Hi everyone. Okay, so this is the first time I have ever logged onto a site like this and im not sure what to do but here goes... I am 22 years old and live in Australia. I am attractive, athletic, I have a great boyfreind, a great job and on the outset, nothign could be better. But its far from it. Whenever my boyfreind and I have an argument, I feel like I want to die. I dont want to kill myself, but I Just dont want to live anymore. I am over it. Ive tried to talk to my boyfreind about it, he is genuinely concerened but sometimes just gets mad and tells me to 'just go and do it, stop talking about it.' 6 years ago my mother died of bowel cancer. I was well educated with a nice big house and a brother and sister. My dad, an alcoholic, shortly after my mother died got engaged and I moved out, being 18 yrs old with my grandmother. My dad then never spoke to me again, put my young sister into foster care and left with my brother, I still dont know where he is. My brother and I were close too, but now I dont hear from him either. My little sister since then has turned to drugs, alcohol and is in constant trouble with the police. I decided to move intersate with my boyfreind to get a new start on life. He has a loving family and no problems at all. I moved interstate 5 months ago and I hate it. Ive lived in a terrible place and training for my new work location was draining and stressful. It took it out on my relationship, my boyfreind has broken up with me several times and got back with me straight away. Im so scared of losing him, ive lost everyone. I have close freinds in my old state but I cant tell them about how i feel. I have seen a psychologist but cant tell them how i really feel because of my job. If i told them, Id most likely loose my job and get locked up in some mental institution. I dont know what to do. My boyfreind is so easy to break up with me, he has given up on us. I dont want to loose him but if I do, what else is there to life? I have no one. I am nothing. Please help me.