Do you rarely feel like talking?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Sandyz, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I feel myself feeling this way alot. I don`t know if its because of the Fm/CFS or am I depressed?? Do you feel this way too? To me it feels like a big effort to communicate most of the time. Their are days when I am more talkative, better days I guess.

  2. Empower

    Empower New Member

    yes, that is me

    On my better days, I talk more :)
  3. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Know exactly what you are (not)talking about. I think it might have something to do with the sensory overload we feel.

    There are days when I dread talking to anyone and cringe when the telephone rings. It just seems overwhelming. Then there are days when I could talk for hrs! Altho it does make me tired.

    go figure

    Also have noticed that if I talk for along time my neck will ache and sometimes lose my voice
  4. jaded_lady

    jaded_lady New Member

    If you don't talk then you have to explain why you are not talking.

    It is easier to talk some when I don't feel like it, then explain how I feel.
  5. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Oh yes! I feel the same. I come home from work, the phone rings and I cringe. I don't answer the phone and when my husband does, he's now fibbing to people telling them I'm not home yet or something - to my family, he says I'm resting. I often just say to him "I can't talk" - he knows.
    Some days are MUCH worse than others. I can't talk to him even.

    I like to call my Mom every night. Some nights I just have to say - "can't really talk, but wanted to say I love you". She understands.
  6. Doober

    Doober New Member

    without talking if I could. But with a wife and 2 kid's???? Totally impossible.

    Even thought of joining one of those monastaries where you take a vow of silence.......

    It is not that I don't want people interaction, it is just don't want my words to come out wrong, slurry or just totally mis-understood which always ends up bringing questions after questions.

    Also, a lot of time the conversation at some point will either become negative or negative comments will be said. With enbough going on in this world, negative vibes are just not what I want.

    Another reason is when I do talk to people, some are so judgemental and self serving that I get so tuned out to them.
  7. sascha

    sascha Member

    depression is inevitably part of what we cycle through, i think, but it follows from depletion of energy; is not causing it. it's discouraging feeling wasted in all parts of our being- our brains, spirits, body- the spark kind of goes out for a time. talking to people is very demanding. very- also something we need, so there's quite the built-in conflict. when i have an invested talk with a friend, which i LOVE, i feel the toll it takes on me afterward. i have to pick and choose times to talk like that. and have long spaces in between to regroup.

    there are plenty of times i'm not up to answering the phone. it can take a message.

    it's a tricky business, charting our course through our particular minefields.

    i wish you and all of us very very well! best, sascha
  8. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    Me too...sometimes I even just want to be alone. For myself I chalk it up to depression. Who wouldn't be depressed having to deal with FM.

    If I can manage to bottle up my feelings, then I can chat you ears off. Thats not healthy either:)

  9. kriket

    kriket New Member

    I am too overwhelmed and feel too tired and sick to talk to anyone most of the time !

    You are not alone !

    [This Message was Edited on 07/07/2009]
  10. LadyCarol

    LadyCarol Member

    Me too, and no one seems to understand what it's like unless they actually have CFS/ME or something that affects them in a similar way.

    Day to day living, I'm tired of having to keep repeating myself to the same people over and over, it's as though they just don't care or can't be bothered to remember things I've told them several times over. It takes energy out of us every time we have to do something and having to repeat ourselves and/or talk about the same thing over and over gets us more tired. Then they think we get down because of the illness when the reality is we get down because we are drained, tired and fed up of other people not making an effort to care, support and listen to us.
  11. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    Thanks for your responses. Its good to know I am not alone on this. Doober, I could join a monastary and take a vow of silence too. Then I wouldn`t have to talk to stupid people that really don`t care. I too have a family so I do my share of talking and I do get in my talkative moods. But it seems like I am always exhausted after any social thing and have to rest up sometime for days. Crazy, crazy Fm.
  12. Beadlady

    Beadlady Member

    and write alot for my job.

    Some nights I really have a hard time trying to say my "lines" over and over again--I frequently say the wrong things--so embarrassing.

    I use a headset and that is better than trying to hold the phone and write, but it has its faults too--hearing too many fax numbers and that annonying disconnect sounds feel like something is driving into the side of my head.

    The multi-tasking of writing and talking and not trying to make sure there are no mistakes can be very difficult.

    ***I do education surveys and sometimes I think I get hung up on because I don't get the words out right***
  13. tennisnut

    tennisnut New Member

    For me, it's one of the biggest burdens for me to bear. As talking and listening seem to build up in my head and create pressure. That is very unpleasant and always has me backing away from people in order to lay down in a quiet place. I really don't know how to deal with it and it kills social and family situations for me. TN
  14. SpecialK82

    SpecialK82 New Member

    Yes, talking is a nightmare. It drains so much of my energy to have a conversation, and I always feel that I need to put extra effort into looking interested in what others are saying to show them that I care. Even just making facial expressions is tiring.

    It is so lonely because I really want to be social and talk, I am a prisoner trapped in my body. I feel that I just watch life going by, and I'm jealous of others just doing the simplest of things.

    I cannot listen to the radio or TV for a long time either - everything has to be very quiet or I can't cope well.

    Sometimes I wish we could all live close to each other - we would get together, talk quietly, eat good food, share hugs and take naps.

  15. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    It would be nice if we could all live close and help each other out and have nice quiet times together. Sometimes I feel like a zombie. Just kind of going through the motions in life. Really I don`t know why I try so hard for other people, got to stop that. I aways was to much of a people pleaser. I am tired of putting on an act that I as ok when I am far from ok!

    Luv and hugs, sandy
  16. GALynn

    GALynn New Member

    I sometimes feel so tired that talking will just use up what little energy I have. So I avoid family, friends etc. Don't even answer the phone at all some days.
  17. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I can still talk people's ears off but I have very little energy for the phone. I talk when I have energy which is often late at night and I can't handle arguing anymore or trying to defend myself. So if someone is questioning me, my brain shuts down. It's so frustrating. I always think of good replies days later. Being angry or frustrated puts me in a flare and it doesn't take much to get me mad these days.

    When I'm doing really badly which is more and more often I can't talk at all and if I try my husband often can't hear me. :( Then he gets mad that I'm mumbling. I've never been a mumbler.

  18. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Same here......even finding the clarity and energy to type is sometimes hard for me!

    I also cringe everytime the phone rings and often just let the machine answer it. I always have to tell people that it's nothing personal, they think I'm avoiding them...But I'm simply avoiding everybody! Hee hee!

  19. jaynesez

    jaynesez New Member

    written your post! Like others, I have to talk on the phone all day, help customers, co-workers, etc. I hate the phone!! I've lost all of my friends except for one, who totally understands. We leave each other voice mails, and when able, we'll return the others' call. She is my only friend that doesn't gripe about me not calling, or returning calls. Why can't people understand, even after you've explained it to them, repeatedly? Most of the time they want to talk about themselves, which is fine, I used to be a great listener, and always joked I should have been a counselor, but I just can't do it anymore. The other poster is correct in saying that we are supposed to keep a social life, its healthy not to be isolated, but when you don't have the energy what are you supposed to do? And when I'm home alone there is nothing on, no TV, no radio, I love it! In fact, I don't go anywhere except for work anymore. My family doesn't understand either, my mom and sister are constantly on me for not calling. Sigh... I used to be an extrovert, now I'm an introvert, so I just figure it's that time in my life for inner reflection, the only problem is everytime I try to meditate or "reflect" I fall asleep! :)
    You are obviously not alone, so don't feel guilty!