Does Anyone Feel They Just Can't Take All This Anymore?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by greatgran, Oct 6, 2008.

  1. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Sorry, but I need to vent. Ever since I came down with this sinus, ear problem or whatever I have had for months along with the CFS/FM, Anxiety, Depression, Aches etc. I just feel I can't take it anymore, knowing I have no choice but to keep holding on.

    I did get to feeling somewhat improved months ago but since March I have been going down hill and can't get back.

    I awake with nausea, depression, body aches the darn weird head feeling , the horrible fatigue and I just can't seem to get a hold of myself.

    My husband tries to help when he is here but I feel I am driving him nuts all I can do is lie in bed, or the recliner and want to cry.

    Don't think I have been this bad for this long . I am to the point of being housebound again and it scares me so much.

    Have been to doctors, test are all ok except a slight elevate blood sugar and c-reactive protein, which could be coming from my sinuses.

    They don't seem concerned so guess I am ok but feel like I am dying. I have upped my xanax but not much help.

    Its not the pain, just the aches, heavy head and I feel like I am in a big deep dark hole. More anxiety/depression, fatigue, weakness and FEAR this won't leave.

    Thanks for letting me vent,


  2. matthew76

    matthew76 New Member

    I feel really weird every day and still haven't been diagnosed with CFS, so I also have to deal with my awful health anxiety. I have the same thing - sudden sinus problems I never had before all of this. It gave me more severe sleep apnea.

    I started to see a therapist. Perhaps that will help you. I know it's hard, but try to see any positives you can and make the most out of what you can do. Know that they all say you are not dying and think of the value you can be to this world.
  3. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I feel I am no benefit to anything or anyone right now, trying to keep the little greatgran today and I hate to feel so bad. Hubby is here if not I just couldn't do it.

    Sorry, you suffer,
  4. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    I know exactly how you feel.

    You pretty much described what I feel like right now.

    Sometimes I wonder how your body can feel this awful and still keep going.

    Told my sister that I was becoming housebound and becoming frantic to get things done(im alone).

    Don't feel alone Im in the deep dark hole with you.

    hugs back jenny
  5. wendysj

    wendysj New Member

    I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time for so long. I wish we knew what to do to make the "good days" come back. I've been in a flare now for about a month. I tell my loved ones it's so hard to see into the future because of this "dark cloud" that is surrounding me. I know the pain will go away, it's just hard to believe that after feeling so bad for so long.

    Please continue to vent. I see a counselor to help me with the fear I deal with on a daily basis. That may help you as well.

    Also, I have type 1 diabetes. If you get an infection, that makes your sugars go way up (for no reason sometimes). Be careful with what you eat and check your blood sugars often. Having high blood sugar makes us feel fatigued and light headed too.

    I hope you feel better soon.
  6. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    I struggle every day and just want to give up, so I totally know how you feel. It's never too late for a magic pill to come out and make us feel better, so let's just keep hoping.

    LISALOO New Member

    I feel like that everyday

    I can't live like this, but I can't and know I won't get better so it's a catch 22. I can't sit and get 20% worse each year.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/06/2008]
  8. abcanada

    abcanada New Member

    Almost all day every day!!! Laura I have 4 kids
  9. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    it is a effort
    to just be here on web to post
    but id be even more alone
    if i wasnt here
    you know what i mean/
  10. texasrose204

    texasrose204 New Member

    being like this day after day really gets old! I don't go anywhere except to drs. etc haven't been out in long time. I am so exhausted from pain etc. been in bed most of sept and oct not looking good either! We have to believe that things will get better. But please vent it seems to help when we let out those feelings. I do alot of crying and hold on because of my children and grandson.

    You know stressing just makes us feel worse another good reason to vent and not hold it in!
    I feel i have no purpose anymore besides holding this bed down. I do have faith though that there is a bigger picture here and keep believing!

    Will always read your post so just keep venting -- it helps on this end to! Knowing that someone else going through same thing!
    Take care and hugs back to ya!
  11. petemora

    petemora Member

    When I've had a few crabby unhappy days and nothing helps, I find the only cure is to buy a bunch of junk food (good chocolate, fiddle faddle popcorn, movie star gossip magazines, Cosmo, maybe a few good books from the library. I sit around all day and lounge around and read relatively unimportant stuff, eat food that I like but don't normally eat, I rent movies that only I am interested to watch. I have a "Janny Day" where only my wishes and desires matter.

    This usually gets me out of my funk.....
  12. monicaz49

    monicaz49 New Member

    I think I have replied to one of your older postings. I can so relate to you with your list of problems. Aches, anxiety, nausea, WEIRD head feeling, horrible fatigue, etc. It is VERY hard some days and I feel exactly like you. Its very tough to cope sometimes...i just keep on holding on for the next "decent" day.

    Email me anytime if you need to vent.

    you can find me up on top under the purple "support group" tabs. CFS support group, mountain view ca

    Take care
  13. Dawn1972

    Dawn1972 New Member

    I think you were in my head when you wrote this. I am having a great deal of trouble dealing with FM and all its many aches, pains, and energy drains. I was suppose to go back to work today, and I just couldn't do it. I have been out of work for a month and I know they are not happy about my being out, but I don't know what else to do. I am only 36 yrs old and have been diagnosed with FM for about a year and a half. I have had flares off and on, but this time it seems like I am down for the count. I have terrible thoughts about how lazy and unworthy I am to have such a loving husband and family, but their love is not enough to keep the really dark thoughts away. Someone please help me. I do not want to lose my job, but I have a feeling that going back to stand on my feet for 8+ hrs a day, and work with machinery, doesn't seem like it will happen. My family doctor is very supportive, but my rheumy is not. What does everyone think I can do? I will be done with my BS Degree in Paralegal next July, but what do I do in the mean time for a job and having medical benefits? I hope all this makes sense to everyone. I am blue, and exhausted, and achy, so my head is needless to say foggy. HELP!!!!!
  14. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    I feel I'm getting worse, housebound, bedbound - so fed up, I could scream.

    I dont take antidepressants and dont want to but I'm seriously considering it - I just think about dying all the time and like you I feel like I'm dying.

    I think we get more vulnerable with this illness as we get older and worse.

    I definitely know what you're talking about, wish I didnt.

  15. Shalome1990

    Shalome1990 New Member

    What the heck made me feel this way. I have tried every diet/eating variation, exercise light and intense, every vitamin available, colon cleansing, every medicine that the Drs. think will help me......I feel like if I knew what my problem was.....I could make it better. But, from my labs with regular doctors they say nothing is abnormal, I went to a FFC Doctor and they say my labs showed so many things that it seems impossible to conquer. I have been in a down slope too, for 18 years...I am bad or worse, I have no good days. And I hate it when people ask me how I am because I force out the fine because they will never understand. Luckily my husband is good to me and understands me and I have a beautiful daughter. But it seems that I can not be a good wife or mom. I feel very inadequate compaired to what I want to be and do. So, that hole you are in, even though you can't see us, you are not alone....ok.......I am in there with you......
  16. tennisnut

    tennisnut New Member

    Whether this will help your doctor take you more seriously, I don't know, but it worked for me. I started a log again of several columns.
    First page stating how long I had been miserably ill and details and what drugs I believe have made me very much worse.

    Next and subsequent pages, dated, how I feel today, "eg exhausted, laying down most of the day". Another column from 1-10 how I rated last night's sleep and the last column, how I rated my day (1 for shocking).

    If this seems daunting, it is the only thing that has jolted my doctor's awareness of the misery of my life. It's very confronting for oneself also to see the sum of your life.

    You have a tool then to ask - "what can you do for me that you haven't? or what do you suggest to give me a life (referral?)

    It only take a minute each day and my doctor is always more moved by hard evidence.

    Good luck and hang in there, Cheers TN
  17. peacetranquility

    peacetranquility New Member

    I cannot imagine anyone with fibro not having meltdowns. I have been suffering for several years and only recently got wise enough to give myself permission to have meltdowns. It is OK to be angry and feel sorry for yourself, Lord knows we have earned it! I let those around me know that I am having my own pity party and don't know how long it will last! Just giving myself permission helps the process move along much quicker.
  18. tandy

    tandy New Member

    I feel like I can't take it anymore almost every day.

    then the next day comes and Here I am!! doing it again.

    I have honestly thought many times that "God if we could just have a break" ???
    maybe just a day or 2 every week or so of a not so bad day would make us more able to tolerate all the really bad pain days~
    but this disease does'nt give us breaks! I think thats what is so exhausting. Its every friggen day!
    draining the life out of us
    :( uuuuggghhh

    hang in there,and hope for new medical breakthroughs
  19. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Thanks to each of you for your replies..It helps so much to vent to someone that can relate.

    I would love to answer each post but just don't feel up to it.

    I hope one day we can all get out of this deep dark hole.

    God Blessings with each of you.
  20. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I feel the same way as everyone else that has posted. It's tiring, exhausting just dealing with the feelings!

    One thing that I have made sure of is that my 'home', my sanctuary, my 'place' (wherever it may be..the couch, my bed etc.) is some place that I look forward to being. The minute I stop enjoying that 'place' I know I'm in doubletrouble.

    I do leave to go to work. When I don't look forward to going home because I know I'm just going to head to the couch, I know that's bad news.
    I'm simplifying because I don't have the energy or the words to truly describe what I mean.

    I can 'deal' much better when I at least somewhat can enjoy where I'm stuck. Now of course, when I'm in horrible pain - nothing, no place, no one can really help me. I try to avoid those times by taking my medication on time, not overdoing it, sleeping when I need to, even if it's not when I 'should' be.

    I struggle everyday with not only the pain, but moreso with the emotional part of this DD. I think I did better before I was diagnosed honestly. For some reason since then I've felt worse.

    I try very hard to forget about this crap as much as my body allows me to. That really does help. Whether it be getting lost in a movie for a couple of hours, a good book, a magazine, a good conversation with a friend, watching a sunset..ANYTHING. It truly does help to get up and get out - even if out is only your front door or a different room.

    It takes a lot of work to know what works for each of us. It takes a lot of strength to take that first step to do something. I do know however that some feelings are hard to change and we have no control over them. I've been there - very recently.

    I would suggest that if people aren't afraid of taking medications that anti-depressants can definitely make a world of difference. I don't know about the natural methods but obviously there are some.

    I have recently felt like it would be so much easier not to be here. I have children, a loving husband and parents whom I love dearly. I can't leave them. But it sure isn't fun living a miserable existence. I miss being happy. I miss being excited about life. I miss so many things.

    We are all in this together, thank Goodness. That is one very wonderful thing. We have each other, when the days are the darkest, when we need someone to shed a little bit of light on our lives, when we need our hands to be held, although we can't feel it physically.

    Sorry for my long post....