Do you feel embarrassed?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Lolalee, Jan 24, 2006.

  1. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    I've had this illness almost 10 years and I still can't get used to the fact that I am not the energetic, take-charge, enthusiastic woman I used to be. This illness embarrasses me. For instance, this morning I feel awful...pain, malaise, name it. I forced myself out of bed and now all I want to do is get back in bed because I'm so ill. I was raised by a mother who never let her daughters rest. On Saturday mornings she would get us up early to clean the house and do the ironing.

    So I was always busy, busy, busy. Now that I am ill, I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I can't do much at all. My husband is retired and it is embarrassing that he sees me this way most of the time. He never complains and has always been supportive of me, even though I know he is disappointed at times that we don't get to do much (he never says anything, I just know).

    Thanks for listening. Does anyone else feel this way?
  2. Bailey-smom

    Bailey-smom New Member

    You did not choose to be ill and if given that choice I'm quite sure you would rather be active.

    Just do as much as you are able and try to give your hubby plenty of attention and don't feel bad. You are doing what you are able.

    It is difficult to say I can't do things but I do what I am able. I make myself relax more and I don't feel embarassed at all.

    Hope you feel better!
  3. bphayes

    bphayes New Member

    whatever you are not "pretty worthless". i know this for a fact. The One who made you wouldn't think so either.

    As far as embarrassed goes....YES!!! but you know what else I know..Nobody but you and your immediate family knows what goes on behind your doors. thats how i try to look at it and most days i do a great job of it but i do have my bad days. monday was one of them. migraine, body aching, MY daddy getting the girls supper and ready for bed. i just have to realize that i am not super woman any longer. it sucks. but what do you do???? The best you can and be proud of it.
  4. pepper

    pepper New Member

    I am embarrassed by all the things mentioned in these posts - my poor feeble brain, no longer being SuperMom and SuperWife and SuperTeacher, my messy house and most of all my weight.

    I try to remember that we are "human beings, not human doings" to quote Deepak Chopra. We do have value despite what we have to deal with. It is often hard to remember. Heck, it's hard ot remember anything! LOL

  5. ExMechanic

    ExMechanic New Member

    I recently was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. For years I thought it was arthritis coming on. I know how you feel when you say it's embarassing. My familly tells me it's all in my It has ruined my life, and career. I'm a twenty seven year old male master mechanic who can no longer work. I have lost all my energy and ambition too. Many of my friends too believe this is all in my head, and ridicule me. The pain is real no matter what anyone says. People need to treat a person with this with respect, not like there a pain, or inconvienence. I am very embarassed bout this condition cause of the lack of acceptance out there. I come from a hard working midwest country familly. Construction, and manual labor are our way of life, but no longer for me. I felt alone till I read your board posting. But now feel alittle better thanks. Your not alone, I feel embarassed too.
  6. minimonkey

    minimonkey New Member

    Dianna -- I loved your statement about judgment --- you are so right, we are all doing the best we can (well, most of us -- there are some people on this planet who have plenty to be ashamed of...) But, suffering of all kinds is nothing to feel shame about.

    I've often wondered if the "spiritual reason" I have this disease is to teach me compassion and understanding -- if so, it certainly is working! I like to believe that God gives us challenges in order to help us grow -- that is a big hallmark of my faith.

    Yes, I still feel embarrassed sometimes -- and yes, I'm working on that. Truth be told, I think my husband is more embarrassed than I am -- I'm not the thin, energetic super-wife that he thought he was getting :(

    Maybe the "spiritual reason" he married me was to teach him some lessons, too! I hope he is up to the challenge....

  7. Bailey-smom

    Bailey-smom New Member

    to you guys:) I truly do. Maybe I should be but after I lost 3 generations in my family last year my attitude on just about everything has changed.

    My lif has dramatically changed in the past few years as well but I just ask myself - in the overall scheme of things does it really matter if I am doing my best or does it matter what everyone thinks?

    I do live my life from day to day and I choose what I am going to spend my energy on. If I were to go tomorrow would it be better if I dusted my house or spent today with my girls? If I am tired and sore I could really care less if my house is not up to anyone elses standard - I will get to it when I feel better. (It's not a complete mess, my hubby & girls help too).

    I really think that some of your family members should be the one's that are embarrased for not being more kind to you and for not helping you complete the tasks you feel need to be done!

    i wish I could make you feel better about yourselves - If I had a magic wand I would take care of everything.

    Keep your chins up!
  8. lauralea443

    lauralea443 New Member

    but most i'm not anymore. I have accepted that some days I just need to rest, and if it last for a week or a month that's just what has to be done.

    You hubby sounds understanding so don't make more of it than you have too. The stress of feeling embarresed will only add to your pain. Tell yourself "okay today I know I need to rest, maybe tomorrow will be a better day"

    You can not will yourself better, but you can cause more pain by worring about what everyone else thinks.

    Give yourself a break, it's the only way you will have good days. Allow yourself to rest and not feel quilty.


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