Earth to Earthdog from Zen

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by zenouchy, Aug 15, 2011.

  1. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Hi Julie,

    How are you sweet friend? I'm soooo beyond sorry for following off the planet. I hope you are well and have been thinking about you and praying for you and your hubby daily. I know I sound like a broken record, but please do know that even when I don't write, I really do think of you.

    How is your hubby doing? I hope he is feeling much better and that you have been holding up well with all the stress involved as his caretaker while taking care of yourself too.

    Things have just been a tornado here, and I'm honestly not doing so great. :-(
    Our new computer broke down three times, but that's no biggie, but it's a big reason I haven't been around; I've also been much more stressed than usual; my mom said she hasn't heard me sound so stressed in years. I'm having more and more health mysteries and I'm just past my limit. I'm supposed to limit sitting and be up and moving as much as possible. I have a "high-normal" blood number for PRE-diabetes (so not diabetes), which makes absolutely NO SENSE. This is because I eat very healthy and exercise every single day. If I ate lots of sugar and didn't shake my groove thang ( ;-)), I could understand. The test I took to measure my blood sugar the nurse thinks is fine, but my dad (who is a doctor) thinks that (to be blunt) that's complete BS.

    Adding insult to injury, for some reason, the nurse doesn't think I need to see a doctor. She knows I feel terrible but doesn't think they can help. She's very nice but she's overstepping her bounds and then some, but she doesn't even know it. Every endocrinology office in my city doesn't want to see a patient unless they already have diabetes. So we should just all get sick and not be pro-active?? HUH? It's so crazy-backwards, and my dad talked to his chief of doctors in Oklahoma City who said that was completely asinine. My hubby has a cousin in another city in Texas that I might have to travel to see now, just to get help! I feel so sick and exhausted every day from all of the blood sugar swings, plus I have other health problems.

    AND...I have to get another psychiatrist too! I've seen this one for over ten years. That is if I can find one who will understand another wacky situation. That's stressing me out also. I'm trying to be okay, but it's tough. The one I see now is kind and caring, but he just doesn't help me anymore. I haven't responded well to medicines in years. I don't advocate people with bipolar to NOT take meds, but I'm in a weird spot because the side effects of the meds have made me extremely ill for years. I've gone to so many other doctors (different specialties---you name it, I've probably been to it) who tell me that they think the problems I'm having are because of my bipolar meds I'm taking. At first it was a little frustrating, but then going to doctor after doctor year after year, it's reached a boiling point. Even my blood sugar problems are being linked to my meds!!

    This scenario is probably unusual though, so please don't let that scare you. I've told my psychiatrist about these issues many times in many different ways, but it's fallen on death ears. He has tunnel vision and thinks that the only way he can help is for me to try another medicine that he just doesn't understand will make me sick. I want to be well, he wants me to be well, but medicines and more medicines with extreme side effects don't work. (How doesn't he not clue in??) I can work with mild side effects like we all can and in the beginning that's what they were, but as I got fibro and I've aged, it's just not that simple anymore. Things change.

    My sister takes bipolar meds and does fine. They aren't a picnic always but she functions with them. I'm just not and it's ridiculous. I don't know precisely what the answers are, but I do know that this is in itself an exercise in insanity. How can I possibly be in a good mood? Yet somehow I've forged on as you know I have. I've had concussions from being over-tired during the day, poor quality sleep at night, dental problems from dry mouth, menstruation problems, ovarian cysts, blood sugar problems, etc. These things don't exactly put me in a happy mood!! Plus all of my fibro stuff. I've tried many many meds over the years. (It's not just bipolar meds that make me sick too.)

    Fish oil helps me, exercise, eating healthy, nice music, etc. I have to search for things that help my mood that don't have these terrible side effects. I don't know if I can be med free, but I'm certainly going to go down AS LOW AS POSSIBLE and if there's any way to be med-free, I will. I've tried taking meds to help me for over 12 years, and for me it has turned into a train wreck. Sorry if I'm repetitive.

    I saw this neat book online that I thought you might find interesting. It looks really great for folks just diagnosed with bipolar: "Welcome to the Jungle: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Bipolar but Were Too Freaked Out to Ask" [Paperback]
    Hilary Smith (Author)

    I read through a few pages, and I like her tone a lot. She seems really down to earth and humanizes the illness a lot. She has it geared toward young people, but a lot of "older" people that read the book said they liked it a lot too. Just thought I'd pass the info along in case it was of interest. :)

    Sorry to be such a downer; what a crazy set of events lately, and I'm overwhelmed by it. Other health things happening here too PLUS the INSANE heat of 110 and a drought that is draining my energy and just about everyone's here. Toss me some Calgon! :) Thank you so much for listening. I appreciate it so much.

    Wishing you much happiness and hoping all is well with you. I'm sorry I'm not able to sit down and write more. I'm supposed to be up and active as much as possible. I of course will still write when I can. Always know I'm thinking of you daily and that I'm in your corner!

    Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts,

  2. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hi Erika,

    WOW, do you have a lot of stuff going on or what? I know I'm gonna have to refer to above since I have the memory of a rock, lol! I'm so sorry that you have so much on your plate and all of the extra health issues! Hey, it's totally normal to feel a little more than freaked out. Please do not apologize for not replying sooner because I totally "get it"! when you're going through so much and feeling down who feels like writing sometimes. I'm glad you wrote to me though and am glad that you are venting! It always helps me.

    Where to begin.....What the heck is "high normal" blood sugar? I know a bit about diabetes having 2 close friends who have diabetes and I have never heard of this! Does diabetes run in your family? My sister is borderline and we do have a history in the family. It is so weird to think that you are pre-diabetic when you take such good care of yourself!!I myself have been swimming almost every day and eating much healthier. I have not lost weight but notice that I am looking more toned, yah for that!

    I did'nt know that you have had trouble getting your meds right for 12 years! I guess you did'nt tell me that so as not to scare me. No worries about that ever. I would rather not have things "sugar coated" as many people and drs. do, right? Have you ever been on Lithium? I know its old school but I have read that a lot of people with bipolar end up taking it because it works really good for them. I am still taking the Lamictal and Abilify and it's working rather well. I still have times when I just cry over little things when they pile up but am not depressed, Thank God! You poor baby, I feel so bad for you! It's just not fair that no matter how hard we work to take care of ourselves that sometimes we still suffer!

    I just started taking fish oil about 2 weeks ago and already feel my memory getting better. well at least like that of a gnat but that's better than a rock,lol! I also saw that book by Hilary Smith on and thought it looked good. With your reviews I think I'll order it and get a used one to save money, why not? Do you take MSM or CO-Q10? It seems to help with the fibro pain and fatigue for me. I ran out once for a few days and noticed I was feeling very tired so it must be good! Oh and BTW I used to have ovarian cysts and endometriosis and had 3 surgeries from age 24 until the last one when I was 38! I found an awsome gynocologist who suggested the Depo-Provera shot because it either stops most women's periods or they just get spotting. I have not had a period since which was 1998 and boy is it fantastic! No more gynecologic problems either!!

    I'm so sorry that you are losing your psychiatrist! I can't imagine. I too have been with the most wonderful one for 11 years and would "freak" too if I had to find a new one! I will pray that you get a fantastic new dr. and wish you the best! OMG, it is sooooo freakin hot where you live, it only makes matter worse. It's been in the 80's-90's here and we have low humidity since we are in the desert. I hope you have some good air-conditioning in your house and in your car! What is the humidity there? I suggest finding a pool, lake, river, cold showers, whatever it takes to cool down as much as possible. I wish you lived here then I could throw you in my pool and you would be a happy camper!

    David is doing pretty good but still has to catheterize himself which he hates and is sore all the time! The good thing is that he is feeling the urge more and if he can pee on his own before we go back to the urologist in 4 and a half weeks he won't have to have surgery. We are hoping, wishihg and praying about that like crazy! I hope to God he does'nt have to have surgery even though the dr. said it's only an overnite stay and then he will be pain free. David does not have insurance so we're talking mucho denero! He never gets sick and has been healthy almost all of his life except for back surgery but it was a big success for him. I am so very lucky that I can keep my school district insurance through Oct. then I have to switch to Cobra. Although, if I get the school disability and SSI then I won't have to pay for insurance. I will find out about the one disability next month and the SSI probably around Nov. or Dec. It has to happen because right now my hubby is only working part-time right now and we are barely making it. I did'nt realize what a big difference my paychecks made esp. since I only worked 30 hours a week! The bummer part is that I got 2 and a half months so my disability will reflect that.

    Oh brother I am so praying for you and also wishing and a-dreamin that you feel better soon and get a break. Please feel free to vent as often as you want! I am always here and on the computer in the mornings from about 10-12 and at night from about 9-10. I know that's a lot of computer time but I'm slowly weaning myself from it. It started out as a good escape and has turned into an obsession, gotta stop and smell the roses more AND get a life,lol! A couple of things I do every day that is very healthy is swim and journal or write poetry. My dad thinks I'm a great poet but I think he is partial, hehehe! The journaling is so good for my soul and so cleansing, I just love it! What about you, do you journal? I also try to read at least one book a week and spend time with family and friends every week. How is your support system? I bet your sis really helps a lot having bipolar too, I hope so. My sister has CFS, fibro and Painic Disorder so she is very good to talk to and always comes up with some really good advice. She is my angel on earth and I don't know what I would do without her! Speaking of long-winded and wired, that's me right now so sorry for the short novel!

    I think of you often too and pray that you are doing well. I had a very strong feeling that you were not doing so great the last couple of weeks. Guess my E.S.P was working this time though I wish it was a more positive vibe this time! I hope this reply finds you feeling better and feel free to vent anytime even if it's just a quick reply! I don't mind at all even if it's not good stuff. I think it would be very good for you to journal . It's very good to write your feelings and emotions down. I try not to vent a lot to my friend's and family because I'm sure it gets old for them and I don't like being negative. It sure helps to have this msg. board to get feelings and emotions out, big time! Take care of yourself and know that things will get better. I can just feel it, you know with all of my E.S.P powers,lol! Wow was I off on your height and color of hair though! I am a good witch though, just kidding,lol! I hope to hear from you soon,

    Lots of Hugs my friend, Julie
    [This Message was Edited on 08/15/2011]
  3. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Thank you so much for your sweet message! You helped me so much, and it made me good having you just be there for me and knowing how much you understand everything. Yes, your ESP was working full-swing this time, girlfriend! Yes, it's Julie, the good-witch of the West--ha ha :)

    I'm so glad David is improving! The catheter doesn't sound fun though. What a trooper he is. I'm sorry it has been a long road and that surgery is a possibility and all of the darn medical expenses that go along with the unwanted medical problems. It's an added stress you two don't need. I hope you can keep your insurance the way you need it be. My thoughts and prayers are with you both for his complete healing and good outcome.

    Glad you ordered the bipolar book! Let me know how you like it. It looks like a good one.

    Yes, it's been a confusing pressure cooker lately. I feel calmer today and am hoping for some clarity soon. The endo. nurse is supposed to be helping me find some new doctors, yet she's also the one who thinks I don't need to see an endocrinologist, so it's making things really nutso right now. I feel like I need to wait for her to help me before I try to see the endo. It's a very unusual situation on top of many other unusual situations! Sheesh!!

    Yes, the blood sugar being another very unusual situation. My blood sugar is not high normal (I know, very confusing!). It stays mostly on the low side. I had another blood test (A1C) I think it's called that measures if one has diabetes. That was what measured in the very high-normal range. Which doesn't make sense at all, given the propensity for three things: the low blood sugar I just mentioned, the extremely healthy diet (which the nurse validated) and the exercise I do every day. It just doesn't add up. However, the nurse says it's fine!! But as I mentioned, my dad says that's just NOT TRUE, especially with me feeling so sick. So it's a big mess and has been for a long time.

    I hope the nurse will just get back to me so I can continue figuring out my next moves. It's like a big chess game as to how to figure out my medical care, and that's just sad!! My dad spoke to his chief of medical doctors yesterday who told him that it was nonsense that endocrinologists won't see me. I've seen that happen with other patients here too because I've overheard conversations in the waiting room where I heard them saying that they wanted to see the endo and not the nurse and they sounded very aggravated. I don't know what the deal is. Anyway, I'm ready for the frustration to be over with. It's built up after several years, as you know, and I just want to feel better and be able to live a much healthier life. :)
    Thank you so much for listening.

    You're spot on about friends and family. We need a support system, but then I too am careful about not wanting to overload them about the burdens that we have that are so unique to us. So it's good support but we can't spill everything and sometimes we really need to just spill it all. Bottling it all in isn't good either. This board is really great for that. Yes, it helps that my sister is bipolar also (ironic statement isn't it? ;)) but then sometimes I have to be careful there too that I don't upset too much too. She's doing much better now, so I can a lot share more with her than I could in the past.

    Your throw me in the pool statement was so cute; I loved it. :) It just reminded me of that hilarious song "take me to the river, throw me in the water". It often has that goofy fish hanging on wood singing it. It's hilarious. If you haven't heard of the song, I will find it on youtube, hopefully with the goofy fish singing it. It's so funny/goofy.

    Alrighty, I have to get myself up and moving around. Gee, I want the fibro-get-up and move award, people! :) Sending you big hugs and good wishes. You have cheered me up with your wonderful humor and sweet note. I appreciate you so much! Have a very Happy Tuesday!

    Erika :)

  4. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hi Erica!

    Hey, it's so nice to hear back from you so soon! I slept in a bit and am just now drinking my coffee and waking up. Trying to make up for the 3 night's of insomnia I had,yuck! I finally slept about 10 hours the last two night's but still feel groggy this morning! So......if I sound really kooky then that's my excuse,hahaha! I'm so glad that I cheered you up! It's nice to know that I made a difference! I love your sense of humor too, it's awesome! When you called me the good witch of the west it really cracked me up and I laughed so loud my hubby came in and said what's so funny! I told him that I have proof that my E.S.P is working AND that you said I was the good witch of the west but he still better watch out,lol!

    I'm so sorry that you are feeling so sick and that you can't get "help" from the endo. Hopefully, you will find some good drs. and they will get you leveled out and find out what the heck is going on! It's crazy that these drs. don't know what they are doing and your dad knows more than they do!! Oh, BTW it really "tickled" me that you were reminded of the song Take Me To the River when I said I wanted to throw you in my pool! I know that song very well! I have never seen the one on you tube with the frog but would love to see it! I know it's by the Talking Heads originally and always liked that song!

    See, here I go on and off subjects. Guess I need a couple more cups of coffee and a pain pill,lol! Believe it or not the Vicodin gives me a little energy unlike any other pain pill does! My sister is the same way and swears that if she takes a vicodin it wakes her up but if she takes a percocet it makes her really tired, me too! Sometimes we say that we are really twins that were born 2 and a half years apart,lol! We have had sooooooo many of the same DD's and surgeries all of our lives. I'm just so glad that she is not bipolar too so I understand when you say it's ironic about your sis having it also! My sis is so spot on when she talks to me and can just tell by my voice when I am "up" or "down" with the bipolar! Sometimes it bugs me because I just want to be "me" and not talk about things but she pressures me a bit. She is the strong one in the family and can handle much more stress than I can. She says things to me that should be commen sense but that I don't see sometimes and it really helps my perspective!

    I can't wait to get the bipolar book because it seems to be just what I have been looking for. Maybe I can get something out of it that I can "share" with my family so that they can better understand bipolar. I was looking up on the web one day for a letter to family and friends about bipolar but could'nt find what I wanted. Everything I saw was too depressing and the way they always put in suicide as a risk I decided that was not the way to go. I have never thought about suicide even in my darkest depressing times, Thank God! My son's friend tried to commit suicide about a month ago by taking a bunch of pills and went to the hospital then to a psych hospital for 3 days! She is now on Prozac and in counseling and is doing much better and even back to work. I have known her very well for about 7 years and it struck me very hard. How can a beautiful, smart, funny young woman (23) get to such a dark place? My son was deeply disturbed by all of it and was the one who took her to the hospital and helped her through the last month. Thank God that he is such a strong, sensitive, loving young man and can help others the

    way he does. Everyone says he gets that from me but I have always been a little "codependent" and caution him not to be that way as well! He is my biological son, Nick, age 26 and my other 3 are step. I hate to use that word and always say my kids or my son or daughter and am very close to them! My other kids are Hayley (20), Amber (29) and Josh (30) almost 31. Then there's my beautiful, wonderful and funny grandson Ezekiel (5) by my daughter Amber. He is the joy in my life and I love spending time with him. I have a "date" with him this Thurs. to go swimming and then to visit my mom and dad!

    Okay, why am I going on and on? I guess I too hold a lot in and it feels so good to be able to vent to you about my fears and frustrations. Thanks so much for listening and for caring! I'm glad that you can also feel comfortable venting to me! I'm glad that you feel calmer today and hope that you continue to feel better and better. What meds are you taking now for the bipolar and fibro? Did the endo dr. talk about meds or anything different you can do about your blood sugars? Maybe some natural supplements? Well, I've bored myself long enough, lol, better go! BTW, thanks for always asking and caring enough to ask about my hubby! I really appreciate it and appreciate you!
    Take care and I hope next time you reply that you are doing even better!!

    Many hugs and love to you, Julie
  5. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Sorry it has been so long to write yet again. Hope all is well with you, that you are feeling well and that David continues to improve. Hope too that the rest of your family is doing well and that you are enjoying your new books (which you've probably read by now). :) I think and pray for you daily and your wonderful humor makes me smile. You are always so sweet and supportive. I hope I am too.

    This may be short. I'm absolutely exhausted. It's been really unusually crazy around here. Texas is experiencing the worst drought in over 150 years. I don't know if you've heard about the Bastrop fires on the news? If not, you can probably see the info online on a national news website. It's just so sad and horrific. So many have lost their homes and tons of acres has just burned. There's tons of other neighborhoods where people have had to evacuate.

    Well, the fumes from winds made their way here yesterday (for some reason it took a few days). The air was very thick with a smoky smell. We didn't know at the time it was from Bastrop though and we're a good distance away from them so who knew? We thought it was a fire close by. I called our local fire department, and they said they were looking for a fire but didn't see one. I asked him what he recommended we should do, and he said that he would prepare to evacuate!! With all of the fires going on all over Texas (there's been so so many), I knew that was sound advice, but yikes, preparing to evacuate is not a quick process, and I was scared but trying to stay on task and just get more things together. I had started to prepare on Sunday when there were 8 fires going on at the same time. That's unprecedented and so unsettling. The fire department websites have literally TEN pages on how to prepare; it's pretty overwhelming. The only thing one can do is just get started somewhere.

    Obviously you want clothes, meds, jewelry, cash, priceless pictures/photo albums, important documents, clothes and the list goes on and on. Some of the things needed to evacuate are being used daily and it has to be organized in a logical way, prioritized properly because usually the fires come VERY FAST (sometimes literally in seconds!). Therefore, you have to prepared to just leave without the all of the items on the huge list they give you, depending on the notice you're given. Many people have had to leave without anything (some weren't prepared either). I'll probably pack some extra clothes in the trunk of my car.

    I don't have tons of extra clothes just hanging around but I do have a few extra things. I did buy extra undies, and I do actually have some extra shorts I haven't worn yet. And actually, I have an extra pair of shoes b/c I have a hard time finding shoes since my feet are narrow, so I bought a few extra. :) These types of things I'll just keep in my trunk now so in case (g-d forbid) of an evacuation, I want have to make an extra trip.

    It's really crazy and an odd way to live. I'm trying to keep up with my normal activities, changing out some docs and having my the needed down time. I really wish I could prepare faster and be all done, but I just don't have the energy. I'm already very exhausted from yesterday's scare. I actually counted out three weeks of meds and vitamins to keep right in my purse in case something happened when I was out of the house and couldn't return. All other meds are being kept in a suitcase. It's so weird, I've never had to do this before, ever.

    It's just unbelievable and so sad the people that have had their homes burned down. We don't have any rain in sight so it's only going to get worse and it's already so bad. :-(

    Anyway, thank you so much for listening. Sorry to sound so melodramatic; it's been pretty wacky lately. I think of you often and hope things are going well for you. :)

    Sending you big hugs, good thoughts and warm wishes,

  6. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hi Erica!

    I was so surprised and pleased to get your reply! It has been a long time but I completely understand! OMG, I can't even imagine what you must be going through out in Texas. I have heard all about the fires and devistation on the news and have thought of you. So sad for so many people and their families! I am so glad to hear that you are okay and hope and pray that you don't have to evacuate. I believe in God but cannot help but ask, Why? You are very wise to get things in order, just in case! Do you have family near by?

    I too will continue to pray for rain and rain and more rain! Do you know that I live in the desert here in Reno and we have had many fires here? Nothing like you are experiencing but pretty scary. 2 days before we moved in to this house there was a fire that raged behind our property and was stopped literally on our property line! I remember thinking, OMG is this a sign? Well, we have not had another fire that close in the 13 years we have lived here. There have been fires close by in the little valley we live in but they were put out almost immediatly! Our fire department is only 6 blocks away!

    I am so sorry to hear about all of the stress you have been going through and hope that things get better and you get some rain! How are you holding it all together? How is your health through all of this? I hope that you are doing okay despite all of the stress! Please keep me posted if you can and I will be thinking of you and praying for an end in sight!

    David is doing great! He has not had to use the catheter in about a 3 weeks so no surgery, Thank God. I have been doing okay just overdoing it lately so am just relaxing by the pool and reading today. The bipolar is pretty leveled out although I had some small manic and depressed times this week. Long story but everything is okay. I am just waiting on my approval for the school district disability which will happen on Sept. 21st. I saw and talked to my counselor yesterday in Carson City and she said that their dr. approved it and now the board just has to review. She said don't worry Julie I think you are home free!! I can't wait to recieve my first check in Oct. and be able to separate from the district.

    OMG Erica, did you hear about the shootings at the IHOP in Carson City? A man just went in and started shooting everywhere and killed 4 people and wounded 7 then he killed himself! We were supposed to go to Carson that day, (Tues.) but I told David I was too tired to go and could we just go on Wed. and he said sure!! My friend who lives in Cal. called me on the phone in desparation thinking that we had gone and was so relieved when I home and had not gone! I feel so sorry for the families of the victims!

    I hope that you continue to be safe and I will keep you in my prayers. Please let me know how you are doing as I still go on the board every day for a short while. If you just need to vent I am here for you sweet girl. Prayers to you and your family and friends to stay safe. You will be in my thoughts!

    Faith, Peace and Comfort, Julie
  7. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Hi Julie!

    Thank you so much for your sweet note. I’m thrilled to hear that David is doing better! Glad you are mostly doing well too. I understand how it’s so easy to push and that bipolar is so hard to get perfectly stabilized. Please know I’m thinking of you and am always in your corner. Give yourself some down-time when you can (like you are now). My fingers are crossed that you get your school-board disability. Keep me posted.

    So sorry you have had fires in your area too. I didn’t know you had one so close to your house years ago---wow!! So your home was unaffected!! Yes, the fires here right now are not good at all. We’re having the worst fire in TX history in Bastrop, and I feel so badly for all of the families affected there and all people affected by bad weather. I saw one of my neighbors yesterday, and she told me that she thinks our neighborhood is in a better situation b/c we have a fire dept very close by (like one street away, which is awesome), plus we don’t have greenbelts close by either. We’re still in a huge drought and need to be extremely careful, but at least we have those two things going for us. Then there’s so many other parts of the country dealing with terrible floods. A balance would be nice. :)

    Yes, I heard about the IHOP shootings and have been praying for the victims of the families. Such terrible news these days. :( Thank goodness you didn’t go! I’m so glad you and David stayed out of harm’s way.

    Off to rest for now. It’s been so exhausting this week and the past several with the fires, switching doctors, several doc appts, etc. No rest for the weary!! I have to “break up” with my psychiatrist next week. After seeing him since 1999, that’s what it feels like. It’s not going to be easy, and I’m not looking forward to it. He’s so nice, and I know his heart’s in the right place, but he’s just not helping me anymore. I feel like I should be getting him a parting gift and telling him “it’s not you, it’s me”. ;)

    Sorry I’m not the best writer. I get so swamped, tired and overwhelmed sometimes. Please know that I am thinking of you often and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Sending you hugs, comfort and good cheer,

  8. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hi Erika!

    I've been meaning to reply back to you all day but I've been so busy! What was supposed to be a day of relaxation turned out to be crazy busy! I think I was feeling kind of manic today and feeling nervous energy. I am definetly going to speak to my dr. about upping or changing my meds when I see him Oct. 3rd. Anyways, we are having a yard sale on the 17th and I decided to get a head start on going through my clothes even though I have plenty of time! I ended up going through ALL of my clothes, winter,spring,summer and fall and it took me about 4 hours! Geez, what a kook, now my neck and back are hurting so I just took a Vicodin. Maybe that will help me calm down some!

    I am so glad to hear that you are in a relatively safe place. I hope that makes you feel a little bit better. I have been watching the news and it is just devistating what's happening to you all in Texas! I feel so terrible for all of the suffering and loss all of the folks affected by this tragedy. I will continue to pray for you all. I can't believe that you're having the worst fires in history in Bastrop! Then the drought,OMG! God keep you and your family and friends safe. Does all of your and your hubby's family live in Texas?

    I'm soooo sorry to hear that you have had to switch drs. and run around all over the place with your appts. I am so fortunate to have the same Internal Med. dr. for 15 years and my psych for 11! They know me so well and take such good care of me I can't imagine having to change anytime soon! My regular dr. is a woman and so sympathetic and has a really good understanding of fibro and CFS. My psych is a man and he is very spiritual, peaceful and understanding. He is from India and has lived here for 30 years but still has the beautiful accent. I swear that I can almost see an aura about him,lol! Oh Erika, you cracked me up with the story about "breaking up" with your dr. and saying, "its not you it's me"! I laughed so hard I almost peed, hahahaha! You have the best sense of humor, I love it!

    Did'nt I tell you in my last email that my disability counselor said she was 99.9% sure that I would get my disability? Sorry if I am repeating myself but I email so many people and talk to my family and friends so it's hard to remember sometimes. Anyways, the disability dr. approved me and then they just send it to the board that meets on the 21st so I will find out for absolute sure on the 22nd! I will reply to you then and let you know. I'm so sorry that you're feeling so exhausted right now and hope that you can find some ME time soon. Sometimes you have to put things on the back burner and say no more, I need to chill! Please do that for yourself soon! I have been overdoing it lately myself and slept 11 hours Wed. night and 10 last night! I was just dead to the world and slobbering last night,lol!

    Well, I best be going as this email took me 2 hours to write because I took a long break in between to talk to a friend of mine,hahahaha! I hope that this email finds you feeling more rested and doing some fun things for yourself! BTW, how is your bipolar these days? I'll talk to you soon and look forward to hearing from you too! I know it might be awhile so no worries!

    Take care of you, Hugs, Julie ;-)
  9. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    How are you? Hope this note finds you well. Just looking at your past note and am noticing that today you find out for certain if you get your disability. What timing. My fingers and toes are crossed for you that you do! Hope that you are finding some "Me" time and that David is continuing to improve.

    Things are fine here for now. The drought continues to worse; if we could just get some rain, that would be awesome. We haven't had any major fires though, so that's really great. Had lots of stress last week and weekend with "breaking up" with my psychiatrist and other unusual things, but I think the worst is over with now, thank goodness. I got an ocular migraine from all of the craziness, but the worst of that is over too. (I got intense nausea and bright light sensitivity, but no headache.) Still a little out of it, so sorry if I sound "bland"; I'm just a bit tired still. Life is just too busy sometimes, but what can we do? I've had lots of much-needed down time though and a great phone call from a friend, so I'm in good spirits.

    I've been reading lots of good books. Just finished one; perhaps you might like it: "The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio: How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 25 Words or Less" It was interesting, fun, sad at times (but not overwhelmingly so) and inspirational. I love sharing books I like with other people who like to read. :)

    Anyway, talk to you more soon. Hoping to hear good news on your disability.

    Sending you hugs, good health and cheer,

    Erika :)

  10. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    I was so pleased to hear from you! Sorry it took me a while to reply. The last week has been crazy, busy for me! My son, Nick had to move back home for awhile so we moved him in over the last few days. Oh what fun,lol! His roommates sat him down and said, well we're moving out at the end of the month! 2 quit their jobs and 1 is on unemployment. Can you imagine quitting your job when we are in a recession? Good luck to them! Anywho, he is going to college part-time and working part-time and cannot afford to live on his own so we said, just stay with us for awhile, save some money and find an older more responsible roommate! He is a total sweetheart and such a joy to have around so I can't say it bothers me at all to have him back home for awhile.

    Yes,yes and yes, I got my disability!!! My counselor called me yesterday and told me. I was over the moon and sooooo relieved! I will start recieving benefits and checks on Oct. 25th! This is the disability retirement from the school district and I also applied for Social Security Disability. I should find out about that one in Nov. or Dec. Yaaaaaaay! I'm so glad to hear that the fires have stopped in your area but pray that you get rain soon! I'm sorry to hear that you have had so much stress lately but happy to hear that things are getting better. Did you find another psych yet? I hope and pray you get a really good one who is understanding and compassionate as well as well versed in bipolar! I too had a phone call recently from a really good friend who lives in Cal. and we talked for 3 hours! It was so great and just what I needed! I may go visit her in Feb. or March!

    That book you mentioned sounds really good, maybe I'll check it out. I have been reading "Journey to the Heart" by Melody Beattie. It's a daily meditation book on "The Path to Freeing Your Soul" and is a very inspirational book. I have read all of her other books and she is fantastic! Thanks so much for checking in on me, so sweet of you. I think of you too and wish you the very best and hope you are doing well. I look forward to hearing from you again as always. Take care of you and enjoy your down time. Mine will be next week, boy am I ready for that!

    Peace and Comfort Always, Julie
  11. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    So thrilled you got your disability!!! Woo hoo, I'm doing a happy dance for you!!

    You sound busy having a surprise move-in from one of your kids! Hope that isn't too hard on you; I'm glad he is such a sweetie though. Sounds like it will be fun. Yes, sometimes teenagers don't understand economic realities and must learn the hard way. Most learn in time though. Being older has its advantages! :)

    I will check out your books too; they look great. It's always fun to see what people are reading.

    I have an appt with a new psych, but I don't know we'll be a match yet, so there's some uncertainty there. I've done my best upfront to try to get someone I'll be compatible with, but I don't know for certain until the first appt of course, so fingers crossed there. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers; I didn't realize how upset I've been with the drought; it's always on the news and it just gets worse by the week. Don't mean to sound so dour about it. Just hoping and praying it ends, and the thing is, they're saying it's not! Thanks for letting me vent.

    It's like watching a sad movie that doesn't end. The whole state is going cuckoo (for cocoa puffs). It's been economically devastating for farmers---they've had to sell of their cattle because they can't feed them (not enough hay for some reason, must have something to do with water to grow it); and many many other businesses have closed or are in a threat to close; resorts, anything that has to do with water. It's affecting some of our food supply here and across the nation. We're having to ration water like crazy. Soon, I wonder if we'll be able to flush our toilets. ;) Wish the states that were flooding could send their water here. Feast or famine.

    Glad you talked to a good friend of yours; that is the best! Hope you can go for a visit too. That would be awesome. Have a wonderful afternoon and weekend and thinking of you and praying for good things for you too. Enjoy your down-time next week!

    Sending you peace, comfort and hugs (I had accidentally typed "peaches" instead of peace---hee hee),

    Erika :)