Don't Mean To Be A Complainer...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rkidd3423, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. rkidd3423

    rkidd3423 New Member

    but I just can't help it. I truly feel like giving up most days. It's getting harder and harder to stay positive anymore. I don't have the energy to think anymore. My "feel good" days are fewer and farther between. It's just so frustrating because I want to lay in bed and never get up!!! I'm sorry I'm such a complainer but it makes me feel better to vent!

  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    We have all had days, and especially, nights, where we feel like giving up and giving in. I've had some prolonged flares where I'm like this for days, even weeks. I once had a shrink who told me that it's OK to simple survive sometimes. I go into my survival mode, take my meds and go to bed. I pray for healing and I pray in thanksgiving that I have a warm, soft bed in which to rest.

    I've been so bad off that I hoped I would go to sleep and not wake up. Now, when I've felt that way, I go into what I call my "gray zone." I don't wish anything. I simply exist so the flare can pass and I will get through it. Flares usually pass but when we are going through them, they are truly horrible. Trying to keep sane is the challenge.

    Do you have the meds and treatments to help you? Do you have a good doc? If you are getting worse, it may be time to find additional ways to help. Good luck to you and let us know how you are doing. We care.

    Love, Mikie
  3. harboreen

    harboreen Member

    Good for you!
    so that you're not the only one I think I'll complain right along with you- if you don't mind.
    I don't know if I'm any good at this complaing stuff because Lord knows I have never ever complained before- well -
    not before 5am that is...hehhheeee
    because I'm usually asleep at that time.
    Okay hopefully I've made you giggle at least- hey we all NEED to complain and this is why were here isn't it? So what ever gets you through- right!? right!
    Now ..
    I have to go make something for my husband for dinner before he starts to complain! yikes!
  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Find something to laugh at. It really is the best medicine.

    Love, MIkie
  5. harboreen

    harboreen Member

    I'm so glad to see that you have a sense of humor......
    after I hit the reply I thought- Utto!
    What if this person takes the comment in a different way then I meant-
    you never know if someone will view your humor the way you
    meant it.
    I know when it's a bad day for me it's difficult to giggle- but I try try try..other wise I'll prob just break down and cry. I wont allow myself to do that- well- not too often. I know I am so much stronger than that. This is the one thing if nothing else this awful illness has made me/us...we are not wimps by far. It takes a tough person to deal with a bad casse of fibro.
    So to complain is to verbally let out what we need to let go of instead of crying.
    I wish you peace within and sunshine to warm your aching body.
    I really do hope you're having a better day today : )
  6. harboreen

    harboreen Member

    On a more serious note Rebecca... I am quite glad that you were honest in sharing how you truly feel, your words give valadation to how we too feel with this illness and also lets me/us know that we are not alone in our pain- we need to hear these words too- so thankyou for being YOU
  7. harboreen

    harboreen Member

    I think what you had to say was pretty TERRIFIC ; )
  8. rkidd3423

    rkidd3423 New Member's been a rough few days! First of all I would like to say that I am a person that has a great sense of humor and I am very open minded and I NEVER get offended so speak your minds and don't worry about me! :)

    I had a REALLY bad flare Monday and I was bedridden all day. I just don't see how I can keep this job. I wish I could afford to go on disability and get well but the way disability pays and the fact that you can't even get health insurance for 2 years makes NO sense whatsoever. Gotta' love the programs available out there! :)

    My daughter had shoulder surgery yesterday. She is 17. Her shoulder was much worse than they thought. Originally it was thought to be a slight tear or possibly a loose socket. Well, the socket was so loose that the shoulder had to be anchored down. The surgeon used 4 anchors and screws. I was up with her a lot last night trying to help again...the pain is awful and I'm trying to sit here and work and keep my job.

    I found out yesterday my brother may have parkinson's disease. He has to go for an MRI of his brain Tuesday. He saw a neurologist yesterday and it doesn't look good. He lives in Florida and I can't afford to go seem him...nor can I travel 12 hours.

    Also, my exhusband came to the hospital yesterday after settling his dad in to his own hospital room. He has had several mini strokes and is not doing very well. They are running several tests on him. I am still close to my ex father-in-law and he has gone down hill since his wife passed away a little over 2 years ago.

    Please keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers. It's so much to handle right now.

  9. harboreen

    harboreen Member

    Hey Freida It's nice to meet you too!
    Thanks for the reply... and encouragement.
    Glad you re-thought my post, I certainly don't want to hurt feelings.
    There are times I can't even think straight with this illness let alone make sense....
    to put into words what I'm thinking or feeling can be difficult. So it's good to know that someone actually get's you.
    Have a good one!
  10. Saoirse3

    Saoirse3 Member

    I hope this will make you laugh. The other night I was in an awful mood, because I wasn't feeling well at all. I had already taken my nightly bath, taken my denture out and scrubbed and soaked it, and was lying on the couch, trying to get comfortable. I even yanked the blanket out from under my sleeping kitty, and in doing so, knocked over my husband's iced tea all over the rug. "Great!" I yowled. "MORE work!" He had listened to me all night and finally just said "Oh, bite me!" "Fine!" I shot back. "But you'll have to wait until I put my teeth back in!" Then we both realized how ridiculous that sounded, and started to laugh.

    But on a more serious note, we have been trying to deal with this, one daughter's bi-polar episodes, one daughter's PTSD, and our third daughter has been unemployed with no money and two small kids for 3 years. And trying to cope with this DD, liver disease, diabetes and osteoarthritis has had me feeling like I am double-clutching through life. Sometimes I think, "I can't die today! I have 18 years of sleep to catch up on!" Just worry about one day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time. And MAKE yourself smile. It feels good and people wonder what you're up to!

  11. rkidd3423

    rkidd3423 New Member

    I'm not doing well at all. My life is in shambles. I have a lot of personal issues that I really can't even go in to. I think that's why my health is so much worse. I just hope that I can make it through the next few months and begin to be positive! Thanks for making me laugh!!!

  12. harboreen

    harboreen Member

    I remember thinking I'd be able to go back to work too and I also got worse. That was 14 yrs ago! I do get periods where I'll feel better but my "better" means not flaring. Ever notice when we say "better" how some people think we're "all better" or cured even! Hey' no one even mentioned half of that word so back up with your thought's!
    I was finally feeling decent enough to go to dinner with some friends and would you believe I was told all I needed was a big glass of wine, maybe I wouldn't have pain! Yea right! AND Why is it that people think that we should do MORE and we'd feel BETTER? Yea right so if I kick you where it hurts maybe it'll hurt less if I kick you again! How 'bout this- remember while you were going through that year of unexplained overwhelming fatigue? Did I suggest you drink a big ole glass of wine OR take a lap around the block and you'll feel energized! Honestly! Grrrrrr......
  13. luigi21

    luigi21 Member

    In the words of John Lennon (sort of).
    "You may say your a complainer,
    but your not the only one,
    i hope someday science will solve this
    And the world will live as one."

    yes, you must get it out, issolation is not good for us. your not alone, when you are awake, most of us are awake with you, when you are in pain so are we, and when we speak of pain we mean, nerves yanked out of our spine pain, we mean like all our muscles are sore and ulcerated pain, like our nerves are raw and made of electric pain, and a deep deep aching pain where our arms are too heavy for our body. when your've spent the night to and from the toilet we could of done a 1026 mile marathon between us, when your sitting awake for no reason like a vampire while the rest of the world sleeps so are we, and when you spend the next day walking around like a zombie, we're right with ya walking into our own doorframes. when your fed up of waking up and starring at the bloody ceiling to the same old crap health day so are we.
    But with some sharing, maybe we can get through this thing, because you guys and girls are the only ones who know how bloody awful this thing can be, until your next 'up' day, i hope we get eachother through the down ones. Don't issolate and Thanks for sharing xxx

  14. harrysmom

    harrysmom Member

    I don't have anything to add, but I wanted to say, Mikie, that I do just what you described when I'm at my worst. And, somehow, eventually, the Worst passes and becomes Bearable and just Bearable sometimes changes to Good or at least for a short time and for those times I am so thankful. And as I just lay in bed when it's the worst I thank God I have only pets to care for and not sick kids, a roommate/friend that makes sure there's food in the house and a sympathetic ear, and escape opportunities like books, DVD's, TV, computer, telephone to take my mind off what has been for me, for 16 years, a lonely, scary, infuriating theft of what used to be MY LIFE. I am also thankful I have two drugs, Xanax and a pain killer, that seem to help me cope with all this.

    Thinking of all of you who have been dealt a really unfair hand. When you feel the worst do as Mikie suggested and don't beat yourself up about just "being" for periods of time. Things usually pick up and get somewhat more bearable.

  15. Allen

    Allen Member

    Dear Rebecca.....sadly, welcome to the club. How can you, me or anyone with this brutal disease not complain and feel horrible. No one knows how awful it is to have so many terrible symptoms.....24/7 head-to-toe pain, weakness, dizzy spells, loss of short term memory, loss of balance and crashing into walls, doors and furniture. Don't stop venting....we are all here for you.
  16. rkidd3423

    rkidd3423 New Member

    Reading all of the posts really does make me feel better! I was having a down day but for some reason knowing I'm not alone gave me some comfort. I hope no one finds that odd...

    I got my kids back this week. I have them every other week. Even though it's exhausting, it does help me keep my spirits up a little. My daughter had shoulder surgery last week and it's been tough so far this week too. Try to help a 17 year old take a bath! I also have to wash/condition her VERY long hair! I'm just glad I'm still able to do it even though it makes me cry in pain!

    Thanks for welcoming me to the club...even though it's not a club I really wanted to be a part of! LOL! :)

    I hope everyone tries to have a great day and keep the posts coming...especially the humerous ones!

  17. rkidd3423

    rkidd3423 New Member

    The sad thing is...the wine just gives me a headache the next day and then that's 1 more thing that hurts!!!! LOL!

  18. harboreen

    harboreen Member

    This way of thinking really annoys. I suppose this way of thinking will never change.
    Another thing I don't care for is when someone ask how I'm doing and I tell them, they'll agree saying they know because they have the same thing going on-well, okay, maybe they do but they don't think of how much more painful these things are to us with fibro. This tells me they don't get it, not at all.
    I don't mean to belittle anyone in pain. I try to explain but they say "pain is pain" Then don't ask me questions! I guess I should answer with - not as bad as you! lol
    This particular person always has something worse going on and nothing is worse then theirs! And of course they don't take pain meds- they just push on!
    And so I bite my tongue - again.

    hope you're having a good day.
  19. harboreen

    harboreen Member

    LOVED your post.. brought me close to tears.
    I sat at my 8 yr old grandsons baseball game last evening in such raw aching pain in my shoulders and upper back- don't know how I do it- and yet there was a person sitting not far from me who was worse than me- so she claims- yet she is a normal.. this hurts my feelings even tho I say it doesn't, it hurts because all I have ever asked for is understanding, never ever pity no no no! just try to understand how my life is when I say I can't make it to go shopping with you just because you see me sitting here now doesn't mean I'm fine.
    How to deal I still after all these years do not know other than to say no...
    thanks for the invite but I can't make it.

    I was looking at my ceiling last night!
  20. harboreen

    harboreen Member

    Great post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!