Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by another_painful_day, Dec 11, 2004.

  1. another_painful_day

    another_painful_day New Member

    I thought I would share this with you all. Ive posted the past few days about whats going on here and how upset I have been. Last night Hubby and I had a huge argument again and I was real angry, I said real mean things (God forgive me please) and I went to bed angry. I awoke angry and began my day like that. EVery time hubby tried to hug me I shoved him away. Funny how destructive anger can be...I know its destroying me lately....anyway...

    I was in the shower....hubby said hurry up come out I have something to cheer you. I am not waiting for xmas because you need to smile again and be cheery....
    So I called out "I dont want a darn thing from you...I just want you to please listen to me ....PLEASE...I dont want presents, nothing....just no more arguing...and for you to hear me when I talk...so go away...Im not coming out right now...."

    So he called to me again..."hurry...come to the kitchen...its from the kids and me you have to come see...hurry up..." With that I knew I couldnt disappoint the children so I said fine...

    I walked into the kitchen , all four faces gleaming with smiles ear to ear and little bodies lined up in a row in front of the kitchen table....hiding my surprise....giggling away.....I stood there with a puss on my face(like an idiot)

    I was grumpy and not smiling....

    Hubby was smiling ear to ear ......staring at me asking me if I was ready...I just grumbled and grunted...

    and then he said "OK KIDS, GIVE MOMMY HER PRESENT!!!"

    So they stepped aside...

    and there it was...a brand new guitar!Something I always dreamed about having and learning to use....all my life....

    I always wanted to learn how to play guitar! Hubby remembered and I was surprised but NEVER thought he would have doen something like this for me.

    He wants me to take lessons and he think itll cheer me up and relax me. Because of the stress I have been under he said he wanted to try to make me smile thast why he couldnt wait until xmas.

    so...there ya have it! Me an ol' grumpy fool....very angry at him...but he did something so sweet!
    The kids were so excited! You see our older girls play Trumpet and Bass Clarinet, my hubby use to play (yrs ago as a kid) Sliding guitar, and all three girls are also in church chior and hand bell and chime chior as well and they play beautifullly (even the 7 yr old is reading music now and its incredible!).
    Anyway, maybe this is something we can all enjoy as a family. Next yr hopefully we can get my step-son into music in 5th grade band like my daughter and step-daughter did originally.

    I thought maybe Id share something positive for a change.

    Its a start. I actually taught myself how to play Mary Had a Little Lamb in less than five minutes LOL! Heck its a start right?

    God bless!

    [This Message was Edited on 12/11/2004]
  2. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    Music is a real healer of the soul. This will draw you all together as you learn.
  3. Beadlady

    Beadlady Member

    So glad that you finally get to do this. When I was in 5th or 6th grade, I tried to learn to play the flute. Even though I could not master it, I still love flute music.

    Good luck, in following your dreams.
  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Men really do communicate differently than women. They do not want to listen to us unless there is something they can do to fix it. Listening to a problem which they cannot fix is painful to them and causes anxiety.

    We, on the other hand, are not expecting men to fix all our problems. We want validation and understanding. We need to understand that this is something that men may not be able to provide for us. That is why God made girlfriends.

    This gift is far more important than it appears on the surface. It is an offering which says all the things he cannot say with his voice. It shows he does listen and is trying to understand. He came up with fixing things in the only way he felt he could.

    I think when we stop expecting men to think and feel like we do, it goes a long way toward mitigating our disappointment and anger. It takes a lot of stress off the relationship and the man.

    If we ask for help, physical tasks, which men can do to help us, it gives them an opportunity to show their love in a way which makes sense to them. When they do this, we need to let them know how much it means to us.

    I'm not trying to be sexist and suggest that all men are incapable of emotions. I'm just recognizing that there really is a difference between men and women and how we think and how we were socialized to respond.

    Love, Mikie
  5. katsgirl

    katsgirl New Member

    Diane I am happy because you are happy. Enjoy your early xmas present.

    From kat.