Dont Know What to do About A Date Tonight

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by gabdeb, Jan 14, 2006.

  1. gabdeb

    gabdeb New Member










    Ill start at the beginning. I dated this man who I was really attracted to 6 yrs ago. We stopped when I found out his divorce was not final, even thou he had bought a new house and was living separate, i have a thing for people with children to do everything they can to get back together, so i just wanted out of the picture for awhile.

    He called when it was all over, but i was busy . havent really dated much at all for the last several years.

    Anyways we went out a last minute thing this new years eve. we had so much fun and i told him to call in another six years cause that was our last date, new years eve 6 yrs ago! just kidding him. anyways he called the next day. He wants to go out tonight and i dont know what to do. Ive felt terrible all week and in tears yesterday because of the toothe ache along with bad flare.

    He doesnt understand what fibro is. He didnt know so I just said at the time its kind of like arthritis but not and he said oh i have that and we changed the subject cause i didnt want to get into it. I dont really want to start anything because i feel bad so often and my house is a mess and he is a neat freak and i owned my own busniess as he does and now i am totally broke. i dont know what to do cause i hardly ever met someone i really want to go out with, timing is just wrong, but i dont know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions, or should i just not go and explain to him about fibro and tell him ill call when they find a cure!Ha
    help
    deb
  2. gabdeb

    gabdeb New Member

    I was just reading about your surgery. I wish i lived close so I could help you. Everything will turn out good. I will be praying for you. Your such a fun person, I should of known you would tell me to go. You dont seem to let much stop your fun when you can and I admire that about you. Thank so much and i will be thinking about you.

    deb
  3. gabdeb

    gabdeb New Member

    I will take your advice and let him decide after i tell him about it. Thank you so much. Ill let ya know.
    deb
  4. Sbilek

    Sbilek New Member

    Gabdeb, I'd go ahead and give it a stab. My philosophy is in this life, you need to hold on to every moment of happiness you can get.

    When I first went out with my husband over 20 years ago on our first date, I had a good time, but told him not to call me ever again as we were just too different. He, too, was a neat freak, and I am on the other end of the spectrum.

    Well, we dated for seven years, and have been happily married ever since.

    As far as the divorce thing, I understand what you're saying, but that was six years ago.

    The divorce was really final, right? That can be easily verified, if you're not sure.

    But if he's a nice guy and you guys have fun together, what the heck, go for it. Everything else will either work out or won't, but it's kinda like playing the lottery, you know, if you never buy a ticket, there's no way to win.

    Sbilek
    [This Message was Edited on 01/14/2006]
  5. ldbgcoleman

    ldbgcoleman New Member

    Why not tell him you want to take it slow. Just have a casual lunch for and hour or so to beigin with. become friends first. You don't have to stress or tell him every detail of your illness yet. Let things progress naturally. Don't worry about whether you are good enough for him but rather is he good enough for you! Lynn
  6. atiledsner

    atiledsner New Member

    In this day and time if a guy takes you out they get the feeling of ownership of their date real quick.Especially if they really enjoy your company.I say nothing happens by accident.Be real up front with him just like petals told you, then let him make the next move.I also agree with Elliespad,petalsinthewind did an excellant job of advising you .Go for the gold Baby!!!!!!!!
  7. ulala

    ulala New Member

    deb-now you have to keep us posted on what happens next!

    Hope it works out!
  8. grayfryer

    grayfryer New Member

    it seems that if the medicals are right that our feelings of pain through our receptors are amplified more than than the normal persons then i think this applies to our minds in the thinking process we seem to amplify our our negative thoughts in our mind to the point that we believe them so strongly and create a type of fear in our mind to the point that compared to the normals, we dont match up and they wont want to know us because of this and that they wont like us because they wont understand our illness as it has so many interferring factors,and the agitations it causes,what im probably trying to say is dont listen to your mind go with what your heart feels and that will help you overcome your apprehension.
  9. gabdeb

    gabdeb New Member

    I went and had a good time. First he called and we talked on the phone for about 2hours! THat man can talk. Then he asked if I would like to just go to his house and watch a movie since my tooth was hurting, actually it quit hurting when i was talking with him. And I do know him small towns here so I did go to his house.

    It was beautiful, and spotless. He put the movie in and I dont remember any of it. We talked so much and laughed. Thanks so much everyone and petalinthewind. I tried saying it like you but it didnt come out as well as you said it but I think I got the point across. He would ask me questions every once in awhile.

    He called me this morning and asked if he could come by before he went to his brothers birthday party (which he invited me to last night) So he came by and saw my messy house and all and played with my dog. Told me he is going to call tomorrow.

    Okay this is a bit to much. But Im having fun. Ill quit worrying now, he knows about fibro, but I know just telling people they really dont get it totally. Ill just let what happens now happen. At least I had fun, something different than Ive had for awhile. Thanks everyone!

    deb
  10. ldbgcoleman

    ldbgcoleman New Member

    MAybe someone new in your life will take your mind off of your FM. You deserve to be loved! Enjoy yourself! Lynn