Feeling really lonely lately, maybe it's because it is Thanksgiving and the dreaded Holidays are here, they always show up like a bad penny. I do have things to be grateful for, for example a full time job, a few friends, but very little family. My father died suddenly last year and things have just been difficult. I live with my 80 year old mother who can be an emotional roller coaster most of the time, other times we can get along. I do not have kids or a spouse and at times I am so glad I don't because my FM is just too demanding of me phsically, emotionally, etc. But, at other times I feel like my life is just not what I wanted it to be, I know a lot of people feel this way and I am not the only one. My moods with FM can be so up and down, just depending on flare ups and all. One of the most hardest things, believe it or not, is that people comment on how nice I can look, or some family members and friends comment on how healthy I look and although these are some very nice things to say, my inner body screams pain, fatigue, exhaustion, memory problems and ultimately as a result of all of this, depression and lonliness. Some family members say if I can only "find" that special guy, everything will be better. I have been through a few relationships that just didn't work out, and the end result was more FM flare ups, the emotional difficulties of a relationship that doesn't work out results in more problems for me. Oh, by the way, I do not entirely believe finding a special someone will make everything better, where do people get this idea? Maybe it is just the Holidays, or maybe I am going thru the change, which I dread, (I'm 44), or maybe it is just another nasty flare up, which always makes me feel more vulnerable to people and a mild depression can take over me. Just needing to vent. Hugs, Chelz.