dumbest thing someone has said to you about your illness?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by charlenef, Nov 8, 2006.

  1. charlenef

    charlenef New Member

    sometimes people can be so rude and uncaring about what they say so i was just wondering some of your stories. i think the two that bother me the most is you look fine and just get up and exercise. dont you think i would if i could ? i always use to exercise. charlene
    [This Message was Edited on 11/09/2006]
  2. saintpaulia23

    saintpaulia23 New Member

    I think that is so common, yet so frustrating! It's part of the ignorance of the conditions.

    My husband especially will say "you need to exercise", "you should get a job" and "well, the lady I talked to(who also has CFS and FM) says you have to exercise every day" or "everything I've read says.."(he's read only a few things), or "I guess I have to go to work now"(said every morning just about), or "why can't you do it?"
    On rough days, he says, "you look great!' which is really sweet until you realize he's just trying to get me involved in his denial.

    Or my very favorite, when he says, "what's wrong?" and I reply that I'm tired, and he says, "why?"
    *imagine me hitting myself in head with hammer*

  3. Kryssie

    Kryssie New Member

    "Yea, I dont feel good today either, my (insert illness here) is acting up"

    "Drink more water, walk and stop taking all those pills they will kill you!"
  4. mrstyedawg

    mrstyedawg Member

    I thought that you would get better now that you have gotten rid of your exhusband.

    Aaarrrrrgh
  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    my boss used to say to me, "You're slipping into your old habits."

    And I would say to him (over and over), "Larry, I don't have any bad habits. I have a disability."

    A few years later he became disabled w/ a brain tumor. Didn't change his attitude about me tho.


    And then I have a disabled friend (bad back and chemical imablance) who tells me, "You need to exercise."

    I have stopped explaining I don't have the energy to exercise as the words don't seem to penetrate his brain.

    I now see nothing of one and little of the other.
  6. saintpaulia23

    saintpaulia23 New Member

    bar45628, I had forgotten about that. My husband does that, as well as most people.
    Especially, "I'm tired, too."

    Must. Not. Smother. In. Sleep.

    Grr.
  7. s--raquel

    s--raquel New Member

    I am close to a family member who has fm...so we relate and
    share alot of information,etc...

    after i was diagnosed with cfs...she said..:"HMMM, my fibro doc said she didn't believe in cfs...that it isn't a
    real diagnosis...?????????????

    HELLO!!!??? I couldn't believe that one...If she of all
    people was being closed minded and unbelieving?!? I felt
    so alone and frustrated and MADDDD!!!!

    I have sense copied much info from this site to share with
    her on cfs!!!!
  8. fmkitty

    fmkitty New Member

    You dont look sick and fibro is all in your head,WELL IF ITS ALL IN MY HEAD WHY DOES MY BODY HURT SO BAD,this was my reply,total silence after that this person changed the subject.fmkitty
  9. charlenef

    charlenef New Member

    when these things happens and i can total relate to what everyone is going through but while reading i had to chuckle at how stuiped some of these people sound. thanks for your input charlene
  10. gkrrt

    gkrrt New Member

    Thats the dumbest thing anyone has said to me, if I could suck it up and it would go away I would.....I wish people would think before the speak, but unless you live with a chronic illness day in a day out you really dont and never will understand......
  11. charlenef

    charlenef New Member

    my one friend tells me she has a tolerance for pain and that i should just push through the pain.needless to say my house is clean and hers is not so i dont know whos doing the pushing charlene
  12. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    A couple of my "favorites"

    My SIL who keeps saying...it sounds like Menopause.

    My mom who wants me to call 1-800-FixFibro or something that silly.

    When my husband looks at me and says...Why don't you do it?( IF I COULD I WOULD..after 27 years he should know that and not forget I am sick!)

    A rheumatologist who told me there was nothing he could do for me..and then hearing from my GP-that the rheumy thought I needed psychiatric care! Even the GP was surprised to hear that as he thinks I am dealing with fibro intelligently ( his words)

    At the end of it all...I am tired of people thinking..when I say that I am having a good day..that it means I am back to normal!

    UGH.
  13. Kryssie

    Kryssie New Member

    How about the classic

    "Oh! My _______ hurts too today!"
  14. Redshadow

    Redshadow New Member

    "Take Bee Alive from QVC it will cure you"

  15. STML

    STML New Member

    the first thing one doctor said to me, surprisingly a so-called childhood genius was, 'see..if this was a man he'd just get on with it!' Luckily I was too ill to shout, '..Erh no if this was a man the world would be ending' (n0 offence to all the strong men out there, but you know how men are with colds).
    Oh when I last saw a girlfriend she fired a tonne of questions at me, like,'you used to do soo much exercise', 'so what do u do all day'. 'why are u on a gluten-free diet, youve not got caeliac disease', 'can u not get a part-time job'.erghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  16. Liz919

    Liz919 New Member

    My mother supported me very much during my initiall illness and diagnoses. I was 13 so I guess she had to. Now she resents me being sick and is convinced that something should have cured me by now and that the only reason I'm sick is because I want to be. She also believes that I should have gotten used to the pain by now...so it shouldn't effect me anymore. If I wasn't so emotionally indoctrined to need her approval (which is obviouslly unattainable) I think I would be much more emotionally stable.
  17. saintpaulia23

    saintpaulia23 New Member

    "Oh! I think I have that, too!"

  18. padre

    padre New Member

    Lots of dumb things have been said, but this last week something else happened. Someone I really do not like...a man who is a bore and very insensitive... said, "I went on the net and looked up Fibromyalgia, that's an awful thing you have." Well, yeah, but what do I do now?
  19. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    My stepdaughter cleans our house. She brought my mother in law with her one day and I had left my little bag of meds out so she checked that out. What an invasion of my privacy.
    Next time we all went somewhere together, she said "That medicine will kill you". I said, " Well I can always quit taking it but I would have to quit work and then we would have no insurance." In other words, my husband would have no insurance.
  20. SusanEU

    SusanEU New Member

    "My back hurts too."

    "I know how you feel, I didn't sleep too well last night,either."

    "You'd feel better if you didn't take all that medication."

    "You need to walk more, get out more, exersize more, etc."

    "You're getting to be so anti social, why don't you get out and make more friends."

    and the dumbest one-

    "You just need a man." AARRGGHHHHH

    I'm sure there are more, but these are the main ones.

    Sue in Ontario