Does anyone else get tired of complaining?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kdeenak, Mar 15, 2006.

  1. kdeenak

    kdeenak New Member

    Okay bear with me--this is sort of a vent. Last night I had a migraine, coming from a headache I had off and on since Monday. I woke up at 3:00 with something that felt like heartburn along my sternum. I got up, sat on the couch and read and the pain went away. I heard the alarm go off in the bedroom for us to get up and go exercise, so I got in bed for a second because I knew he would be worried, and the pain came BACK.

    I felt well enough to exercise anyway so off we went. I got on the treadmill like normal, normal speed, everything. He went over across the gym to lift weights. I started walking, and noticed my left foot went numb on me and my left hip was hurting. I thought, Oh this is just great. What else?? Then my hands proceeded to join them. It was scary, but it made me mad at my body and I either got used to the hip pain or it let up, and I refused to stop. I did wish my husband had been next to me though so I could have asked him what the heck was going on (he is a PT), but in a way I was glad he wasn't because I didn't want him to hear me complain for the third time in 12 hours.
    The latest affliction? My stomach hurts really bad. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

    I HATE THIS STUPID DISEASE!! Why do we have such weird symptoms like this, day in and day out it seems there is something new and it makes us look like we are hypocondriacs, and we aren't!! Do they make you guys mad? I mean every day or every few hours something new you have to worry with and play detective trying to figure out how to make it stop? Most of us, myself included, can't rely on our physician for help, so it just makes you feel so isolated. If I didn't have this board, I don't know what I would do.

    My husband tries to understand, but how can he really? Besides not being in my body, he is very analytical and he tends to only know and understand things he can see. He has never treated a lot of fibro patients, but he does believe in it and knows what to do for them, although it seems limited. He also tends to not believe info unless it comes from a "reputable source" that he has heard of. So if I were to show him some info. from the website here, that would not fly. Not that it is not accurate, but he has never heard of Prohealth so he would be skeptical. That is just the way he is. He likes medical books, (he showed me his from school to "give me some info on fibro"--it was a joke!! No wonder we get such crappy care), WebMD, and Mayo Clinic, etc.

    I checked out the Mayo Clinic's explanation of fibro and it was really good. I showed it to him and he seems to be treating me with a little more understanding and asking me if I am feeling okay, if I am tired or in pain, whereas before he seemed oblivious. He would ask, Why are you so tired? Why didn't you sleep well last night?

    I just feel like screaming sometimes because everyday there is something new, and the worst thing is if you showed a doctor, you couldn't prove it. It seems most of our symptoms are subjective. It is an ache, a pain that can't be measured. I am always feeling like I have to prove myself, like I am on the offensive.

    Since my fibro came back a couple of months ago, I have progressively gotten more and more angry. I really can't even figure out why. I am angry at living in this town since getting married where I don't have access to my old fibro doctors and I don't want to start over. The medical care here is awful, so I feel like I am on my own, which makes me mad too and makes me feel helpless. Going to the old doctors right now is not an option because of my husband's schedule and the fact that I don't have a car because I totalled mine last Fall. My mom knows how much I suffered with this DD before and she knows I am going through it again so she is probably my biggest advocate. My in-laws don't get it, I get the feeling they think I am a big faker. That makes me mad and makes me not want to go with my husband to visit them every Sunday. My tolerance for things big and small is not too good right now.

    All of this pent-up anger makes me hateful and nasty to my sweet husband. I try to change my attitude but it all gets the best of you sometimes. I just have one weird symptom after another and another and it causes horrific stress. Do you also get tired of telling your husband or the person closest to you everytime you have another thing pop up? I told my husband that this morning and he said, "Well, it is not like you are making it up. They are real pains." Still, it is embarrasing to me.

    I am so sorry this is so long. I am just fed up, big time!

    (Sigh) Hugs and Love,

    Deena
  2. RockiAZ

    RockiAZ New Member

    Deena, I am so sorry you are feeling like this today - here is a nice big gentle hug for you.

    I hear you loud and clear. I won't go into my whole story now, but just know you are not alone.

    To answer your question...YES! I get VERY tired of complaining. It gets SO OLD! I had a very difficult time once I was dx with FMS/CFIDS. Sort of a relief that at least we had a name for all my crud finally. Then deep saddness. I've always been a strong and active person and would not give in to pain or anything. Now, I talk about it or some form of it, every single day. Whenever a new symptom appears, it's like "great, now what".

    As far as info for your hubby, there are several good books out there about FMS - one is called...now don't take offense to the title, took me a moment also "The Complete Idiots Guide to Fibromyalgia" and is written by Lynne Matallana, the founder of the National Fibromyalgia Association (www.fmaware.org). My hubby bought it for me and it's a very easy read book. There are many more though. Hope you find something that he will take to heart.

    Hang in there, and remember that we are just a key board away in times of need. :)

    Live, Laugh, Love,
    Rocki
    [This Message was Edited on 03/15/2006]
  3. angeljoe

    angeljoe New Member

    Deena I feel the same way. I really have stopped even complaining to my hubby and everyone else. No one really wants to hear about my pains. It does me good to write in a journal. I have a postive journal for each of my kids. I write special things in their books and leave all the negitive stuff in my personal one. I think it does help to let people know how you're feeling sometimes. My close friend is sick (other illnesses) so we talk and take turns listening to each other. I'm sending you hugs and prayers. I hope things start looking up for you soon!
    God bless,
    Angela
  4. LOSTSPIRIT

    LOSTSPIRIT New Member

    I have never posted before but wanted you to know I too am sick of complaining! I try so hard not to but when it is the only thing in your life and takes up so much of your thinking process due to the pain, it is hard to do. My poor husband gets the blunt of it as he is the one I see the most. For the ones out there who have found a way to not do it how is this done? I am so very down this month, I have fms and cfs(past 6 years) and also back and neck problems. I am 50(just turned on Feb 3)and ready to give up. I have an elderly mom who lives next door who has always depended on me to help her and my husband has lung diease so I am the one who drives eveyone, does most of the chores but have learned to let some go if I want to do a walk or go to grocery store. It seems like every year I am getting more strssed out (already got the shingles from stress) because I just can't keep up anymore. I stopped working in 2001 after trying to work 3 days a week and I would spend the days off doing nothing but resting from working. I got my SSD but that brings a host of more problems with money, so sick of being so poor. My mom is sick, is getting dementia and I cry daily as don't know what to do. It seems my life is nothing but cleaning and caring for my husband and mom and no one is caring for me? She is not bad enough for a nursing home but probably a assisted living would work but she is very very stubborn and well not listen to anything I say( course then I feel guilty). If anyone out there has the same or close to situation Please let me know what works for you. I don't even have the time to spend with my own daughter who is grown but we used to do everything together and now Moms no fun anymore. My husband is lost in the 50's and not very good at change. I am so angry that I have no control over my body. Thanks Trish
  5. jesuslovesu

    jesuslovesu New Member

    you all are the only people that truly understand i have support from my family but i know they get tired of hearing me complain. i am right now feeling like i have to convince everybody that something truly is wrong with me.