Doom, Gloom and Fearful Feelings of the Morning

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by greatgran, Jan 14, 2009.

  1. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I am not sure what is going on but for months when I awake I have this over whelming feeling of Fear, Doom and Gloom.. After I am up for a few hours it seems to fade but still left with a scared feeling. I take xanax which helps but doesn't take it away. By evening I seem to feel my best.

    Oh, I do awake with the fatigue, aches and pains but that doesn't bother me as much as the doom , goom, fearful feelings. I have found that if I get plenty of rest and don't have to leave the house for days I get to feeling some better but with my family days of rest are impossible.

    Thanks and God Bless,
  2. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Oh greatgran..
    Do you have anything to look forward to? Are each of your days running into the next?
    I know each of us are different, so I can only give you my own personal outlook of course. What do you do during the day? Do you have anything fun at all? Any hobby? I know that when I go through periods that all of my days just run together I find myself feeling worse and worse (mentally).

    I know you take Xanax, do you take anything else? Are you against taking an anti-depressant? Have you talked to your doctor about these feelings at all?

    Waking up that way cannot be any fun at all, and a rather rotten way to start the day!
    I so want you to feel better!!
  3. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Thank you for your reply. Yes, I guess my days do run into the next as with the CFS seems I can't plan anything . Today was my day to go do the church bulletins but I just couldn't make it. Sometimes I look forward to that and just getting out but felt to bad today with the nausea, aches and fatigue I couldn't make it.

    I have tried many antidepressants and can't tolerate the side effects . My doc says its just anxiety /depression but I am always looking for a cause . I do have a low T3 but he said nothing wrong with my thryroid since all the others were ok.

    There are a lot of family issues going on , still with my granddaughter and I try to help with the greatgrans. If I felt well then I could handle all this so much better and would have things to do and look forward to.

    Yesterday I got out , sat with my greatgran, then went to wal-mart so guess I am paying today.

    For some unknown reason the feeling of fear, doom and gloom seems to lift in the afternoon and evening, thank goodness. That is why I wonder if there is a physical cause, which could be CFS.

    Yes, it is a rotten way to start the day but could be worse. I do manage to tell myself this will lift as the day goes on.

    God BLess,
  4. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    You could have been describing what I go through and I don't think for me, it is depression, as once I am up for about an hour it disappears.

    The night before I think of things to do the next day and am actually looking forward to them, but when I wake up it does not seem worth it. It can take me up to two hours to be fully awake.

    What seems to help is if I do one thing at a time. I get my tea, thinking I can always go back to bed, then take my meds. which include Provigil. Then get on the computer. All the time I keep in mind that the next step I can go back to bed and also that it will probably lift. This probably works about 70% of the time. I think if I get to the last stage, the Provigil kicks in. But as many things it is much easier said than done.

    I have taken the Provigil, which does not make me hyper at all, and fallen back to sleep but I wake up feeling even sicker. However, if I wake up about two hours before I want to get up, taking a pain pill does seem to help.

    Sometimes I have to stop and think what day it is.

    Do you take an AD? I think it does help me in the mornings but obviously not completely. If you feel it is depression which is always possible, it might be a good idea to check that out.

    It seems like I have a hard time with transitions. At night I do not want to go to bed and in the morning I do not want to get up. I have always been that way and it is much worse since the DD.

    I don't think the weather helps.

    I think at least in my case it is situational depression in the morning.

    As for me, I am going to climb back to bed and read as it is a balmy minus eight degrees. Is it Spring yet?

    You take care.


    [This Message was Edited on 01/15/2009]
    [This Message was Edited on 01/16/2009]
  5. kat0465

    kat0465 New Member

    i too deal with this horrible feeling :( some days are worse than others, and i dont know why or what makes the difference. i take xanax, and it does make it better but when it's really bad it hardly takes the edge off!! mostly in the mornings also. i just wonder if the Low cortisol and DHEA thing in the A.M. is what does it. i recently noticed when i get up earlier than normal and i am feeling ok, but find myself falling back to sleep on the couch for an hour or so, it's REAL bad!! but lets face it some days you just cant stay up, it's hard to fight the whole package that comes with this DD! that in itself if exhausting.
    there are so many things i really want to do, but dont have the energy to do even a quarter of them, i think this also plays a of right now im on no anti depressants, just too scared to take them, like a lot of the hevy duty drugs :( i have recently filed for disability, and will probably start AD"s although i dont want to, i dont know what else to do!!
    sorry i have rambled as usual, just letting you know i think that darn feeling is common for us unfortunately. Maybe Spring will help!! i cant take the cold much anymore.{{ Hugs }} Kat
  6. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I am exactly the same way. If I wake up around 5 am I seem to feel ok, that is for me then I go back to bed and may dose off and when I awake i have the horrible feeling. I did have my cortisol checked ( the spit test) and my cortisol was very low of the morning and higher in the evening. When my doc did the cortisol with blood it was normal I am sure this was done later in the day as I can't make morning appointment. I too am scared of antidepressants because have tried them and the side effects are to bad. Thanks for your reply.

  7. mmztcass

    mmztcass New Member

    I have Graves' Disease so if the thyroid numbers are up just a bit, I can feel the doom and gloom and feel like something awful is going to happen. I'd then have to adjust my antithyroid drug to bring down the thyroid numbers for my labs and then I feel fine.

    Consider having the Free T4 and the Free T3 checked out together with the TSH.

    Take care... :)
  8. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    Greatgran, Oh, you are not alone with this one either. I have always feared doom and gloom with every waking morning, or at least I have for several years.

    One would think that this is very strange, BUT, when you wake up with fatigue, pain, stiffness soreness, the feelings of doom and gloom seem appropriate. Anyone who doesn't have these conditions wouldn't have a clue what we are talking about.

    It isn't just waking up and having to face the day, that can be normal for anyone to feel maybe a little stressed, especially if they have a stressful job or home life. But, it is way different when you add so many physical problems that wake with you and you must face your day. Your doom and gloom feelings can come from NOT physically feeling rested or well. Not feeling physically well in a world where we must still function on some level can cause despair.

    Mornings are the worst for me, and evening are a little better. I am fearful that I will not make it through the work day. Just this morning, I almost wimpered trying to get out of my warm bed to face the day, the feelings of anxiety can be awful.

    Even on Saturdays and Sundays when I do not have to go to work, I still wake up with the same feelings. Even if I plan to have a restful day, it doesn't much matter my FM is still there and it doesn't distinguish between a weekday or a weekend

    I'm glad you posted this, because although it may seem a little strange, it's a very very real feeling for some of us.

    The best thing that I can do is just to prepare myself for the next day is in the evening when I am feeling a little better, I pull out what I'm going to wear the next day, I boil an egg the night before so it is ready in the morning for my breakfast, if I have to make any phone calls for my mom (she's elderly) I get the phone numbers ready by my phone so I don't have to go looking for them the last minute. I try my best to prepare myself because I know my feelings of being overwhemed in the mornings are frequent.

    These are just trying to set yourself up for good habits so your feelings of doom are at least a little less. Good luck and hugs, Chelz.
  9. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    It's funny cause if I get up, then go back to bed in the morning (can only do this on the weekend) I actually feel worse. I have no idea why. I do better off if I stay up, then take a nap later on.

    Having something to look forward to - I don't mean going out somewhere necessarily, especially if that is taxing on you...something simple. Sounds crazy but I get a Word Jumble book for Christmas and I'm addicted to it. I can't wait to sit on my heating pad, wrapped in my blanket and get my book out with a nice cup of tea.

    Regarding AD's. I have had some rotten side effects as well. I can only tolerate Lexapro, but recently was prescribed Lamictal. It is often given to people w/bipolar, but also for people who can't tolerate other AD's. I must say I have noticed a huge difference!

    I had been going through some particularly rough months, a lot of crying (sobbing on the bathroom floor), a dark future - (couldn't see the light), tons of worry, feeling overwhelmed etc. Now I am really able to take things in stride and just not stress over things. The downside is that it takes about 6 weeks to get to the best dose, (slow titration), but it doesn't take that long to start seeing a difference. I was super hesitant to try it, but am glad I did!! I would still have said I wasn't reallly depressed, but just lacked ALL motivation, and was going through such dread of the days ahead, sick and tired of the never ending pain and fatigue etc.

    My T4 was off a tiny bit and I was just prescribed some meds to bring that up to a normal level. All my thyroid tests have always come out "fantastic" - well further digging revealed they could tweak some things. It's been too short of a time to see what the changes bring, but I have many of the symptoms of hypothyroid without the labs really showing it.

    I don't go anywhere but work. I still don't want to - no energy, no desire. I'd rather be home. (big homebody here!) I LOVE a day where I don't have to do anything, don't have to be anywhere etc. So I find my things that I look forward to at home. It doesn't matter if its' watching a good comedy or love story some afternoon, crossword or jigsaw puzzles, a FUN website to visit or participate in... then a nice well deserved nap.

    Maybe you can find something you can do at home that you enjoy.
    I've actually thought about learning to knit - that's so "in" now. I could make myself a nice big blanket. (and it would probably turn out awful! lol) Oh well, it would give me something to do while watching tv. I've also considered making beaded earrings, or something. That sounds like fun to me. What sounds fun to you?

  10. bakeman

    bakeman New Member

    i felt like this for 6 straight was the worst life i could imagine. a never ending nightmare. i was on 5 psych meds too and they didn't do a thing for it. it's like living in a constant flare. i would have these horrible feelings before i even opened my eyes in the morning, the feelings were there at the first nanosecond of consciousness after awakening. many times my first thought of the day would be to end it all. it normally took me 6 to 12 hours after waking to feel even just tolerable but still not well. my family dr told me to get off all the ad's and mood stabilizers because it was obvious they were not doing anything. so i went off all the drugs in a period of 1 month and i was no better and no worse.

    what has ended this horrible cycle for me was oddly enough, hydrocortisone (the stress hormone) i took it for 2 years. i have no idea how why or what it did but it cured me of this symptom you speak about. i stopped taking the drug 6 months ago and was fearful the depression would return but it has not. i still struggle and when i overexert myself i crash and get depressed but when i rest for 3 or 4 days i do OK again. mornings are still not great but they are 1 million times better than they used to be.

    [This Message was Edited on 01/16/2009]
  11. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Don't want to get off the subject but I also take Lamictal and it has really helped my AD work. I had a history of ADs wearing off.

    I also can not tolerate the SSNRI's but the SSNI I do fine with.

    All my thyroid tests checked out T3 and T4.

    But I can not say enough good things about the Lamictal. It has worked wonders for me.

    As for the "morning blues" I have always had them to some extent, they just got worse after this DD. I really think part of it is my sleep issues plus waking up not feeling well.

    I also can not eat the first couple of hours that I am up.

    Take care.

    Heres a toast for a little more energy for all of us.

  12. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Nice to know someone else is on Lamictal. How long have you been on it?

    Did you experience headaches every time you increased your dose. I would get headaches for 4 or 5 days, but now that I'm at the dose I'll be staying at, hopefully they'll go away - although I'm having more headaches than I've had in the last year.
    I take Topamax which is what is given for migraines etc. and it pretty much got rid of my headaches, so who knows why i have them again!

    It's really amazing the noticable change isn't it? I really wouldn't say I've been 'depressed', more of a situational depression and am definitely a worrier by nature. Of course, all of the crap with this DD is darn depressing!! The lamictal has made a huge difference!!

    Thanks for sharing your info with me! .....and sorry to get a bit off topic.
  13. kat0465

    kat0465 New Member

    How did you find out about the hydrocortisone thing?? im assuming they did a test and found you deficient?? and is there a specific blood test that you can suggest?
    i have a sneaking suspicion that most of my hormones are out of whack, and will be going to the dr soon i am hoping she will give me a trial run on some thyroid meds, and id like to find out about the hydrocortisone too! any info would be helpful. thanks, Kat
  14. bakeman

    bakeman New Member

    its a weird story. my sister also has cfs and she went to the fibro & fatigue center. they gave her hydrocortisone because their protocol is basically to always give their patients this. she decided not to take it because she was scared it might do more harm than good. i however was on doing very poorly and was only hanging on by a string so i took the pills out of desperation. its hard to describe what happened, when i first started taking it, (only 2.5mg a day) it was if there was heroin in the pills. i'm not exaggerating, i felt high for the first few days. over the next year i bumped up to 20mg. at that point i could take them without the high feeling.

    2 years later i experimented trying to get off them just in case i did' need the pills to function. i was scared because i didn't want to go back to how i used to be, but to my amazement i was able to taper off them without any problems. to this day no one can explain how hydrocortisone cured me. i think it had something to do with resetting some system in my brain in one way or the other. i probably would not be alive today if i never stumbled upon this. don't get me wrong, i'm still sick but i'm 1 miilion times better off now. and also not having to rely on and spending over $1000 out of pocket per month on psych drugs that did absolute zip.

    there is a test for adrenals but for my case i think my adrenals were fine but my hp-axis was messed up. some how the hydrocortisone fixed this????

  15. kat0465

    kat0465 New Member

    i am at that same jumping off point that you were when you took those hydrocortisone pills!!!lol. theres so many things to remember and so much info about the t3, t4, tsh, methel what ever protocol, that im CONFUSED!! i want so bad just to feel somewhat recovered, i'll try anything. im so sick of supplements, not to mention blood work, and all the other meds that im on i'm about to Puke!! and like you said the $$$$$$$$ for most stuff that does absolutely nothing but has sent me to the poor house and made me file for disability at 43, and i will probably be Denied!!!!!sorry to vent, it's a crappy day here in the neighborhood, no sun shining, cold, got that flu like feeling again...... sigh.
    But thanks so much for responding, guess i'll be asking my doc lots of questions, shes pretty cool tho and my let me give the hydrocortisone, and maybe some thyroid meds a try just to see what happens.thanks again, Kat
  16. bakeman

    bakeman New Member

    good luck with your dr. most dont understand our medical conditions, even the specialists. if your doc is not on board with letting you try it, you can buy it in supplement form. its called isocort and its approx 2.5mg/pill.

  17. kat0465

    kat0465 New Member

    OMG< you kidding me!!! i am on isocort,lol. see told you my brain dosent work, i didnt know cortisol & hydrocortisone were the same. i am on 30 mg isocort a day. Gyn prescribed it not the cfids doc who to my knowledge had never tested me for any of that.
    guess i wont be having the same reaction you did, although im glad your much better!!everyone is so different, we just have to keep mooving along trying this & testing that. Hopefully like i have been saying 09 will be a breakthrough year, heck theres too many of us, someone has got to do something!!!
  18. mmztcass

    mmztcass New Member

    Don't take it if you have Graves' Disease - overactive thyroid.

    Take care... :)
  19. MsE

    MsE New Member

    But usually instead of feeling fearful, I feel apathetic, dreading another day. Sometimes I have that fearful feeling, though, so I know what you're talking about, but it usually isn't an early morning thing.

    Usually I can trace the sense of fear to something like dying, which at times seems close. I think we've talked about that before. It's that old "I wonder if they are missing something that's going to kill me pretty soon because I feel half dead" feeling.

    I usually perk up a bit as the day goes on, but going back to bed in the morning is something I do, too. I'll wake at four in the morning, unable to sleep, so I'll listen to the radio or read or get up and go to the computer. Then go back to bed in an hour or two and sleep some more.

    It's like a shadow is following me, Greatgran. A dark shadow that kills life. The sun can't get through. Sometimes it is scary, but most of the time it leaves me apathetic about life.

    Then there are days when it all goes away and I feel human again. Yes. That's it. CFS is dehumanizing.
  20. SusanEU

    SusanEU New Member

    Yes, I feel horrible in the mornings, even though I take AD. I'm so stiff and tired, from tossing and turning all night, then I start worrying, what if this...what if that. I feel a lot better in the evenings, sometimes I'm even nauseous in the morning, which carries on througout the day.

    I feel better in the evening and sometimes just dread falling asleep because I know it will be anothe miserable night of tossing and turning and feeling horrible when the morning comes. It does seem to be a lot worse in the winter.

    Sure miss the old me.