Does anyone else get depressed this time of year?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by phoebe1, Dec 7, 2005.

  1. phoebe1

    phoebe1 New Member

    I don't know what is wrong with me but I always get depressed around christmas, I don't suffer from depression it's just this time of year, where actually I should be feeling the "holiday cheer", I can't understand why I don't feel happy?

    There is no reason for me to feel depressed, nothing has changed but I feel so tired and listless and nothing cheers me up, I feel so pathetic.
    Does anyone know what I mean?

  2. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member

    Do a little research you'll see what I mean.

    I have depression every year, starts in fall, slowly creeps up, I'm a sluggardly scrooge by Christmas. I got a light therapy lamp and it is helping.

    Dec. 21 is the winter solstice and the shortest day of the year, so if you have SAD, then you have a very good reason to be depressed that time of year. Your brain can't help but go into low gear w/ so much less sunlight. November is brutal for cloudy days and crappy weather leading up to Christmas too.

  3. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    and my son's 16th is december 21st....i've tried to make it special for him through the years...but it seems the older he has gotten things have just gone wrong....father that was not really here too busy chasing skirts...anyways...i'm trying to forget these things....

    thank god i have therapy tomaoorw night...and then on december 13th///...i have my issues with my childhood movig on christmas and my dad throwing my toys out or things i played with when i was in 5th grade so i always thought id did that on purpose cause that was the type of man he was and still is.

    anyways not speaking to my parents since may of this year this is the second time of the cold shoulder from really stinks when youhad a father that molested you plus is was/is sober alcoholic...oh yeah he sold pot out of the house too...
    anyways my momther defends him and told my sister she considered me dead and my brother/ my motto is 3 out of 4 children can't be wrong...

    anyways i have seemed to get more and more depressed over the has always been too much for me...we were always expected to be the ones to fly back or drive back t michigan in the winter time...while my parents were retired and healthly enough to walk or fly...and my in-laws well they were school teachers...

    anyways last year i turned 40 so i cried literally for 3 days straight and din't hardly get out of bed...
    this year is almost seeming like it is going to turn into last year, repeat///


    go to doctors and maybe they can help you with some meds possibly...and then maybe you can feel the holiday cheer...

  4. natrlvr2

    natrlvr2 New Member

    I only get depressed because I still have a son who believes in santa and my income does not allow me to buy any gifts.I have to beg people to help me every yr.(no local programs to help the needy)It is such a humiliating time of yr.
    [This Message was Edited on 12/08/2005]
  5. Yucca13

    Yucca13 Member

    Someone told me the other day that sometimes Christmas is challenging because we compare to Christmas past and it brings up childhood memories (good and bad). Since it is family oriented, it will be different for me this year. My son has lived in Maui for years and doesn't come home for Christmas often and now my two youngest daughters will have nothing to do with us. So, I cry a little every morning.

    I'm trying to fight depression by doing little things connected with the season. My oldest daughter and our two grandsons will come to visit. That is very important to us and brings us lots of joy - something in short supply many times. I think there is a kind of pressure to be cheerful this time of year. You can do as little or a lot connected with this time of year so celebrate in your own way. Hope you find some ways to make a good time of year for you.
  6. lagm31

    lagm31 New Member

    I have fibro and have to deal with depression every day. When Christmas rolls around I really get depressed. Because I can not decorate the house like I use to. I can not do all the baking like I use to do. It's so depressing. I just do what I can but it just does not feel right. So I feel like a bah hum bug...lagm
  7. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    For me it's not just Christmas, it starts in December and goes until March.

    In January 1992 my future husband shot and killed his brother. It was self defense, but very tramatic just the same. Billy always got depressed right around Christmas and stayed that way until about March. His brother's birthday was in February and it was very hard for him to get through it.

    Then, on December 28, 1994, Billy shot himself. He just couldn't live with the guilt and pain anymore. We buried him on January 3, 1995. Our daughter was 10.

    Now I find I have taken on his depression. I get depressed before Christmas, I'm a wreck on the 28th and I stay depressed until after Johnny and Billy's birthdays (Billy's is also in February).

    I am now married to a wonderful man, but he just doesn't understand how I feel about this time of year. I always try to slip away and visit the graves of Billy and Johnny, and that seems to help. Again, my husband doesn't understand so I just don't tell him.

    Being depressed and feeling the loss as though it just happened makes it hard to enjoy the holiday, but God helps me through.

    I thank God for my wonderful girls who seem to understand better than anyone else and their joy (they are 21 and 27) fills my house and makes it much easier to cope.

  8. phoebe1

    phoebe1 New Member

    Thank you for sharing your stories, I don't think it's SAD, we are in the midst of summer and one of the hottest months of the year and the days are sunny and long.
    I also don't have any bad childhood memories, in fact I only have good ones, I've noticed that it's only the last couple of years this has been happening to me.
    See why I'm so confused? I really don't have a reason to feel depressed, I feel so helpless about it, I think I'll just blame it on the FM for now :)

  9. sunshine54

    sunshine54 New Member

    It's the pits. I had all my Christmas shopping done and wrapped as I had my second cervical fusion of the year on 11/29. I left the hospital the next day against my neuro's wishes but hubby's new insurance kicked in on 12/01 and the hospital was not in network so had to leave. Since we live about 1 1/2 hrs away from Little Rock my intent was to stay with my dad and my evil stepmom.

    They went gambling on 12/2 and left me to dog sit. I woke up at 3 am and the dog has peed in my bed. I got up and stripped the bed and washed, dried and folded everything and sprayed the mattess with lysol (all I could find) and called my hubby to come get me and called my sister and told her to call stepmom's daughter (who lives a block away) as I couldn't remember her last name and tell her to go check on dog during the day as my dad and stepmom were to be home around 4 pm.

    Called Sunday and my stepmom proceeded to chew me out and told me that my sister had to drive all the way from her home (15 miles) twice to let dog out. Found out later that day, that my sister was out Christmas shopping by their house and went their twice to let dog out, but left them a note telling them she was shopping. My dad called me Tuesday to check on me and I told him his wife lied to me and he said he didn't want to discuss it. #1 I couldn't hardly eat anything as they cut me near my throat to do cervical fusion and I shouldn't have been left alone for more than 24 hours.

    Supposed to have Christmas with my dad and stepmom's at my son's on the 18th. Not gonna happen as my daughter in law refuses to allow my step mom in her house now. So guess I will mail the gifts to my dad and stepmom.

  10. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member

  11. 6cats

    6cats New Member

    Yes I am not wild about this time of the year either....I don't know what it is...maybe all of the pressure of buying, buying buying. I think that is why Halloween is my favorite holiday. Talking to neighbors and giving the kids the candy and dressing up as well.

    But yes Christmas/Winter Holidays do nothing but put me in a blah blah mood...
  12. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Hi Phoebe!

    I replied re: your post about your husband's trip to the U.S. You made me laugh...thank you!

    Being where you live, you're right...SAD shouldn't affect you. But that doesn't mean you still shouldn't be overburdened and stressed, necessarily. The holidays bring so much more work (even if you do a small Christmas) and even more in the way of expectations. I think that is the worst of least here in the U.S. The hype now starts even before Halloween, and all around you there are these manufactured images of joy, peace, abundance, etc. So even if you have a "good" life, per se, you still can never keep up with it all. And that even on a subconscious level can be exhausting. Throw in having to do holiday cards, shop for gifts, etc., on top of having an illness that makes even everyday things challenging, and it's no surprise you aren't chipper this time of year.

    I used to get very bummed around the holidays. Again, I think it unconsciously was the whole "not meeting expectations" thing. Now I have gotten to the point that I just don't care about expectations and am doing my own thing. I am much happier, although this holiday season I am profoundly stressed as we are preparing to get our home on the market. So for Christmas, we got a new roof, are in the middle of getting fresh paint, and I need to shop for plants as well as a few gifts! :) But I know it will all work out.

    I do hope you are feeling better soon. Since it's summer, try to get outside and just do fun summer stuff, as you can. I know even on the glummest days I feel better if I force myself out to take a short walk or do a little work in my garden (I live in a mild part of the U.S. where we don't get the cold or snow).

    Best of luck to you! Cheers!

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