Does anyone else feel trapped????

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by pookiebyrd, Jan 31, 2003.

  1. pookiebyrd

    pookiebyrd New Member

    This is probably a pretty out there question, but do you ever feel that you are trapped in this body that just doesn't function the way your brain tells it to???? My mind tells me that I should be working, cleaning, running the kids around, being an active mom. But every time I try, the body just does not want to cooperate??? My therapist says that it is just my stupidity and denial. I just wondered if everyone fights and struggles with the thought that all these changes and horrible days are not really happening and that our lives will go back to what they once were.... I hate feeling like a burden or party pooper to my family, so I try very hard to stay upbeat and not let them know how bad i hurt, but sometimes I just don't have the energy. Sorry to babble on, I guess it is just a bad day...

    Pookie
  2. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    Takes time and I can't believe your therapist would call your actions stupidity. To me that would be a sign to find another therapist.

    It's normal to want to be able to do all the things we used to do. I think we would all be thrilled if that would happen. However, realistically, it is not happening anytime soon. So until then you can learn to do things that will lessen your pain and allow you to learn your limits without overdoing things. The key is stopping before you have done too much.

    A good way to learn how much is too much is to keep a daily log where you list your activities and how you feel. The one I keep lists four times of day: sleep, AM, PM, and evening. I also have a column where I record my blood pressure, since I monitor it due to medication I am taking to increase it.

    Another thing that some find helpful is to plan to rest for at least fifteen minutes every morning and every afternoon. Many people find this small amount of rest makes a huge difference in how they feel. Personally I need more, but I have CFIDS and due to Neurally Mediated Hypotension I need to rest more frequently.

    Finally I would suggest that you would be happier if you admitted to your family that you are not always able to do everything you used to do and even that you would like to do. The longer you continue to pretend everything is OK when it isn't the longer you will be in more pain than you need to be.

    I hope these suggestions help you.

    Barbara
  3. pepper

    pepper New Member

    Have you been sick very long? You sound just like I felt when I first became ill. I wonder about your therapist. Stupid? Not at all. Denial? Probably. Do you know about the seven stages of grief? Denial is the first one and we have all experienced it probably at the beginning of the illness - we have to grieve the loss of our lives as we knew them, and the many losses that accompany that.

    I continued to work long after I should have because, despite what I knew and despite the advice of a friend whose daughter has severe CFS, I felt I would beat it because I was determined to! I felt so trapped in a very unfamiliar body that used to work and shop and cook and clean and do all the "mom" things that I could no longer do.

    It will get better with time as you adjust to your limitations. A good therapist would be helping you make these adjustments and as well as accept what has happened.
    My sister is a health psychologist and that is the focus of her practice. I suggest you find someone who is familiar with chronic illness and can help you.

    Take care of yourself. None of us asked for this.
    (((HUGS)))Pepper
  4. lynnkat

    lynnkat New Member

    Pookie--Tha't just how I'm feeling today too!! I finally got a firm diagnosis of fibro in November and can relate 100% with what you are saying. I feel so angry that I can't do the things I used to do like hold a full-time job, keep my house clean, cook and bake lots of goodies. I try to take it one day at a time and pat myself on the back when I actually do get some things done. Sometimes it's hard especially when people don't understand what fibro is because it's not a "visible" disease. When they ask me what fibro is and I tell them and they still look at me like I'm just nuts and lazy to boot. I ask them if they have ever had a "charlie horse"(that's a leg cramp here in Kansas!!). When they say yes I just tell them that fibro for me is a body wide "charlie horse"!! It sure makes them think about it!!! I'm sorry for your pain but know that you are not alone in this crazy fibro community. Take care,lynnkat
    [This Message was Edited on 01/31/2003]
  5. yogabunny

    yogabunny New Member

    I can totally relate to feeling trapped in a body you didn't make and that won't listen to you. I've been sick for five years now (and luckly married for six) and I've had ups and downs. I worked part-time for awhile for two years and then went back to work full-time because meds cost money and my COBRA had run out.
    I have a BA and will have an HR certificaion here next month, and I an Admin. I always thought I'd do better.
    I admit that I did pretty good for most of the last two years but a little over a year ago I added IBS to CFS and cliniclly low B-12 (which mimics CFS and which is why my primary dr didn't agree with my rhummys CFS call until last year.)
    Now I'm on OFMLA at work (I can use it in small amounts as needed up to 12 weeks) and just missed two days this week due to nausa, vomiting and stomach cramps so bad I couldn't move. And oddly enough my primary says he thinks I might be depressed. DUH
    I hope you remember that no matter what your body feels like you did nothing to deserve this, you are in pain (phyically and emotionally) and you will be hard to live with some times. Just as long as you are the best you you can be every day no one can take that away.