Well I'm in crazy pain because of everything that has recently happened but I'm still excited anyway. Well first of all I should explain that I have this problem. I don't love myself. I never really have. I feel guilty for all the good things that happen in my life. I feel guilty for having such an amazing fiance who is so in love with me it can make me weep just looking at him. I feel guilty when I take a bubble bath sometimes! Having this fibro has been hard but at the same time a small piece of me thinks "well fine, I deserve it." But that's going to change. I've been in therapy for a while now. Which I think all of us should do at some point or another. We have so much to deal with, it's fantastic to have a person to just let out all the frustration, anger, sorrow etc..and get wonderful positive feedback. But my point here is this. I'm making a change. A big one. I'm moving out of the apartment for a little while, staying with my mother. My poor fiance is having a hard time understanding this. But I need to do something to better myself. To make me feel good, even though I'm physically feeling like crap everyday. The least I can do is try to make myself emotionally well. I have a lot of issues that I won't get into here, but the whole point of this change is to try to overcome them. I simply can not do that while living with my fiance, being with him. I can not involve him in this experience as much as I want to. I just can't. It's breaking my heart to leave, even though it will only be for 3-4 weeks but this is just so huge. This is something that can make my life better, make ME better. I Just had to come here and share my excitement with everybody. We all need to do something like this at least once in our lives. Make a leap for something greater. I think this will also help my fibro. I have so much emotional stress 24/7 because of the issues I have...it makes my pain so much worse than what it has to be. So seperating myself from my fiance for a little while. Being on my 'own' and just doing a good selfish thing is going to be a hard, but amazing change. Just had to share. Thanks for listening.