Don't know if I should threaten to get my attorney involved!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by pamela, Mar 21, 2003.

  1. pamela

    pamela New Member

    First I need to explain my boss wont do anything about this...he is just as low class as these people are and is a coward. Second Ive been told I could be sent home without pay-medical leave..I work for the state!!!

    Here goes...ive written on these girls before and I need some quick advice. I was in a wreck 3 years ago and it left me with permanent damages...all damage on right side - foot, ankles, knee, right wrist and left wrist. FMS started 6 months after...really bad. I work 40 hours a week. This past December I had all the plates and metal/screws out. These girls have it in for me at work and they pick on me for everything. They dont talk to me and they talk about me in front of me and try to hide it. They look for things to get mad at me about and run tell my boss and act like im the employee that is doing bad here at work. I have been here for a year. It has been hell here but im looking to get transferred out of this dept in August. I HAVE TO STICK IT OUT!! If we have one more meeting about whatever they are ticked off at (always frivelous things) I want to threaten to call my attorney and file suit on them for harrassment and insubordination. These girs are the best of friends and ca-hoot over in high school. They gossip, and start trouble. My boss wont do anything about it. He says he won't get involved or in the middle of it. I on the other hand sit here and take it and get even more stressed out and the FMS starts up really bad...cant sleep and just get plum all upset over it. Most people will and can blow it off..but me...well..I do have a heart and a conscience. I was one of the ones that replied on the post this week about being sensitive. I dont think im being sensitive over this. But I could be wrong!! This is starting to get real old!! You may ask why dont you find another job? Well my insurance is awesome and I cant get my meds w/out it and there are no jobs due to the war at least not with good insurance. My hubby is contract labor and does what he can. So Im thinking that the next time it starts to blow up I will happen to tell them I have a attorney and if they dont stop it im going to call him and get him involved. Any suggestions? This is so bad and so frustrating and it really gets me going. I can feel the hurt and flare going on inside me right NOW and then I start to really hurt physically all over. Im so mad!!! Im so mad my face is red and hot like I have fever!! They are mad today about me putting on my leg cast because I hurt...A girl in the pharmacy is out today and its up to one of us 3 to go and sub for lunches and breaks. I did 3 hours this morning and im hurting real bad!!! I also did it all by myself for 8 months injured like this and they would not help out. My boss says he hired me to do this on my own but I found out from another upper level employee that this was discrimination. Since that talk with that upper employee she went and talked to my boss and now they have been having to help out now and it infuriates them. They want to sit up in the other office and do nothing. HELP!!! Should I threaten them with my attorney? That if they dont stop the crap im filing a laws suit for harrassment!!! They get away with murder up here always on personal phone calls, taking long breaks and lunches, one girl brings her knitting up here and knitsm, leaving early without claiming the time... etc.... HELP!!! Totally messed up about this...Thanks... a very worn out and confused Pammy

    [This Message was Edited on 03/21/2003]
  2. Kathryn

    Kathryn New Member

    Go buy a tiny recorder with a loooooooooong record time. Get them on tape, because it will become a case of your word against theirs, and there are 3 of them.
  3. pamela

    pamela New Member

    Please bump...desperate and in major FMS pain from the stress!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. pamela

    pamela New Member

    replying!!! I will do what you said. Anymore replys greatly welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!! torn up Pammy
  5. dacer

    dacer New Member

  6. missvickielynn

    missvickielynn New Member

    I can feel your anger, hurt, frustration and sense of feeling trapped! I know from painful personal experience what it is like to have time invested in a job, to have insurance benefits that you are in dire need of, and to feel trapped in a job where you are being bullied.

    After going through this kind of thing for 7 1/2 years, in addition to dealing with these DD's, and caring for my mother who was sick and dying as well......I was fired for excessive absenses.

    I had begun to investigate my rights during the last 2 months I worked there. It is a long story that I won't bore you with, but the only thing I will add is that I let it go on for so long that I was literally beaten down to the point that I was too ill and weak to defend myself. I know I should have pursued it through EEOC....but I was in such bad shape, I baredly saw the light of day for 3 months after they fired me.

    My three biggest mistakes were:

    Going for "counseling" through the Employee Assistance Program! Boy, was I naive! Everything that was discussed in my sessions, which are, by law, supposed to be held in the strictest confidence, were revealed to my employers.

    Not contacting EEOC.....even before they fired me.

    And the worst mistake was using the company computer and not only looking up information about my rights, but talking about what was going on in my emails. I was an idiot!

    Take all the advice you have been given here! Document everything in a notebook that you take home with you at night. Don't talk about the problems with anyone at work, because it WILL get to the ears of people you don't want it to, and it will come back to haunt you. If you are called into meetings, insist on a personnel manager, or other "impartial" person, sit in on the meetings. And take notes of anything that is said to you in meetings, and repeat things that are said to you back to the speaker when you write it down, just to "make sure you are understanding them".

    Another thing I would advise is that you do a web search on "Workplace Bullying". But don't do this on a computer at work!

    I am so sorry that this goes on so often. It really is an epidemic......and not just in the US. And it is something that has become a serious problem within the last 10 years. There is legislation being proposed and passed to deal with this kind of thing.

    In the what you can to protect yourself, but also ask God to take away some of the anger and stress response. This is nearly impossible to do in the midst of the situation, but if you don't figure out ways to not let it eat you alive, you will end up like so many others.....too ill to defend themselves. If you do some searching about this on the internet, you will find that people end up with FMS, PTSD, and other illnesses due to workplace bullying!

    You are in my prayers!

  7. PatPalmer

    PatPalmer New Member

    My sister was in this very situation for many many years, she ended up going sick for 6 months with depression.
    Returned to work, and after having a long consultation with her boss, he helped her change departments to a job she absolutely loved.

    She now has cancer and it isn`t looking good. - I`m sure the long term stress is the cause. it seems now at the age of 52 she is going to die.

    I really am not looking for sympathy as we unfortunately fell out 2 1/2 years ago and she is not interested in making up so I just have to deal with that. I get all my info through my parents.

    She has always been the stressful type and worries about everything so if it`s in your nature, no can do.

    My advice to you is try and let it go, the battle and stress will prolong and make you worse. For the sake of your health, is it worth fighting these ignorant b*****s.

    My daughter has CFS and I nursed her back to good health after 2 years. She was in a job as Office Junior with 4 others who sound identicle to the girls in your office.
    She had to leave because of the stress which brought on the CFS again with Mycoplasma Pneumoniae. Back to square one.

    I know it`s easier said than done, but look after No 1 here, your health is in your hands, take control of that instead, and look after yourself. These people do not matter, and simply not worth the fight.

    I`m a great believer in Karma, and have seen for myself that what you give out comes right back.

    With their attitude, unless they grow up they`ll end up sad lonely. Be content with that knowledge and move on honey.

    Love Pat.
  8. pamela

    pamela New Member

    I will surely take all info here and apply it. I have started a journal on this miserable stuff but im afraid that if I have to go before a committe or file w/ the EEOC I wont get transferred to the other dept. for fear of sabatoge!!! Im afraid the other managers will see me as a trouble maker or someone that cant get along with people. I do get along with everyone else in that building. They all say hi to me and talk feeely with me and I know they like me. Im even afraid these girls are going around behind my back and sabatoging me. I dont have proof but they are definitely the type!!! On the sabatoge thing it would be also from my own boss which is neurotic and angry and not that it matters... but is gay. Some gay guys have this anger and hot headedness that is wierd. They just get ticked off at the slightest thing!! Know what I mean? And I think the upper level and lower level employees pick up on this and its intimidating to them. He fights everything!!!! He even got a $10,000 year raise this last year by threatening to quit if he did not get it. And he got it. I think he knows if they dare confront him on anything he could backlash with some type of intimidating gay violation rule or something..and he also threatens to quit. I hope Im not offending anyone here... not all gay people are like this and im not generalizing. He is definitely messed up though. MORE RESPONSES PLEASE!!! Much thanks to everyone !!!! A very stressed and baffled Pammy
  9. pamela

    pamela New Member

    Bump please I need this help so I feel really weird and stressed and I cant take anything due to chemical reactions to meds!!! Pammy
  10. sofy

    sofy New Member

    Pam I have no real advice except from the human view point. You are right to be afraid complaining. Everyone is overworked and overstressed and when they see complaints most often they do not see if they are valid or not. They just see more trouble for them. I agree with the taping and all the documenting but when you do take notes how you word it is very important. If you say they are all mean to me it sounds whiney. If all the documententation is worded to show how your positive steps to help failed it will make you look better.
    I am not sensative so I am not able to completely put myself in your shoes. I always find it empowering to find a way to make a positive out of any negative situation. If I manage to fool them and they dont know more power for me. If the waitress is surly I make a game to see how many minutes it takes me to get a laugh or smile out of her. Dont laugh, this works for me. If you really feel it is in your best interest to just hold out till August these little tricks might help but certainly do you documentation as a back up. Just dont let writing it all down drag you down into a well of more focus on how bad you are being treated. Private counceling could help you hang on till August. If nothing else it would be a place to take all the stress and leave it and you might get pointers on how to not only survive but thrive till August. One important question you need to ask yourself. Is is more important for someone to asknowledge that you are being mistreated or for you to last till August. This is a hard question but will be very helpful to you in you approach to a solution. I wish you peace and joy.
  11. pamela

    pamela New Member

    I do agree with all you said. Yes I will not be whiney as these incidents are single handed pure hatred towards me and my job. I will apply everything that all of you have said to me. It is a situation of weighing the consequences. But if I dont get transferred I will have all this investigation and abuse in writing and... then!!!! Then I will make my move...kinda like President Bush did with this war. Get the ducks lined up!!! I did not know how to do it as now I have the EEOC and Human Resources to check out and all the documentation. This advice from everyone has been a God send... literally. I will pray and pray hard... and I will go and do my job and show up like always on time and be a great employee as I always have done...and let them not get the best of me. I have just finished 4 hours of documentation and editing. Thank you all and ANY MORE INFO WOULD BE GREAT!!! This feed back makes me feel more at ease. Its hard to go to work everyday and walk on eggshells and kiss B**ts. Know what I mean? Kiss B**ts when your being slapped in the face. Being made fun of. No team work...and a boss that does aboslutely nothing. Thank you all!!! My stress and fear is a bit better..Now the thing is when and if I have to take 'em down..that's the stress, fear and intimidation that will kill me.

    A bit better Pammy
  12. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

    Everyone has given you wonderful information. It is a lot to think about and to know what you need to do. I think you should weigh all your options and document everything that happens from now on, and take it to God. Good luck Pammy and better days are coming your way!! Love, Deb

    P.s. I lost your email address when my harddrive crashed last weekend. Please drop me a line.