DO YOU LOOK SICK?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia and ME & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' started by srobins, Oct 11, 2003.

  1. srobins

    srobins New Member

    JUST CURIOUS, I KEEP READING POSTS ABOUT HOW PEOPLE "LOOK HEATLTHY" AND DON'T "LOOK SICK". I ACTUALLY DO LOOK SICK. I GET A LOT OF STARES BECAUSE WHEN I AM HAVING A FLARE-UP MY EYES GET REAL PUFFY & SMALL. I ALSO GET REALLY DARK CIRCLES UNDER MY EYES AND NO AMOUNT OF MAKEUP HIDES IT! I NEVER HAVE TO SAY "I DON'T FEEL WELL TODAY" BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE CAN TELL. I HAVE EVEN HAD COMPLETE STRANGERS TELL ME I LOOK LIKE I NEED TO SIT DOWN, GET SOME SLEEP, ETC. PEOPLE I KNOW WILL TELL ME THAT EVEN THOUGH I'M TRYING TO NOT LET ON I'M SICK, MY EYES GIVE ME AWAY EVERY TIME.
    IS ANYONE ELSE LIKE THIS??
  2. IgotYou

    IgotYou New Member

    But when I'm having a bad flare, I do look sick. People often ask me, "Are you OK?" And on the phone people frequently ask me if I have a cold or am sick. But because most of the time I look normal, they don't make the connection. I think that's what people mean by us "looking healthy".
  3. PhoenixRising

    PhoenixRising New Member

    Actually, I look sick to those who knew me in my "real life" before the flares got bad.

    I was talking to a friend just last night and began to cry because I looked in the mirror the other day and saw terrible dard circles under my eyes like I have never ever had...it looked the way women look the morning after sleeping with mascara...only I dont wear mascara.

    No matter what I do, the dark circles are there, the tired distracted expression, its all there. To anyone who would meet me today, it would not be apparent. But to those who knew me when I was a DYNAMO it shows so much that I can see the "awww" in their eyes. The weight gain and hair loss is also very obvious to my old friends.


    Whether or not we look sick is relative to when the beholder met us.

    Phoenix
  4. Denise85

    Denise85 New Member

    I usually don't look sick but I hear constantly that I look tired. I just feel like screaming when I hear that because duh......I'm always tired!
  5. jadibeler

    jadibeler New Member

    looked pretty bad last week when I was wheeling a cart up to Walmart. A woman in a motorized cart stopped me and said "Do you want my cart? I'm done with it." I was so surprised, I didn't realize it showed.

    My friends can tell when I'm not feeling well, even if only on the phone. They can hear it in my voice and see it on my face. And they have seen/heard it often enough and for long enough to believe I have problems.

    I think it is self-centered, unobservant people who think we look good all the time, or those who just don't see us when we're in a bad way because we don't go out where they can get a good look. And admit it, so many of you put on a brave face and act like you aren't in pain or ready to keel over. It's alright to look sick when you are!

    JoAnn
  6. hope-floats

    hope-floats New Member

    when I'm not feeling good. It's usually when I am extremely fatigued that I get a headache and feel nauseous.

    Otherwise, other than dark circles (that I've had for a long time), I pretty much look OK. People have said "you look great!" even when I know I don't. Sometimes people say this as a greeting without even thinking about it. I know I have done that.
  7. Dara

    Dara New Member

    and everyone tells me how tired I look - well, maybe that's because I am tired all the time.


    Dara
  8. Dree

    Dree New Member

    I never look as bad as I feel!...And its true when they say "the eyes are the window to the soul", Because it is here, you can see my pain. From an outwardly appearance I seem fine to others. I get up in the mornings, shower, get dressed, fix my hair, make-up...the whole nine yards. Even if its just to move from bed to couch...lol.....Even when I am in a flare, it just makes me feel better to have my hair fixed and make-up on...That mind over matter thing...maybe if I can make myself look good, I will feel better....Hardly ever works, but I keep trying *grin*.......But to other people, my eyes give it away. Don't have dark circles or puffy like srobins mentioned, so not sure how they see the pain. Maybe a sadness about 'em?.....A couple of days ago, my neighbor came over with her 2 month old and 2 yr old and when I answered the door, she said "this looks like a bad time, I can tell you aren't feeling well"...And, I'm like "how did you know?"...She said your eyes...I can see the pain in your eyes"........so I ran to a mirror and sure enough....there were 2 painful eyes....lol.....Actually, when I really looked at them....they seemed to a more piercing blue,(and they are normally more of aqua/green/blue) but kinda sad looking...not really droopy, just sad.......
    Anyone else notice you own eyes in a flare?..And if they change colors?....... And yet another interesting topic,,,,Thanks for sharing
    HUGS
    DREE
  9. tgirl

    tgirl New Member

    I don't look sick at all (I've had CFS for 14 years) even when I'm at my worst. When I've got a bad fever I look all bright eyed and bushy-tailed with glowing red cheeks, that outdoorsy-healthy look. Sometimes I wish it would show in my face, how I feel, it must be hard for others to believe I'm really sick. My mother and I (she's got fibro and also looks great, except I can tell from her eyes) sometimes joke that we should put white powder on our faces so that we look ill.

    Tgirl
  10. tandy

    tandy New Member

    I hear it all the time...'you look tired"
    I hate to hear it...to me its a kind way of saying"you look like sh*t" (maybe its me...but I hate to be told that!) I used to say yeah I am tired,now I say yeah you look kinda tired too.....is everything ok? turn it around and make them wonder about themselves!!LOL (makes me feel better!)teehee!! But to me,when I'm really not feeling good at all....yes,I do look ill.dark circles,eyes look blah.....no gleam,no sparkle~ Good post...Thanks!
  11. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    Like a lot of others who posted before me, I have the nasty dark circles under my eyes. I have them all the time. When I'm in a flare they are worse. They get very puffy and my whole eye seems to shrink in size. My eyes feel sunken in.

    You can tell there's something wrong with me because I just shuffle along when I walk. No pep to my step!

    Good wishes,
    Michelle
  12. DesertSongDog

    DesertSongDog New Member

    I've got the dark circles, I'm told I look tired.
    I am often having sinus problems or allergy attacks so I often sound like I have a cold or flu.
    I try not to leave the house during my most painful days when I can barely walk but when I do I usually always walk slowly or limp although I do tend to stuff the pain a bit and try to walk somewhat "normally". If I am working I can kick into higher gear and walk fairly normally or rush around if an emergency comes in and the adrenalin gets going, but I pay for it later.
    I was working recently when I got a really bad bout of dizziness and I was leaning against a wall to hold me up and trying not to move when a co-worker asked if I was all right, she said my face had gone very pale ... not sure how she could tell because I'm always pale.

    But in general I guess I just look like a pasty-faced tired person who walks like a drunken 90 year old who sniffles a lot. I suppose I look FINE.
  13. srobins

    srobins New Member

    ONE HOUR YOU CAN LOOK AND FEEL LIKE CRAP AND THE NEXT - WOW! I FEEL & LOOK GOOOOOOD!! THEN IT'S BACK DOWN AGAIN! I FEEL LIKE A PING-PONG BALL!
    LA-woman likes this.
  14. aching

    aching New Member

    My eyes get real puffy on the upper lids and my eyes get dry and sore. My neck has also disappeared and my glands under my jaw are sore. Last week it all came to a head and I was exhausted (more than normal). I guess it was a flare of some kind. "You look like hell", my neighbor told me.
    aching
  15. ANNXYZ

    ANNXYZ New Member

    Only those who know me well can tell I am struggling. This illness is frustrating because it is so often invisible to everyone else and to med professionals who diagnose disease. It is hard to feel absolutely sick as a dog and
    believe you are not free to explain your suffering without
    being viewed negatively , or being misunderstood. I have passed the point of being dependent of the approval of EVERYONE including every doctor. I don't judge their ignorance because I would rather be preoccupied with finding helpful tools to get better. There have been many other people in history who were misunderstood as they suffered . I am not the first.
    The one sore spot with me is the way the medical professionals instantly become convinced of psychiatric disorders when they can't fit a patients problems into a diagnostic box . Even if a person has a REAL psychiatric problem that would not invalidate an underlying disease. Their rush to label patients (esp women) as hysterics speaks volumes about their own issues as HUMAN BEINGS.
  16. nelushka

    nelushka New Member

    I could not pass this opportunity although this is the first time that I post a message here. I feel so much identified with this site; it's a blessing. You won't hear from me that often due to my carpal tunnel condition, I can't write that much. I do have FM, disk buldging, sleep apnea, Hashimoto (thyroid), panic attacks/depression, asthma...you name it. But with me eyes, they are out of me completely. Starting from the puffiness in the upper eyelid, dark circles, burning, blurred, always a tear leak that burns at the same time...no eye specialist can find nothing! The even though I had miastenia gravis but the 2 doctors that tested me on it found it negative. I've been struggling after working for 36 years, being a hard worker that now I feel like I'm not the same person anymore. I can't realize how did I got in here but fighting with myself everytime on it. Finally, this message board shows it; it reflects exactly what I feel, and here I am repplying to you guys. I hope you all have a wonderful, blessed day and please, please, keep on writing as this is my daily companion. Hang in there for yourself and for some of us! Thanks!
  17. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    My husband saids I'm too pale to be sicilian, my friends are always telling me I'm too skinny, but I'm not. I also get the dark circles under the eyes from time to time. don't care.
    Lisa
  18. pammy52

    pammy52 New Member

    My eyes are very puffy,red and glassy much of the time.
    As a kid they were the first signal that I was getting sick.
    Many times they look worse than I feel but much of the time they are a good indicator of how tired and in pain I am.
    It is frustrating because there are days when I have mentally psyched myself before going to work to stay really upbeat,which is my nature as a rule, and then 2 or 3 people will say; "You just look so tired today..your eyes give it away." "Are you o.k.?"
    In a way I am glad that people tune in and acknowledge but many times I just wish that I could find a way to get rid of the puffy glassy look. I am sure there are some people who think I am a boozer. If they only knew....I have maybe 1 or 2 alcoholic beverages a yr. if that.
    Eating low carb eliminates quite a bit of puffiness. If I indulge in sugary,starchy foods my eyes are almost puffed shut in the morning. It is a most attractive look. Ughhhh.
    Pammy
  19. KMD90603

    KMD90603 New Member

    When the pain and fatigue is worse than normal, I look sick. I tend to get very pale when I'm not feeling well. Whether it be a sore throat, achiness, or just plain old fatigue, people (especially my mother) can usually tell when I'm flaring. I get dark circles under my eyes and and my face is white as a ghost.

    Kim
  20. hahaha

    hahaha New Member

    Yes I have dark circles under my eyes which started when I got the CFS. I think it is something to do with poor circulation, I have searched on the net but there doesn't seem to be a cure. Mine get worse when I flare, or if I've been out late drinking.

    I generally look pale, my eyes get a bit red and dry and as does my hair.

    It's like there's some kind of block inside me that's preventing me from using all the nutrients in my food, so I generally look a bit ill all the time, but people who have known me only since I've had CFS think I look fine.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/10/2006]