Don't Understand

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by billsma, Mar 7, 2002.

  1. billsma

    billsma New Member

    I pray every day, I do have faith but I don't understand when I hear God never gives more than you can handle. I'm 61 & my whole life has been a heartache. As a child I had a sick father & a weird grandmother. I married a maniac to get out of the house, that I 'm still paying for w/his children, a daughter who is a drug addict & very sick, I raised her son who is chronically ill. Got married again the man got melanoma & is not well. Have full responsibility for my 89yr old mother who has always been demanding. It just never ends. I know alot of this was my choice but my choices were clouded by my not thinking right half the time. Also nobody else ever offered to help so I felt God would want me to do some of those things. I just get depressed feeling like I wish I knew what it was like to have a peaceful, healthy, quiet life. Please pray for me Thanks, Joy
  2. Harmony

    Harmony New Member

    Joy, I want to welcome you to the Worship Board and it is nice to meet you!

    Sometimes we don't understand why so many difficult things happen to one person and life just doesn't seem fair. You have certainly had your share. You must be a very special person to give yourself to help so many people. In the end, you will be greatly blessed.

    "God doesn't give us more than we can handle...."
    What I take that to mean is he doesn't give us more than we can handle WITHOUT PROMISING TO BE THERE TO HELP US THROUGH IT. It doesn't mean we will not have these difficulties in our life, it just means if we give the burdens over to him, our burden will be lighter. I will pray for you, joy. You have a beautiful name. I pray that God will give you the "joy" in your life that only He can give.
    Harmony
  3. Cactuslil

    Cactuslil New Member

    Sounds as if the dynamics that led you to where you presently are, have you questioning on one hand and becoming a little bitter, perhaps, on the other. Your position is not one to be envied that is for sure!

    Parts of what you said remind me of my 27 year old daughter who moved in with me in July of this past year. It saddens me that she has taken this on while at the same time I am eternally greatful she did; I could not manage if she did not. I still have as much to do in the way of homemaking as before, but just having her physical presence here is reassuring to me and my nine year old son. (I am 52).

    That role of caregiver is a tough one. I moved back here eight or so years ago to be here for my parents (I am an only child) not realizing that my symptoms were more than the effects of having a baby in your forties.

    Pray. Be certain you are following the path Heavenly Father wants you to be on. Ponder and pray; fast and pray. He has the answers and the comfort you so vitally need. As I look back on my life I have asked the question.....will I ever live a life anywhere like the life I lived prior to having my dearly loved son. I am beginning to doubt it and I stand in amazement at different sisters and brothers who have found answers in living and doing what the Savior has laid out for them to do. The choice is always ours. Goodluck and hope to chat again. CactusLil'
  4. billsma

    billsma New Member

    You all are good people & I thank you so much for answering me, it made me feel good, not so alone. I fight w/myself not to have certain feelings, I have felt that maybe I was cursed, I was upset by people I see who have everything, money, health, everything going their way & they don't even go to church or care about others. I realize this is the devil talking to me & try to fight it. It just gets scarey sometimes, I also have another daughter who was doing good & found out she has MS. I'm told my grandson can get the help he needs but I need 28,000. which I don't have. Just found out the youngest daughter has aids, sometimes it feels like it never stops. I still pray because I have to feel close to God but sometimes I get mad at him too. Your wonderful, caring words have helped me. I will say when I'm down in spirit I usually see someone who has it worse. I feel like I have lost the connection to God, can't see where he's working in my life. Please pray to increase my faith, it was so strong at one time but life has weakened it.
  5. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Joy, what a strong lady you must be! You so touched my heart with your post here. We all have problems, some that we don't think there is an answer to also.

    But, you know you have made it this far, and as for bad choices, none of us can say that we didn't do the same thing somewhere along lifes highway.

    Before I was saved, I had a whole lot of trouble in my life, someone told me to read the Book Of Job in the Old Testment, so I am going to tell you to read the Book of Job. It made me realize that not one thing in my life was going unnoticed by God, that for His own reasons I had to go through what I did in order to really know HIM.

    Not long after that, I did heed the call of the Lord, and thats thirty three years ago now.

    My life was hectic too, full of problems, people, children, bad marriages,other concernes about etc. I lost a Mother, and a Father in a four month period of time, then I lost my younger brother who I adored, then a son-in-law in his early forties, in fact none of the above people ever saw sixty years old!
    All my aunts and uncles are gone. I have my husband, three children, two grandchildren, and I came from a large extended family! But I do have my Lord, and all these people left this world knowing Jesus as Savior, through the Lord calling me first.
    Without the Lord, I would not have made it through my Mom dieing at 59, must less the rest of my family. Why? yes, I have asked why of God many, many times, but I know they are all with Him, and I will know the answer when I too sit at His feet in heaven someday. Then I will understand it all.

    But you know, it all worked its self out through the years. I give the credit for that to a merciful God, who loved me, and allowed the trials and tribulations in my life to bring me where I am with Him today, other than His calling, I would not know what would have happened to me and my children.

    Yes, I have been angry with God too!! I have got on my knees many times and screamed at Him, with Why ME???

    I will pray for you to trust, for Him to give you strength, and most of all to give you the Joy of The Lord in your life.

    It is time you have the peace you crave.

    God bless you richly, and please come back as often as you feel a need to. Most of us here check this board everyday, even when we don't go to the main board.

    Again, welcome and I am sure the Lord sent you here.

    Shalom, Shirl
  6. billsma

    billsma New Member

    Thanks for your kind words. I too was saved about 5yrs ago along w/my husband & grandson. I don't expect everything to go great everyone has problems & you have had your share. I think I'm scared which I don't like it seems like everything I try to do turns out bad. My husband just tried to start a small p/t business w/another man to get us more $ & get out of debt. Well we bought a truck & put $ into it & now the other man found out he's going blind poor guy. I pray for him but it's just another example of everything we seem to try turns out to be a disaster. When things like that keep happening I get scared to do anything at all. I pray all the time to see Gods will in my life. Thank you so much for your prayers, makes me feel good.
  7. PBNJ

    PBNJ New Member

    After reading all of the above, I just have to shout "Praise the Lord" for this wonderful group of people!!!

    Joy, over the years I have come to realize that the people with strong character and depth... the people that I respect and love most are the ones who have gone through the most. Do not envy those beautiful rich people who live for themselves. The real "riches" to be gained in this life will not be received until we reach heaven. I suspect the Lord has rewards for you beyond your wildest dreams! Remember "the first shall be last and the last shall be first". You are a servant of others... the greatest among men! Praise God for you!!!

    He has brought me out of an abusive past... He IS faithful. He CAN carry you through these trials in your life and He WILL if you let Him. Don't try to do it yourself. Throw it all at His feet!

    I will be keeping you in my prayers!

    Love in Christ!
    Pam
  8. billsma

    billsma New Member

    Funny today I felt different, all of a sudden the feeling was so strong that God gave me the honor & picked me to raise my grandson. It was so hard these past 10yrs, he was sick, had traumatic stress syndrome & was so mad. There were times we didn't think we would make it but hung on. I always prayed like crazy that he would grow up to be a fine young man & he has. He has gone thru everything too & being so sick but is a fine christian boy, very gentle & does the right thing. I also got the feeling today that maybe if I got out of myself & helped other people like the homeless I would have more gratitude & be able to get thru my problems by reaching out to others. I got into a depression with everything going on & inside my own head which isn't good thats when I notice all the selfish people doing so good & get mad. It has to be all your prayers starting to work for me because it feels good inside me for a change. Thank all of you.