((((((EARTHDOG)))))))

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mrsjethro, Jun 10, 2006.

  1. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    Hey Julie, glad you posted that. I had missed that reply on that one. So we are both very lucky to have the loves of our lives back. There are so many people that I have seen go through life and missing out on some real bonding and true love. Just curious, do you seem to be able to read each others minds? We can communicate sometimes without saying a word it seems.
    IN CASE I FORGET - HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! You know I can't remember stuff. We just had our 2 year anniversary this past January. The new wore off a lit quicker because we knew each other so well, but we settled into a very comfortable place in our relationship at that point, and it couldn't be much better,(unless of course I didn't have this DD and could go more places with him)but that is a really good thing. He is the only person that I have ever been able to totally be myself with.

    I may have to check into that fm book for dummies. I think it would be good if I read that one myself. That is a wonderful idea. I've shared some information with him, but I am careful about what I let him know because of the disability thing and his opinion of me just giving up. Do you have support from your hubby now that he understands more? Is he encouraging you with the disability filing? Have you decided to pursue that? What about health insurance? Have you found any useful info on that one. that seems to be his primary concern, other than thinking I'm just throwing in the towel. I'm afraid that Medicare won't pay for everything and that I won't qualify for Medicaid. I live in TN and we have a program called TennCare, but I don't really know anything about it other than they're going through a major reform right now and trying to kick a lot of people off of it that don't really qualify. We have a lot of people that are on it now just because they don't want to work, not because they aren't physically able. It has been grossly abused. I'll probably have to check into that too. I don't think private insurance will take me if I file for disability and because of all the major medical issues that I've had. I've had a lot!! Major back surgery, spinal fusion, crushed heel (all that at once), hysterectomy, ovary removed, tubal pregnancy (obviously not in that order). I've got a madical profile that would scare the poo out of most people. I've had a lot of problems over the years.
    Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for calling that post to my attention and for the very helpful suggestions!! I'll have to say that I am very envious of you living in Nevada. I've been to Vegas once and loved it. I want to go back some time in the near future. Keep me posted on your disability progress if you decide to go forward with it. I'm still thinking strongly about it, but am going to have to approach it lightly for a while it seems.
    Take care, thanks, and keep me posted.
    ((((hugs julie))))
  2. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member


    Hey, I'm glad you found the post! Yes, my hubby is a lot more understanding since he read that book and he even did some research and got me on a regimen of vitamens too! Unfortunately that was 2 years ago and he is very frustrated with all of my health issues and sometimes is'nt the loving, patient husband I'm used to. I think it's because this year I've been sicker than ever and it's been harder for both of us. Would you believe that we only had 1 year together until I got sick? Pretty ironic is'nt it that we finally get the love of our lives back and then our health goes to pot!

    I really don't know anything about how to file for disability yet as I've just recently been thinking about looking into it. I was going to just take a month or two off on medical leave but I don't think that's enough time to get better! I work for the school district so I was supposed to be off for the summer but now our school is going to year-round so I'll only have 4 weeks off instead of 10!! I'm really scared to quit working cause I really do love my job and what if I'm never able to go back to work? I need to call the district on Monday and find out how long a medical leave I can take first.

    Oh yeah, I almost forgot, yes my hubby and I read each others minds and we are best friends too! I wish we could do all the things we used to do like hiking, camping and just generally have fun together! I miss that sooooo much and I want it back,you know? I'm hoping that when I'm off work for awhile that I will get better. I pray about this every night.

    I'm so happy to have found this website and all of the wonderful and loving people here. I have to believe that there will be a cure someday and will never give up hope.

    I'll keep in touch and let you know if I learn anything about disability if I end up going that route. I really hope that a medical leave will be enough!

    Thanks for writing back,
    Gentle fibro-hugs, Julie

    P.S. What is your first name?
  3. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    We were only married a year before I got this sick too. The first year was pure heaven. This year has been pretty tough adjusting to being in so much pain most of the time. He has to bear the burden of most everything around the house and he is the only one with a job any more. I wish I could make it easier on him, but I do what I can and the rest will just have to wait. I'm learning that if I push myself too hard, I'll pay for it for the next couple of days. I'm just now learning that I can't do what I used to 20 years ago and I actually have to pace myself. That one is going to take a while to learn, I'm accustomed to running at full speed and I can't any more. I lost my job for being so sick. On the last day of February this year, they fired me. It was a blessing because at least I have unemployment until the end of August and I don't have all that stress any more. I worked in insurance for 15 years. Handled mostly business accounts and made some pretty good money, but learned that money is not at all as important as my health. It actually feels good to have a break. I was somewhat of a workaholic. I would bring work home and work on my laptop while laying on the heating pad just to try and keep up with the heavy workload.

    I've read that the Gaui Protocol is supposed to reverse FM, but the list of 1,000 things that you have to completely avoid contact with and the descriptions of what the body actually goes through, with no guarantee that it's actually going to work scares the heck out of me. "Feels like tiny fish hooks being pulled through your body and taking calcium with meals so that the buildup of stuff passes in your stool because it stings if it passes through your urine, even a tartar-like buildup in the bottow of the toilet as you pass it, and it can take a year of feeling like you're having a flare and such." I'm going to have to see a WHOLE LOT of people being COMPLETELY cured of fm before I put my body through all that on top of what I already have to deal with daily right now.

    I think the main hang-up that the hubby has with it is because we had discussed my quitting before I got fired to see if my health would get better and it hasn't so far. It after all, has only been 3 months that I've been off and probably much too soon to tell if I'm going to get better because the high levels of stress weren't the only contributing factors involved, they just seemed to make it that much worse. But, on a more positive note, I believe that I CAN get better and I really believe that a persons frame of mind has a lot to do with it. I hope you do decide to take some well earned time off to get better and to spend with your grandson. I find that being with my neice, even though it exhausts me (she's 6 and is used to playing rough with her uncles) just one hug from her always seems to make my pain go away for a little while. I don't have any kids of my own. I had to have a hysterectomy before I got a chance to really try. I think it was a blessing though, now that I've adjusted to the fact. I'm not sure if I would have had enough patience to endure what most parents do in their later years (like when the kids are 14 through maybe 26, lol) and I wasn't with the right partner either. This way, I have enough love for ALL children, and I can play with them and send them home. I drown myself mmost of the time in reading christian material and watching comedy on tv and movies - no sadness, no trauma. If you haven't seen it, check out my post on fibro humor, they're pretty funny and some are so true you can't help but laugh. And on that note, I'll leave you with this one that I haven't posted yet:
    CFS/FM Serenity Prayer
    Author Unknown
    Lord, grant me the serenity to accept
    The things I cannot change,
    The courage to change
    The things I can,
    And the wisdom to hide
    The bodies of Doctors I shot
    When they said,
    "You're perfectly healthy,
    It's All In Your Head."

    Have a wonderful night and an even better day tomorrow. Please keep in touch with me. You're the first and only person that I've actually tried to establish a real friendship with on here so far and I love it!!!
    Good night Julie.

    PS My name is Debbie. It makes me feel very special that you asked my real name. Thank you for asking.
  4. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member


    Hi Debbie!

    I'm so happy to have found a new friend too! I wish I could remember everthing you wrote in the reply you just sent me. Maybe I should print them out so I could remember, lol!!

    I LOVED the funny's you posted about fibro, I laughed so hard on some of them I almost cried! Now that's what we all need right now, more laughter in our lives,that's for sure. I too refuse to give in of give up!

    Tell your hubby that a lot of people with these DD's need a lot more than 3 months off to get better according to a lot of the posts I've read here. And we may never be able to work again or maybe just parttime. I think our hubbies are feeling very frustrated that they can't make us well and it's also very hard to watch us suffer,you know!

    I see that you've only been coming here for a few months. How old are you? You sound so very young,lol!

    I hope you have a good night's sleep and have one of your "better days" tomorrow, me too!

    Nitey nite, Julie
  5. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

  6. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    Now all of a sudden my back has decided to start having a fit, so I may be up for a little while longer than I had planned. I just took something, only a half a regular dose, so maybe it will ease enough that I can sleep. I have these horrible spasms in my back. I can't remember if I told you or not, but I broke my back about 20 years ago (actually I think it was about 18 years)and had to have a lower lumbar spinal fusion L4, L5 and S1. I actually fractured the spine and compressed the vertebrae and also crushed my right heel all at the same time. They shaved bone off my left hip and used that to fuse my spine. I went for many years with not much pain at all in the lower back. I carried all of the extra stress in my upper back because basically the lower part was immobilized, and now I pay dearly for that. That was a whole other story (probably what actually set off the fm when it comes down to it) and it's not much fun to hear about anyway. Bad relationship. I made lots of bad choices when I was much younger. Well, pooh!! I was hoping to get some good sleep so I could go to church in the morning. Maybe I still can. We have 2 services on Sunday, so maybe I can catch the later one.

    I will be 40 in August. I think we are around the same age. As far as remembering everything that we write in the previous post while we are replying, I cheat. I open a new window and that way I can bounce back and forth and still see what you wrote on one page while I type mine on the other. I don't retain information any more like I used to. I cant even remember the totally useless facts, trivia, and gobs of numbers that I used to remember any more now. I think you are absolutely correct about our hubbys frustrations. Men tend to want to fix things, especially something like this and they can't. I would be the same way with him though. I'd want to try everything under the sun to make him better or at least more comfortable. I guess the part that I get so frustrated with is that he doesn't seem to want to do any of the research or reading to learn about the condition, just wants me to try everything that he can possibly come up with and I can't try everything all at once like that or I wouldn't have any idea what was helping if I did find something. I'm currently on lorcets, flexeril and a very low dose of xanax. I've also just started trying Omega-3, an Acidophilus blend, ultra potassium and magnesium malate. I've read a lot of Stormyskye's posts and under her "Road to Remission" post she's got a really long list of natural and supplement things that she's using and getting good results from, I just didn't want to try too many things at one time. At least I think that was where I read it. It may have been an answer to one of my posts on natural supplements. It's midnight and I'm not all that sleepy, but I've already taken my medicine and hopefully it will ease up some. I'm really going to lay down and read till I hopefully fall asleep this time. I'm so glad and so honored to have met you and am really thrilled with the prospect of getting to know you better. I will keep you in my prayers.
    (((((Julie)))))
    Deb
  7. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member


    Hi Debbie,
    I just got up (it's 10:00) and I slept 10 hours!!! Let me tell you, I NEVER sleep that much! I guess it's all the stress of worrying about taking a medical leave from my job then possibly going on disability. I'm now on summer break but am supposed to go back to work 6 weeks earlier because my school is going to a year-round schedule!

    The thought of telling my principal that I'm not coming back is really making me feel sick,you know. I have been at the same school for 7 years and they really depend on me, esp. the secretary. I have been helping out in the office this year cause our clerk has been sick a lot and on medical leave for the last 2 weeks of school. That's probably why I am sooooo sick now from working 1 and a half jobs.

    The really bad part is that we will not have a clerk for this next year since the district rezoned and we will only have about 500 kids instead of almost 700!! Sooooo, I will really be leaving them in a bind and feel really bad about it.

    I know my health and family are more important so why am I having such a hard time with this? A big part of it is that my husband has been off work on disability and just recovered from back surgery. That's a long story but basically my dilemma is the financial part of not working! Okay, I've got to stop obsessing about this.

    Okay, my question is how do I open another window so I can read what you have written while responding to you? Yes, I know it's a totally blond question but duh, I don't get it,lol!!

    I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad night and I hope you got a decent nights sleep! Do you feel any better today?

    I too have some back probs., well neck and shoulder actually. I had a cervical fusion and discectomy in 2002 and rotater cuff repair on my shoulder in 2003. I have been having major problems with my neck and shoulder again this last year and am going to see an orthodedic surgeon on Monday. I'm hoping that he will do an MRI so we can see what's going on.

    Hope you get to go to church today but if not the Lord will understand. You have to take care of yourself first and formost, right?

    I hope to chat with you later,
    Very gentle fibro-hugs, Julie
    P.S. I just turned 48 on May 16 but feel like I'm 80 most of the time!


  8. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    Okay, first thing - to get the new window go to the very top left hand corner of your screen and click on file - new - window. That will open an exact duplicate of what you are looking at so you can reply in one and still refer back to the other one. Jump back and forth between windows on the bottom of your screen then. I could not survive without doing that. I can't remember anything for very long any more and I don't retain even half of what I read anymore anyway.

    I can certainly understand the stress that you're going through right now. I went through that same thing with my job. I literally worried myself into a huge flare that put me in a tailspin and wound up with 3 other illnesses back to back on top of all that. Please try to do some type of relaxation exercises, prayer and meditation, or something. I really don't want to see you do that to yourself. I'm a natural born worry-wart, so I really do understand. I'm a perfectionist when it came to my job and I can't stand the thought that I might be letting even one person down and I'm sure that may be a part of your struggle with it also. The good news is, they are making it just fine without me, they have hired a replacement(of course my leave was permanent) and God will provide for you even when you physically don't see how that could possibly ever happen. So far I haven't had to do without anything at all that I needed and I'm getting a much needed break to work on my health - sort of. I would be no good to anyone if I had just kept pushing myself. I believe that God has other plans for me a little further down the line and that the loss of the job was actually a benefit to both me and my former employer. I still talk to my boss sometimes. We were very close, but the "main man" made her fire me. She didn't want to and I actually had to help her through the guilt of having to do that. She was always so good to try and work around my sickness. We were close enough that she was my maid of honor at our wedding.

    What type of back surgery did your husband have and how is that coming along? Is he getting better, and will his surgery cause his healing to be a long slow process, or something that he should bounce back from pretty soon? I'll be praying for him too.

    I had a totally horrible night. Up till 4am and only 3 hours sleep, but I did get some bible study in while on the heaating pad. I have to make notes, though, or i won't get the full effect of what I'm trying to study. Got woke up by the phone early this morning - a friend that has lots of ongoing marital problems and am going to have to explain to her at some point that I can't handle the stress of it right now while I'm having the MAJOR flare, but I don't want to hurt her feelings or shut her off either. Have to figure out how to handle that one very delicately. She is, after all, one of my 3am buddies that we can call if we ever need each other and I don't have but 1 of those that I can actually depend on and the only one I've ever had in my life. Of course, I'm finding that I actually have some 3am buddies on the board if I need to talk now. That helps.

    I am so glad to hear that you got such a good nights sleep. I had actually done that night before last after going for a couple of weeks averaging 2 hours a night I finally collapsed and slept like a rock. I even tried to duplicate what I had done the day before hoping that it would work that way again, but no such luck.

    I had the x-rays and mri's done and I've also got 2 bulged discs in my neck and 2 in my upper back. I'm a walking medical nightmare for the time being, or at least that's how I feel sometimes. I didn't make it to church, but if I can get eased up later on today, I will probably pick back up where I had to leave off last night on the bible study. I figure as long as I'm getting something accomplished like that, that God will surely understand. He knows my heart.

    The doctors have actually told me that my body is about 10 to 15 years older that I actually am because of all the surgeries, back problems, disc damage, etc. so I suppose I'm actually a 50 year old woman in a 40 year old suit. But I feel 80 sometimes myself. Right now being one of those times.

    Happy belated birthday. I'm going to log off and lie down for a little bit and see if I can't get eased up some. Maybe even sneak in a short nap. I'll check back here in a little while. I really am enjoying getting to know you. I really like you and your personality. I'll also be praying for peace for you in your decision and the way that things work out for you.
    (((((((hugs julie))))))
    Debbie

  9. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hey Deb, Can I call you Deb? My friends call me Jules and you can too! Thanks for the wonderful words of support. I really need it right now and it sounds like you do too so I will be here for you, new friend!

    I have to admit something to you and it is very hard for me. My faith in God has been shaken a lot this last year and though I know it's not right there's times when all I can say is "Why God, Why me?)

    It's so amazing to me that in this time of doubt that I should meet someone like you who still has such a strong faith. I believe that God intended for us to become friends when I need soooo much to believe in Him again!

    When I read your reply it made me cry cause it was then that I realized that I need to believe again! Don't worry, it was tears of joy! Thank you!

    I hope you get a much needed rest and I too am going off the boards for awhile. My migraine is gone and just a little headache left. Soooooo, I'm going out to the pool and try to swim a little. It usually always makes me feel better. Esp. when my neck, shoulders and legs are in spasms. I can do it! Here I gooooooooooo,lol!

    P.S. Oh yeah, I figured out how to open another window, thanks! It was sooo easy, I can't believe it! Well, what can I say? Did I mention that I REALLY AM BLOND,lol,lol?

    I'll talk to you later,
    Hugs, Julie
    [This Message was Edited on 06/11/2006]
  10. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    Yes, my friends call me Deb and you can too, my friend. I've always loved the nickname Jules. It's pretty, as I'm sure you are too. You have a beautiful personality and spirit and a very kind and loving heart. That is obvious already.

    I don't know if you'd actually call that a nap or not. I slept about 4 hours. I feel a little better, but still hurting pretty bad. Thankfully I've got an appointment with my doctor tomorrow at 1:00. I just hope I'm able to get up and go to it. I need to talk to her pretty badly. I feel like I need even more medication, but I am so afraid to ask for it. It scares me every time I face this because I don't ever want her to think that I'm just a pill freak looking to get a buzz. I don't get a buzz. I barely even get any relief from what I do take.

    I did go ahead and order that Fibro for Dummies book and also ordered the book on the Guai protocol. "What you doctor may not tell you about fibromyalgia" I just thought in order for me to have an objective opinion on it, that instead of basing my opinions solely on the experiences that the ladies are having right now (and I have no doubt that the process is quite aweful) I thought I should be fair and read all of the information first before I became too judgemental. It may take me a while to read them both, but I'll keep you posted, especially if I think it is actually something that may help us.

    Now, on the the faith topic. I understand completely. I've been there myself. I spent some time wondering why God would allow me to suffer so much too. But I also know that suffering usually creates a great learning experience for me. When I was leading the women's recovery group at our church, it became apparent to me that all of the terrible experiences as well as all the good ones were all designed for a purpose. I was able to share those awful and very emotionally traumatic experiences with the girls, to personally relate with a lot of the terrible things that they had been through and also to serve as a living example that no matter where you come from, no matter what you've been through, no matter what choices you've made in your past, God is always with you, and he loves you irregardless of what you've done or been through in the past. (I am, or relate to, the woman at the well) I'm not sure that I've actually gotten the lesson from this suffering that we are going through now, but I know that there is one there. Even if it is for nothing more than to prove to others that we can endure the pain, or maybe to share the story of how we eventually get better. I don't know if you do much reading, but I finished a book not long ago by Stormie Omartian titled "Just enough light for the step I'm on". It gave me a little more focus during the struggle that I was having after losing my job and also put me back into the mode of taking life a day at the time. I have a lot of trouble not jumping ahead or focusing on the past month, year, decade, and feeling sorry for myself somtimes, or even shameful for the mistakes that I have made. I can't afford to go there (look back). It only makes things worse for me in the long run. And God has forgiven me for those things, so I don't have to keep punishing myself for them.

    I too believe that God intended for us to become friends, but I don't think you ever actually lost your faith or belief in Him. Maybe supressed it a little bit, which is certainly understandable (I did that too), but don't waste any time trying to beat yourself up over it. He knows your heart and He has been with you all along. Job questioned God over all of the torment that he endured much the same as we have questioned Him, so I think that is pretty normal given what we are going through. He is a loving and understanding God and not the punisher that I grew up thinking that He was.

    I'm glad your migraine eased up. Did you get to swim? I think that is awesome!! I look forward to the day that I can have a pool. My friend has one, but it's not the same. I've gained weight and (being my own worst critic) I don't look good in a swimsuit any more. I was in a really abusive relationship before I got back together with my husband and because of all of the stress I had gotten down to 102 pounds, which caused me to lose most of my muscle as well. I'm 5'7" and 102 is way to small for me. I looked really sick. Now that I'm safe and happy and happily married, I've gotten back up to 152 pounds which is about 25 pounds more than I actually wanted to gain and it's mostly all fat now. I hate it!!! I hate diets too though. I have the hardest time sticking to them. I did manage to make it through 2 or 3weeks of the South Beach diet once and lost about 10 pounds, but I've put them back on when I stopped the diet. I may have to drag those books back out and wipe the dust off of them. lol.

    It's much easier with that other window open isn't it? I don't think I could even have a half intelligent conversation with anyone on a message board if I couldn't refer back to the original message. It amazes me how much I can forget in such a short period of time. I have the memory of a goldfish. They forget that they have been fed within 5 minutes of eating, or so I've read somewhere. I'm a fish fanatic. I have a 10 gallon tank of guppies (and they produce live new babies all the time), a 10 gallon tank that only has a plecostamus (algae eater), because his tank mate and my favorite fish (the angel) died a few weeks ago. Old age I think. And I have a 29 gallon tank with a red bellied pacu that weighs about 10 pounds in that one and I need to find him another home. They sell those things at Wal-Mart and they get huge!!! If I had known that at the time, I never would have gotten him. I can't afford to keep buying larger tanks, but I can't stand the though of him dying either. He's like a big (huge) baby that I can hand feed hotdogs to.

    Well that's enough for right now. I'm up and at it again. I'm afraid now that since I slept so long this afternoon that I'll be up half the night again. I can also hear thunder, so that's not a good sign either. With the flare I'm alread in and the storm brewing, I should be in great shape for that doctor's appointment tomorrow. I just hope I can get up and make it. It's about a 30 minute drive - one way. But then again, she is so worth the trip. She actually understands!!!!

    Okay, now, tell me more about you......
    (((((((jules))))))))
    Deb
  11. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hi Deb,
    We're baaaaaaaack!! Okay, I have to know how can you type so fast and so much in such a short time? I type slower than molasses, did I spell that right? Anyways I'm so happy to hear that you got such a long and much needed nap! Unfortunately, I'm almost ready to go to bed. It's almost 9 p.m. here, what time is it there?

    I too have a drs. appt. in the morning with an orthopedic surgeon re: my shoulder and neck pain. I'll let you know how it goes. I did get to go swimming today and it was wonderful. I did most of my workout that I do and most of my laps untill the dreaded migraine started to come back. Oh well, at least I got some exercise!!

    Okay, I am now officially convinced that we are twins! Are you ready for this? Are you sitting down? I also am 5'7' and weigh 155 lbs.!!! Okay, I weigh 3 more lbs. than you but can you believe it??? If you are a blue eyed blond like me than this is too weird! Lol,Lol....

    I know what you mean about being afraid that your doc will think you just want more pain meds to get high. Believe me if she understands this disease as well as it sounds like she does, she will understand. I've been sick with FMS and CFS for 7 years and have had to go on and off pain meds the whole time. I never feel high and it barely covers my pain too! I hope to get off of all of these darn meds someday and be all natural.

    I wish I was'nt so tired or I'd write a short novel like you did,lol,just kidding! It took me forever just to write this post so I'll check back on the board to see if you thought I was in outer space and did'nt see your post,haha! In case you have'nt figured it out I'm a big kidder and love to laugh. I get the feeling in your writing that you are too,am I right?

    I want you to know that I think that you have a beautiful spirit and a kind and loving heart too, and thank you for saying that to me! These days I feel pretty self-absorbed as I know you understand all because of these DD's. I try and spend time with my hubby and kids and my wonderful grandson but it's just not enough. It makes me SO SAD sometimes cause I love them sooooo much and want to be sooooo much more to them!

    Okay, no more pity party! I know that we will get well because of our love and devotion. In the meantime, I'm so glad to have such a very special new friend!

    Thanks for being there Deb,
    Sweat Dreams, Jules
    [This Message was Edited on 06/11/2006]
  12. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member


    Hey Deb,

    I almost forgot to tell you that I'll check back with you tomorrow when I get home from the doc. I hope your doctor's visit goes well tomorrow too!
    Hugs, Jules
  13. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    My typing is actually not all that great. I timed it the other day on a website and it's only about 40wpm if I'm typing text from another document. I should be much faster than that. Those 15 years that I spent in insurance - a lot of that was typing all the time. Had lots of years of practice, I just keep having to back up and correct things. That slows me down some. You should see my husband type. He's a maniac!! I've never seen someone go at it so fast and with that much accuracy. He freaks me out!!!

    We must be fraternal twins. I'm a brunette with hazel eyes. I've always wondered what I would look like as a blonde though. They look green most of the time, but have a lot of a really wierd shade of golden brown in them. My eye doctor even says they're pretty unique in color. I used to have a lot of people ask me if I wore colored contacts. I didn't have to sit down for that one, I was prepared for anything. I think maybe we're twin souls, for sure.

    My time is always about 2 hours ahead of what the board shows. It's 11:47 here while I'm typing this one, and I'm going to try and get a little more sleep before tomorrow. I probably screwed that up by sleeping so long earlier though. I know that you won't get this until tomorrow, but I'll be praying about your appointment and hope that all goes really well. Maybe we can even get on the chat board some tomorrow afternoon. It takes my laptop a while to connect, so I'm not sure how well it will do, but we can try it and see.

    Yes, I'm a big kidder and love to laugh too. Unfortunately I have a funny/sarcastic side and I have to kind of monitor my words to make sure that they don't come out wrong. It's so difficult to control the tone and emotion on a message board.

    I understand you completely on spending more time with your family too. I feel like my husband has been cheated out of the wife that he thought he was getting. I know that all of this has to be very hard for him, but it handles it well most of the time.

    Anyway, I'm going to shorten the novel this time and see if I can get more sleep. Sweet dreams to you too! I'm so happy to have found you!
    ((((((jules)))))))
    Deb



  14. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    Well, that was the easiest doctors appointment I never had. lol. They called and rescheduled me for tomorrow. Said she had an emergeny this afternoon. I hope there's nothing wrong with her or her family. Sounds ugly, but I'm hoping it's just a patient thing, or maybe a "little sceduling problem" or something. She has lupus, as well as fibro and myofascial pain, so I really hope she's not having trouble herself. She had said on our last visit that it was now hurting her in both sides instead of just one because of the weather, she thought. Anyway, I'll be on and off today, so I'll try and watch for you. Maybe we can chat later.
  15. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hi Deb,

    I just got back from my visit to the ortho and the news was'nt very good. I was trying to think positive and told myself that my shoulder and neck pain was just from the Fibro. Remember I told you that I had a cervical fusion and discectomy on my neck and also rotater cuff repair surgery on my shoulder in 2002?

    Well, I went to the same doc who did my husbands surgery's on his neck and on his lower back. He's one of the best ortho's in Nevada and did an excellent job for my hubby. You had asked me before how he is doing and I forgot to reply to that. Anyways, he had the back surgery in Feb. and is doing fantastic but will be off work until he finishes school in May of next year.

    Hopefully when he sees his doc this Wed. he will release him from PT and we can get his PPD scheduled! His lawyer says that it should only take 1-3 months to get his back settlement. I guess that's been what I've been waiting for so that I could take a medical leave or go on disability and we could afford it.

    Okay, I know I'm rambling, sorry! I went to the doc this morning as you know and they did exrays of my neck and shoulder. Well, it seems that I have an impingment in my shoulder and bone spurs in the discs above and below where I had the fusion and some decompression in the disc above. So, my doc gave me an injection of lidocaine and some other stuff, I forget, to help the spasms in my shoulder. I will be having a discogram and an MRI as well as PT for 6 weeks. The doc said that I will probably have to have surgery on my neck again and he'll know more after the MRI and discogram. Not the best news, huh?

    I held it together until I left the drs. office and got in my car then I lost it! I was hoping to never have another surgery again, you know? The doc told me that I should at the least take a 3-6 month medical leave to keep my medical insurance then possibly go for disability after that. He said that he would write a letter to give to my boss and the distict and to let him know when I need it. He also said he would help in any way should I decide to file for disability as well.

    My hubby was very understanding when I came home and said not to worry that we would make it and that he would be there for me thru it all! It made me feel so much better to know that I have his support and that he really understands! He said something that I had not even thought about. He said thank God it's not from the Fibro cause that can't be fixed with surgery, he's right I know and I should feel better but have mixed emotions!

    Thanks for letting me purge and for being there for me! I appreciate it sooooo much! I loved what you said about us being twin souls on your post last nite and I agree! I feel God in my spirit today more than ever and know it's all going to be allright! To be honest it's all the phone calls and research on disability that I'm not looking forward too! It just feels so overwhelming to deal with right now!

    I would love to go on the chat and talk to you today! When would you like to "meet me" there?

    I hope your'e feeling better today and got some sleep last nite!
    Many soft fibro-hugs, Jules
  16. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    I am so sorry to hear that you may need another surgery. I can sympathize with that one as well as anyone can. I've had so many and I do not want any more. Of course, God is still in the business of doing miracles, let's see if we can get that one taken care of!! I can't imagine the amount of emotional drain you have had today. How are you feeling otherwise? You know dealing with this can cause you to have other fm problems, so please try and think positively and believe with all that you have in you that it's going to be okay. I believe that!! I prayed for you just this morning, and I know that He answers. I wish I could have been there for you for real when you got out of the doctors office.

    Okay, here we go. You're going to have to take the medical leave. This is so similar to the situation that I believe God put me in. I couldn't bring myself to quit, just like you're fighting taking the leave. He gave me no choice when I wouldn't do it on my own. That was what was best for me and the leave will no doubt be what's best for you. How did hubby hurt his back? I don't think we've talked about that one yet, or if we did, my pea sized brain doesn't remember it. Is he able to draw anything right now, is what I am getting at. Any kind of income that could get you through the month or two it might take before he gets his settlement... I promise you, God does provide. I have not had to do without anything since I have been off.

    Next, impingment meaning pinched nerve? A chiropractor can get that out. I have those pretty often and it takes a couple of visits or so, but he does the trick. The bone spurs scare me. I don't have those, but I hear that they can be pretty painful. I did work with a guy that got some accupuncture done for his and it worked for a long time(just trying to figure out how to work around everything without more surgery unless it's absolutely necessary) I'm not too crazy about the idea of accupuncture though, so I wouldn't blame you if you weren't either.

    As far as the PT goes, if you can find a PT that knows about fm, that will help. They know to be easier on you, that your body can't handle all that at one time like "normal" people. I had a wonderful lady ((PT) that had myofascial knots and she is actually the one that taught me how to use the tool to work my own knots out. Please tell me that you'll get a second opinion before you subject yourself to any more surgery. I know you're not looking forward to the tests either. But, your husband is right. At least that can be corrected (one way or another).

    I need to do some research on the disability myself, but I can't make myself do it knowing that I don't have my husband's support on it. Take some time and let everything sink in before you even begin to start worrying yourself over all the disability stuff. I'm having another rough day, but it's not quite as bad as the last one. I've run out of pain meds now and I don't see the doctor until tomorrow now. I hope she's there. It's 2:37 here (about 2 hours off from what the board shows) I'll keep bouncing back and forth to the chat room and see if you're there.....giving you time to read this first, of course.

    Sorry, I got in such a hurry that I've become illiterate!!
    [This Message was Edited on 06/12/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 06/12/2006]
  17. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hi Deb,

    Thanks for writing back so fast! An inpingement is like bursitis only in my case the bursa is inflamed to where my rotater cuff is rubbing on it!

    You're right, I need to chill today and deal with this stuff later. I'm too emotional right now!

    My hubby has been off work for 3 YEARS!!! Yes, he is getting monthly checks from workman's comp. but at only a third of his old income as an auto mechanic! At least thet are retraining him and paying for him to get his Engineering liscense and he will finish next May.

    The doc gave me a shot to help the pain in my shoulder but it's feeling worse! Wonder if it's cause of the fibro? I need to go lay down in a bit and put some ice on it.

    I'll check the chat to see if you're there!

    Hugs, Jules
  18. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    Think I'm going to have to wait until later to get on the chat board. Hubby just got home a few minutes ago (6:43 here now) so needless to say, I'm hurting pretty bad by now and the heat is not really doing anything more than making me sweat. I'm so stiff that I can't really move well at all. I'm going to take some pain med now that he's home and see if I can't get it eased up enough to get on the board later tonight. If you feel like it later tonight, say around 10, my time, just let me know and I'll try to jump back into the same chat room. If you don't feel like it, don't worry. You've had a pretty full day already and I'll understand.

    Also curious to know if you ever eased up from that shot?? I'm really hoping so. I also hope that you're feeling better about everything, but I know that it will probably take some time. It's okay, and perfectly natural to dread and regret it. I went through that part too. I just couldn't bring myself to quit. At least they're supportive of and going to allow you to take a medical leave and who knows, you might feel like going back after some rest and taking care of your body for a while. It will all work out the way that it's meant to be and the way that will be the best for you in the long run.

    I really enjoyed our chat earlier, so much. You're a hoot!! It's nice to get a feel for your personality, and hillarious that we have so much in common and were "reading" each other. That's pretty awesome!! Anyway, hate to cut it short, but I've got to get some relief. If I didn't think it would kill me or get me committed, I'd take several of them right now!!! I feel like pooh!! Take care and I'll look for you later. If we don't talk tonight, I'll catch you tomorrow. My doctor's appointment is at 1, so I'll probably be on in the morning for a little while before I get ready to go too. Good night, and sweet dreams (just in case I don't catch you later)
    (((((((jules)))))))
    Deb
  19. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Deb,
    I'm sorry you're feeling so crummy and hope you can get some relief with the meds you have now! Thanks for letting me know that you would'nt be able to chat until later! I completely understand and I hope you take it easy and take good care of yourself tonite.

    Does your hubby cook for you? Maybe he could make dinner for you tonite and you could have some good "cuddling time". I know that always makes me feel better as long as hubby is gentle with you and realizes it's just cudding,haha!

    Yes, I am feeling better now since earlier when the shot I had seemed to make me feel worse. Between icing it and a little swim to cool off and loosen up my shoulder which really helped. Now I'm just gonna take it easy tonite and go to bed a little early.

    I'll try and meet you for a chat at 8 my time and 10 yours,k? I too really enjoyed our chat earlier and it was great to feel like we were really talking, you know? You have an awesome sense of humor too! It amazes me how much our sense of humor is alike! Oh no, another thing we have in common,haha!

    The same goes for you, if I come back on later and you're still feeling like poopoo and can't make it we'll talk tomorrow,k?

    Gonna go ice some more,
    Hugs, Jules
  20. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    I'm here. I think!! I remember why I don't take this particular medication any more!! I've carried on a conversation with myself(basically)for the last hour and a half until my honey's ears are bleeding!! He hasn't said but about 10 words and I've talked non stop and still hurting. They don't do anything for my pain, just make me talk a lot and I hate that!! I may never sleep again either..... I'm here pilfering around and will try and meet you on the board at 10 (or 8)