Dr. Note

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by charisma1973, Mar 17, 2003.

  1. charisma1973

    charisma1973 New Member

    Instead of being at school like the good student today, I am at home paying for our spring break activities. My hips and legs hurt so bad I can't be still...can't sit, stand, lay.....Can't find anything to fix it.

    What really stinks is that the class I have today is a professor who says that his mother in law has FM/CFS, but he doesn't understand absenses. I had a complete (with BIG incision) hysterectomy 2 months ago and had to miss 2 weeks of school and then 2 weeks after my surgery my best friend who was like family to myself, husband and kids died, so I had to miss a week to help his family with things etc.

    My professor has threatened to fail me if I miss any more, but days like today I didn't even feel like I could make it to the kitchen to get water to take my medicine nevertheless try to sit through class....

    Do you think I could have my doctor send a note, an email, what can I do to make him understand? I am pulling a B in all my classes (which for me is not good-he knows I am an A student) so he knows something is going on, but he needs to know I really do have this and I am not just being lazy and wanting to "sleep in" or whatever

    Suggestions anyone?

  2. jeanderek

    jeanderek New Member

    I don't know if it would do anygood or not. I had a friend who failed a semester in school because he had sleep apnea(sp) and he had the Doctor documentation to back it up but they wouldn't change thier descision.
    I am assuming your in colledge??. For some reason they are not very understanding. I am sorry you are going through so much greif and I am sorry to hear about your friend. By your username I assume you were born in 1973? I too was born in 73 and I have FMS and a bunch of other health problems. I know what it feels like to go through so much at a young age, lost my dad 6 years ago and lost my grandparents as well. I started getting sick at age 22 but didn't become disabiling till about 5 years ago. Working on getting disability now. I hope that your other teachers are more understanding. I would do everything that I can to make him understand what your going through. Even though he knows someone with FMS that doesnt mean he is educated about it. I would print up some things off of the internet and show him what your going through. Definately get a doctors note.

    I hope that things work out, and know that your not alone.
  3. charisma1973

    charisma1973 New Member

    Thanks...I hope I can get it all done....I am in college and he is my advisor and the one that I take 90% of my classes with..I will try to get some info for him plus the dr. note. You would think as long as you get your work done and have a medical "condition" it would be discrimination to fail you because you are sick.... :(

    Yes, I was born in 73, I know what you mean with loss and sickness-I lost my twin in 89 and my mom 5 years ago, lots of stuff....email me sometime jwright29@cox.net

  4. jeanderek

    jeanderek New Member

    I hope that you have a good luck, I would maybe try and sit down and talk to him one on one if you havent already done it, see if he will let you do some work from home, in a more relaxed setting where you can take breaks when you need too. Assure him that you will be in class when your up to it and will make an effort to be there when you can.
    I am not sure if this will help in your situation or not but below is a letter to normals. It has been a great tool to use in helping my family understand just what it is I am going through. Again I wish you all the very best and I will talk to you soon.


    This might help you...A Letter To "Normals"

    Having FMS/MPS means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident , most people do not understand even a little about FMS/MSP and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually mis-informed.

    In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand......

    These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me....

    - Please understand that being sick doesn’t mean I’m not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit I probably don’t seem like much fun to be with, but I’m still me stuck inside this body. I still worry about school, and work and my family and friends, and most of the time I'd still like to hear you talk about yours too.

    -Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy" .When you've got the flu you probably feel miserable with it, but I’ve been sick for years. I cant be miserable all the time , in fact I work hard at not being miserable. So if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I'm happy. That's all. It doesn’t mean that I’m not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I’m getting better, or any of those things. Please, don’t say , "Oh, your sounding better!" I am not sounding better, I am sounding happy. If you want to comment on that, you're welcome. Please understand that being able to stand for ten minutes doesn’t necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes ,or an hour. And, just because I manage to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesn’t mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of disease you’re either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one it gets more confusing.

    -Please repeat the above paragraph substituting "sitting", "walking", "thinking", "being sociable" and so on.... it applies to everything. That's what FMS/MPS does to you.

    -Please understand that FMS/MPS is variable. It's quite possible (for me, its common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I'll have trouble getting to the kitchen. Please don't attack me when I'm ill by saying "But you did it before!" if you want me to do something then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel an invitation at the last minute, it this happens please do not take it personally.

    -Please understand that "getting out and doing things" does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. Telling me I need a treadmill , or that I just need to loose (or gain) weight, get this exercise machine, join this gym, try these classes... may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct....if I was capable of doing these things , don't you know that I would? I am working with my doctor and physical therapist and am already doing the exercise and diet that I am suppose to do. Another statement that hurts is, "You just need to push yourself more, exercise harder..." Obviously FMS/MPS deals directly with muscles, and because our muscles don't repair themselves the way your muscles do this does far more damage than good and could result in recovery time in days or weeks or months from a single activity. Also, FMS/MPS may cause secondary depression (wouldn’t you get depressed if you were hurting and exhausted for years on end!?) but it is not created by depression.

    -Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/take these pills now, that I do have to do it right now...it cant be put off of forgotten just because I'm out for the day (or whatever). FMS/MPS does not forgive.

    -If you want to suggest a cure to me, don't .It's not because I don't appreciate the thought, and it's not because I don’t want to get well. It's because I have had almost every single one of my friends suggest one at one point or another. At first I tried them all, but then I realized that I was using up so much energy trying things that I was making myself sicker, not better. If there was something that cured, or even helped , all people with FMS/MPS then we'd know about it. This is not a drug company conspiracy, there is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with FMS/MPS, if something worked we would know.

    -If after reading that, you still want to suggest a cure, then do it, but don’t expect me to rush out and try it. I'll take what you said and discuss it with my doctor.

    In may ways I depend on you....people who are not sick....I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out....Sometimes I need you to help me with the shopping, cooking or cleaning.

    I may need you to take me to the doctor, or the physical therapist. I need you on different levels...you're my link to the outside world...if you don't come to visit me then I might not get to you .

    ...and, as much as it's possible, I need you to understand me.

    Taken from www.fibrohugs.com