DO YOU LOOK SICK?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia and ME & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' started by srobins, Oct 11, 2003.

  1. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    Hi Scrobins! I usually get people telling me that I look great, but when I'm flaring up, my family and close friends can always tell when this DD is rearing it's ugly head at me. I am intrigued by the fact other posters have mentioned dark circles. I have been having this problem too, no matter how much I try to hide the circles, they just get worse. Maybe dark circles is a fibro thingy, what else is new, LOL.

    I have lost a lot of weight in the last 3 years, and people are always mentioning how nice I look, if they only knew while they are saying that to me with a smile on their face, my neck, low back, arms and head are hurting and I'm feeling a lot of fatigue, but I just smile and say "thank you" and call it a day. Hugs, Chelz.
  2. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    But no one ever thinks I look sick! Just the opposite. If I say I am sick, they say you don't look sick!

    I was at a wake a few weeks ago, a man was there that I had not seen in 27 years, he was telling others that he could not believe that I looked the same as when he last saw me (no, I did not recognize him :), he knew me instantly.
    The funny thing was, I had a bad virus, and was even a little shaky on my feet that day.

    If I wanted to be pitied, I am in bad shape. No one ever thinks I look sick. Only my husband would know.

    This is a mysterious illness to be sure.

    Shalom, Shirl
  3. srobins

    srobins New Member

    I DO USE AN EYE MASK AT NIGHT THAT FEELS NICE & COOL ON MY PUFFY EYES. I ALSO USE A DARK CIRCLE DIMINISHER FOR THE DARK CIRCLES.
  4. lebra

    lebra New Member

    and go on about my day. Most of the superficial folks never know whats going on but my family and closest friends can look at me and tell when it is getting bad for me. My best friend always wants me to do something, go to the doctor, take this, take that, go home, rest.etc. Sometimes I just have to tell her that I love and thank her for her concern but it cant just be fixed. some days you just get thru it and too tired to try another thing and be disappointed. I am very stoic and try best to hang on but some days I shut my office door and cry or go to the restroom and just cry a little bit, fix the makeup and go on. I am doing all that I can at this point in my life and treatment. but to answer the question, mostly I look tired from noon to the end of the day. Mornings I am tired but fresh looking.
    lebra
  5. tracyr

    tracyr New Member

    I guess when I'm doing well and out in the world, I look good. No one would ever guess what's really going on, and I make it that way on purpose.

    My flare-up from hell, which began it's downward spiral in August, started to change that facade. By last week, I hadn't slept in 10 days, couldn't keep food in me (IBS hit as well), and was shaking and sweaty. I literally scared my doctor, whose seen me in all kinds of modes. Yes, I think I was pretty damn ugly. I couldn't hide anything this time.

    Usually, I get that annoyingly stupid comment when I say I'm not feeling good. "oh, but at least you look good!" AAHH! That drives me crazy.

    Tracyr
    LA-woman likes this.
  6. LA-woman

    LA-woman New Member

    I can relate to much of what is being said in here. I also can look very ill when I have a flare. It all depends on how bad I feel. But the first years, I could sometimes look quite healthy even in periods when I was ill. I think the years when I could look healthy even when I felt bad sometimes, it was because I did not have much stress hormones in my body. It is usually the bad migraines or persisiting migraines and vertigo + the extreme fatigue that makes me look worst. How ill Ilook vary, but it can affect my eyes badly, I can also get dark circles, more or less puffiness in the face and nose, looking sickly pale, my skin can look flushed. I can even get a wrinkle between the eyebrows that disappear whenI feel better. Also I tend to look a bit sad or frowny as some has suggested. When it gets too bad, I don't like to go out at all. And I have received comments too when I look really sick. Usually I wait to leave the house until I feel and look better, but if lasts and I feel well enough to leave, I will not let it stop me. Maybe on really bad days, we could wear a t-shirt or something, so people won't start speculating. :rolleyes:
  7. ms.connie

    ms.connie Member

    I never start my day till between 10-12 am. I wake up earlier,, take my meds, a hydrocone tablet 4mgs for one pill..neurontin for neuropathy..synthroid for hypothyroidism..and a anti-depressant,,forgot the name, sorry.... I lay in bed for another hour,, I can feel the meds kicking in, its kinda like i feel my legs melting ( for lack of a better word)...then my mind seems to clear. It's not until then that I attempt to get up....I use to get up before taking my meds,, and felt like i wasn't going to make it,,, a dying feeling..........then my husband told me to take the meds before I got up and it made quite a difference, thanks to my hubby.....same as the night, I take meds an hour before retiring...then I don't have to lay there waiting for meds to kick in, as I take zoplicone, a sleeping pill among others....helps with the rls..and insomnia,,as well as the pain,,which is 24-7...i'm in flare a lot,,I rarely go out of the house,,,, too much work to shower, get dressed,,do my thinning hair,,never put on makeup unless i have to go out, like drs. appts and such.

    I've had fms/cfs for 30 yrs now..i can't stand having company, especially stay over,, usually family. Making meals just for my hubby is hard work..dishes get left till the next day as i'm too tired to do them...and hoping for a better day the next day. I haven't yet, but i'm going to get a house cleaner in for at least once a week..vaccuuming is a no no for me..my family won't offer to help me with anything...... i think they think i'm just looking for pity...i rarely see my kids and they're all w ithin 20 mins. of me... i guess i'm too boring to visit...idk...but it hurts me....i get depressed a lot.

    My brother is the only one i feel loves me regardless how sick i am,,,,, he's always giving me hugs.....same with his w ife...and my mother.....other than that i get no support from the others...i'll even hint to my daughter that i wish someone would do my floors...but i never say anything anymore as no one offers to help me with anything..really and truly i've lost all the friends i've had..so i live a life of loneliness..in my pjs a lot.... it's just easier that way..As far as the way i look, welllll...not much different than what i read in all the posts...i have the shakes so its not easy putting on eye makeup..or doing my hair so i just leave it straight..

    As far as drs. go, well... i have no faith in any of them, even the specialists.......one dr. told me to "Get a hold of youself.....its all psycosymatic ( all in my head)....Have any of you seen a real fibromyalgia dr.? I don't know of one to go to..and yet when i was diagnosed.. the dr. then told me "You have fibro".....by pressing on a t rigger point.....i've been on so many diferent meds....what i'm on now seems to the best of all......the main one that helps me is the hydrocodone and neurontin..

    Oh shoot! I didn't mean to write a book,,,but this so called invisible illness is a killer....there are days I feel like i'm dying....i'll write more later, i'm tired........this is my first post...and this thread seemed to really hit home... Thank you for letting me vent.........Love & hugs......God bless you all!
    ms.connie
    bct likes this.