... run away? i'd say "end it all" but that's way more final than i want to be... i'm the curious sort that always wants to see "what's next" but after spending some time reading thru this site, i don't see where anything's ever going to get better.... i know my pain level ~ and i consider it to be quite bad... till i read what others are going thru ~ is this it?? is this the best i'm ever going to be? there's a spa/retreat in upstate new york.. the mind/health resort(?)... has anyone gone to one of these?? does it help to "disappear" for awhile?? don't suggest meds. i'm tired of meds. even the thought of additional meds gets to me.