Do you have kiddos?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by wildzootv, Aug 30, 2003.

  1. wildzootv

    wildzootv New Member

    Do you have kids?

    If you don't, do you want to have any?

    Did you have them before you started getting sick? If so did it get worse?

  2. ranger

    ranger New Member

    We have 2 boys, 12 and 9. We are done having any more. I strongly believe that after the birth of the 9 year old, was when I started having symptoms of FMS. It was vague then, and I explained it away in other excuses. It wasn't constant and too bothersome until he was 3. I was diagnosed when he was 4. Yes it has gotten worse. Much worse, especially in the last year or two. I don't know why. What about you wildzootv?
    (just a Mom)
  3. wildzootv

    wildzootv New Member

    I forgot to answer my own question!! Thanks Ranger.

    I do have one child, a son.

    I've had lupus since I was around the age of 5 but developed fibro after having my child. I don't think the childbirth had anything to do with getting it though in my case.....although I have been under more stress since I am acting as both Mom and Dad 24-7 with out any help since my husband is deployed....that coupled with the stress from War did it.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/30/2003]
  4. Juloo

    Juloo Member

    I was 7 months pregnant w/my son when I was put on bedrest w/pregnancy-induced hypertension (usually my BP is fairly low). The same week, my mother was diagnosed w/cancer -- 4 states away. That was the beginning of the stress. Two years later, my mother died, I had been taking care of her, my son, and everything else, including selling her house, moving her, etc., etc. As you can imagine, I hit rock bottom (sitting in a chair was a good day) soon after.

    I feel very badly that my son has gotten the short end of the stick when it comes to my energy (hooray for preschool, which he l-o-v-e-d!) Almost three years ago, I was finally 'coming out of it' some, son had tonsils out, then complications for which he was hospitalized. Of the 10-day ordeal, I slept maybe 3 nights. The morning after we got him home from the hospital, I found out I was pregnant. I cried, I was just soooooo tired. Six weeks later, I miscarried. Believe it or not, it is possible to have post-partum depression after only a 9-week pregnancy.

    It was really bad. Yet again, my son got the non-energy mom. We were all really sad about the miscarriage. I've hit 40, so I don't have any illusions about having much chance of pregnancy, but I do always wonder what if. The part that holds me back is the serious sleep deprivation I had w/our son, and the difficulties I had recovering from that (on top of everything else going on at the time).

    I just don't think my body could handle another pregnancy. And after all I've got through in the last three years, I'm terrified of having to go through it again. The miscarriage led to major depression, huge hormonal shifts (PPMD!), sleep problems, etc. On the other hand, it pushed me hard enough so that I fought to find answers outside of what I was being told, and that has been a positive thing.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/30/2003]
  5. wildzootv

    wildzootv New Member

    you miscarried. We have never experience but our best friends have 4x and it was so painful for us, I just can't imagine the pain they and you must feel. My heart goes out to you.

    *I know DH would love another child, and deep in my heart I would too but I am frighten to have another now with 2 illnesses and what that means for me as a mom (energy wise). With terriorism being the way it is too..... I just know DH will be deployed again later on so I would have two children to raise for 6-12 months by myself. Doing one is rough for me. I love our son, but I'm whooped.
  6. Ibby

    Ibby New Member

    DH and I have 8 children, ranging in ages from 14 to 17 months! I was diagnosed while pregnant with number 8. I wasn't one of the lucky ones to feel better during pregnancy. I had a miscarriage this spring when I was 9 weeks along. I also had a horrible time with post-partum symptoms, which did lead me to get a diagnosis for my hypothyroidism and challenged adrenals. I changed my diet to low carb, started thyroid med (Armour) and topical natural progesterone, lost the weight I needed and felt fabulous for about a month. Then I got pregnant again and started feeling lousy again. Number 9 is due in early February.

    I can understand the feelings of frustration at not having the energy we would like to devote to our children. While mine understand for the most part, it is still very hard to be remembering the woman who had so much energy (I used to teach 20 aerobics classes a week) to comparing her to this mom who can't muster enough energy for a trip to the park.

    I do believe after this pregnancy when I can resume my AP (antibiotic protocol), along with improving my diet again and addressing my hypercoagulation issues...there is a healthier me out there (or in here) and I intend on finding her.

    Best wishes to you all!

  7. sumbuni

    sumbuni New Member

    My second child died after fighting sarcoma of the prostate gland...most deadly cancer, and areally rare thing for a 20 month old boy to have...

    I have 5 grandchildren...and yes, I still miss the energy I need to do the things with them that I didn't have enough energy to do with my children.


    PS...heart ache and stress seem to go hand in hand...and you ladies seem to have had your share of both...God bless you, and give you the strength you need and so very much want!
  8. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Two live births and one miscarriage. We have three and possibly four generations with FMS. I also have CFIDS and we have lots of other autoimmune/immune disorders in our family. I was lucky in that I didn't get really sick until my children were grown. I can, however, look clear back into childhood and see indications of things to come.

    My older daughter and her husband cannot seem to have children. My younger daughter has agonized over this decision because so often, women are worse after giving birth and because this may be the fifth generation with FMS.

    Love, Mikie
  9. tandy

    tandy New Member

    I got ill right after giving birth to the 2nd one.
    I went on and had one more son after my DX of FM. For me its been very hard!! My FM has gotten so much worse over the years that like many others,I feel so quilty of not being able to do alot of activities with the kids. I knew after the last one that I just could'nt do the 'newborns'anymore~ There were times when I could'nt even lift the baby out of his swing! my low back would lock up. I love being a mom.....just wish I were able to do more. Take care :)
  10. NanceZ

    NanceZ New Member

    Ihaver CFS and I think some signs of FM too. I am a single parent after 22 yrs of marriage and have 4 kids. One is out of the house at 26, the others are 21, 19 and 14. I'm glad they aren't little but gosh it still is hard
  11. dontlikeliver

    dontlikeliver New Member

    for some reason I keep getting an error message and then only parts of my replies appear, last try here:

    After one pregnancy and birth in 1995 during which I felt good, two miscarriages in 1999, after which I felt worse and infertility since then (4 years)- I am currently agonizing whether (as I'm 35) to REALLY try to get pregnant (i.e. trying clomid). I know I have to make a conscious decision and that is hard, dependign on how I feel on the day.

    On my good days there is no question this is what I want to do, on my bad days I feel I must be crazy as I can't get out of bed or do anything for more than 5 minutes before I have to sit/lie down again. Should I sacrifice my desire to have another child for the possibility of it making me worse??? Is that reasonable? What if I managed to get pregnant, stay pregnant, have a baby and DIDN'T get worse....What are the statistics?

    Is it reasonable to have a child if you know that you may possibly get very ill as a consequence???

    I justify/rationalize these things with
  12. Notonline

    Notonline New Member

    My son who was born 3 months was not a good pregnancy...he is now 4ys old. He brightens up my days, and never ceases to amaze me with the new things he comes up with.

    I wouldn't trade him for the world...but he is destined to be an only child. I will not have any more. I was sick before, but not as bad as I am now after having him. Came home from the hospital feeling as if I had been run over by two tractor trailers...and the feeling just never left. I feel guilty when I feel so bad that I can't run and play with him...or sometimes when I just ache so bad the only thing I look forward to in the day is to finally crawling in bed at night. I have my good days thankfully, but I still feel as though he is missing out by me not having the energy I should have.

  13. baybe

    baybe New Member

    What you do with your disease and children and continuing desire to bring children into this world with husbands who are willing to fight for this country makes me want to go out into the streets and shout and celebrate you and tell the world to wake up to the goodness we have here.

    I had uteran cancer at age 29 and lost my uterus a week before my 30th birthday. My choice to have children was taken. I was one of nine and always wanted children, but I count myself lucky that at least the choice was clear, after seeing so many friends struggle to decide whether to try and when to give up is heart wrenching. My own sister had Lupus and had her tubes tied because she knew her disease back then was terminal and she didn't want to bring an orphan into the world, her fiance decided to marry some one else because he wanted children and didn't want to be widowed at some later date. Things have changed in terms of the fatal card, but the decisions are still hard and I admire all of you. I for one feel you have already given the world plenty and hope the world starts giving something back to you, in greatest admiration and most humbly yours.
    An Admirer of Female Hero's and their Spouses
  14. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    I have two daughters ages 15 and 13. I didn't really recover from one birth before I found out I was pregnant the second time. My labors and deliveries were long and painful. My second child weighed nearly 10 pounds. I had no help with either of these children as my mother was in the beginning stages of dementia and my husband was working 24/7. I had no babysitters. This is when my symptoms began. I never got a break from them. I was not diagnosed until age 45. Although I had the kids in my 30's. I just went down hill after the second kid. I told my husband we would not have any more. He wanted a large family like the kind he grew up in. But I stuck to my guns.

    The ironic thing now is that his nieces are having children and they want mine to come and babysit for them. (They were of babysitting age when my children were toddlers.) I tell them all to stick it.

    I love my children. But they ruined me physically.

  15. Kim

    Kim New Member

    Unless you count my kitten! Neither my husband nor I had kids when we married (mid 40's, just two years ago).

    I admire all you moms and dads.

  16. Pindooca

    Pindooca New Member

    I have a five year old son with autism. He is the joy of my life.

    I am done with having children now, not because I didn't like being pregnant or childbirth, but because my son is a full-time job :)

    I had FIbro before he came along.
  17. mommyx4

    mommyx4 New Member

    we have four kids, 13,8,3 and 6 months old, fibro got really bad after number 3. baby has MD, oldest one has non verbal learning disorder. 8 year old has athsma, and 3 year old has speech problems. My husband also has Muscular Dystropy, talk about being stressed and not getting a break, huh? and we are in the middle of moving. I am getting dsl connection soon after move, so I will be on more, this dial up is soooo slow. chat later all! take care, alicia from the midwest.
  18. pammy52

    pammy52 New Member

    I have 3 grown children.
    I know looking back I had probably had cfids/fms brewing as
    a child. I had my first child at 17, #2 at 18 and #3 at 24.
    I dont think the pregnancies or childbirths were an issue
    with my health but definitely know the sleep deprivation
    that goes with babies was a huge factor.
    My oldest was a very poor sleeper from birth. Not colicky or
    anything just didnt sleep much. 4 hrs out of 24 was alot and
    that wasnt necessarily at night.
    Interestingly enough he was diagnosed as bipolar 4 yrs ago at the age of 28.
    The psychiatrist that treated him said there is a connection
    between poor sleep patterns as a child and depressive
    disorders when older. Although he has not pursued diagnosis I know that he as well as his 2 sisters have fms and/or cfids.
    It is definitely generational in our clan.
  19. Lumare41

    Lumare41 New Member

    We have 4 15 yr old son 13 yr old daughter and 8 yr old boy girl twins.My twin pregnancy was extremly tough and was always in the hospital.They were 5 wks early and weighed 6,8 and 5,9 the dr. said if i had gone full term i would have had 8 pound twins.They are what keep me going and are a true blessing.
  20. dimarc

    dimarc New Member

    My husband of 21 years and I have two wonderful boys, ages 10 yrs and 7 yrs. However., my first baby boy was stillborn. He had renal agenisis (no kidneys) Although, I thought I would die on the spot, God gave us the courage to go on, and we were blessed with two more boys. In my heart, I will always have three. The fibro has made it difficult to do a lot of things with them. Sometimes, I just force myself, because I want to be involved with them, but I always pay dearly for it. Is it fair to let them know how much I hurt, or do I spare them the worry?