work from home? That is what I am doing now. My boss has been amazing and I hope her bosses continue to let me work from home otherwise not sure what I would do about money.

    I would say look into working from home with either your current job or maybe a new job. Or maybe you should look into applying for disability.

    If you can do either of those I think it would help you a lot. Going to work and coming home and going to bed and being sick all the while sounds like it is giving you NO quality of life. At least working from home or being on disability will let you spend your better moments doing something you enjoy.

    If you didn't have to go to work you could probably be a bit involved with your church or other activities and be able to handle it ok since you wouldn't be trying to work AND do these things. You would enjoy your life more even with this DD.

    Take Care and I hope things turn around for you!
    Pam