1. Healthly Food - Catch 22. It takes going to the grocery store. That can sometimes be my one activity for the day if I do amy fmaily's shopping for the week. It tires me out. Then my husbank is sure that I would be healthier if I ate healthier. I don't have much argument with that but if I take the time to cook a good well-balanced meal, I am sooo tired that I am not hungry and simply go lay down and go to sleep. Not to mention if I take out the foods I shouldn't eat for high chol./tri, FMS, vulvodynia (stuff with vit. C), and foods that get my IBS going--what does that leave? This is not easy. AND when he cooks, he takes the easy meals like eggs and pancakes, hotdogs, spaghetti with sauce in a bottle. I get this lecture all of the time. I agree with him. He just thinks it is all so easy to do. 2. Exercise - "My muscles probasbly hurt because I don't use them enough." That may be true at times. Pain comes and goes on its own cycle. Actually, my body hurts no matter what I do. If I put exercise into the equation for the day then I might find it difficult to get to meals or the household bills or whatever. Depending where I am on the pain cycle. My piont being--'It is not easy." Yes, I need to move around, stretch, exercise when I can and as much as I can depending on my body BUT our equation of life is a tough one. We are talking algebra not adding and substracting. 3. I know that in his pretty little head he thinks he would have this all figured out if he had been the one to go to the doctors. He is STILL in denial that no one really understands why we have this disease/disorder. So he is always telling me I should find a doctor(s) that can tell me the whys, etc. I explain to him all of the time that we are not there yet on research in the world plus all of us are so different. One hundred different people are taking and doing 100 different things and hoping it will help. 4. "You aren't getting better." Did he forget I had early menopause at 37? Lost a gallbladder at 30? Have vulvodynia? Have high chol/tri which is moslty contributed to genetics? Am know 40 not 30 years old? Raised two children which takes alot of the body?Have been suicidal once or twice? Suffer from depression? It all seems so hard to me and so easy to him. To him it is all about "choices." Choices are part of this but certainly I did not ask for alot of it. I need to made smart choices but it can be very hard to figure that equation. I am no idoit. I read. Get my newletters. Get on the internet. Read books. Build my support group, etc. Just ranting. Anyone else get those idiotic responses from the person who should understand you best? Lynda B.