Embarrassing Financial Depression...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Fallingstar, Jan 23, 2003.

  1. Fallingstar

    Fallingstar New Member

    Does anyone else have this problem? I have always been "on top" of my bills and bank account but anymore, I'm sooo tired that I sleep most of the time and I don't balance my checkbook for several days at a time and sometimes I make stupid mistakes that I never used to do like, a couple times lately I re-added a deposit twice, etc. Well naturally I bounced several checks and I feel terrible! I keep thinking I'll get a grip on this tiredness and be more responsible but it never happens anymore. My husband already works 7 days a week and I work Sat. mornings but I've messed things up so bad that it will be weeks before I get my head above water. I can tell my husband is mad at me about it but he won't come right out and say it. He has good reason because the bank charges $26 for each bounced check and I feel so depressed about what I've done. I thought about getting a temporary job to catch up but I know realistically that I can't handle it. I get so tired just doing dishes, etc. that I have to go back to bed after I'm up about 4 hrs. for awhile.
    I feel like I'm very irresponsible but no one understands just how tired I am. My husband doesn't want to take over the finances either. Any suggestions?
  2. Lendi

    Lendi New Member

    I used to check my account every week on line. Now, I'm lucky if it's up to date every month. I just "estimate". But, the thing that has been the worse is I forget to pay the bills. I'm just so tired, I think ok it's due in 2 weeks, write the check. Then, I'll either forget or write the check and forget to mail it. That is not good on the credit history. The sad thing is, I have the money marked for them, but just forget. I call this a part of my brain fog and I'm leaving myself notes to try to help. But, I don't know. It's not good.
  3. SCARLETT415

    SCARLETT415 New Member

    Hi Fallingstar,
    I also have messed up our bank account on several occasions. I simply "forget to pay bills on time. Every once in a while I will get into a groove and get a rhythm going that I can handle and then my FM will flare and I forget everything. My husband works 10-12 hour days and doesn't want to be bothered with keeping up with the finances. However, I know I am not doing a good job. I don't work (Wish I Could!!!) so I also feel like I should at least contribute by making sure the bills are paid on time. I am also dealing with two car accidents in a years time so I have lots of bills related to them and lawyers calling. (Both accidents I was the victim) However, my insurance or me pays first then I have to "settle". I am so foggy that I cannot trust my brain to make the right decision. One of these days, the sun will start to shine again and the bulbs will poke through and I will get rejuvenated and clear my head by walking outside and breathing fresh air. Somehow, spring always makes me feel better. Are you in a cold snowy part of the country? In N.W. Pa. we are in a deep freeze. Summer will be here before we know it. Do your symptoms improve with the weather? Just know you are not alone in your "financial depression".
  4. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    I've been dealing with bank problems and difficulty paying bills for years. The first step I took was to get carbon checks. Before I started using them I frequently forgot to enter my checks into my checkbook register, which of course made it difficult to have a clue how much was in my account.

    This was over ten years ago, so having the bank do it was not an option. I still haven't heard of that from my bank, or any others around here.

    My next problem came when I started having trouble with simple math calculations. So I began using a calculator. As soon as I got a computer, about 9 years ago, I started keeping my accounts on my computer. Now I can usually keep it balanced. If it doesn't come out even I leave it for the day and when I go back the next day I am usually able to find my error.

    I write the due dates on the envelopes of my bills, but that doesn't help when I am so tired I don't have the energy to even look at them!

    I hope you can use some of these ideas.

  5. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Hi Fallingstar, join the crowd with the messed up bank accounts!

    It would take a week for me to tell how often I mess up, and I used to be a bookkeeper! Hows that for embarrassing?

    I would hate to tell how many times I pay bills late and have to pay the late charge when there is no reason for that, except that I got to a point where I hate to keep the accounts anymore, and wait till the last minute to make out the checks.

    Don't feel bad, we are all in the same boat with these things.

    Again, welcome to the board.

    Shalom, Shirl
  6. imgreat

    imgreat New Member

    fibro fog is the worst! I got a call saying I hadn't paid my rent (two months earlier)! Aghhhhhhh! Luckily my 23 year old now takes care of my bill paying for me. I would wait for a day when I felt I could maybe handle writing out bills - but days would roll by and things were left undone. It was hard swallowing my pride to let my daughter take over but- It's for the best. Maybe you have a close friend that could work with you? People sure don't understand looking at a fairly young woman and not getting it that mentally most days I think and remember like a very old person. It's the invisable disability that causes so much pain at times! There's lots of us out here that understand! Look for ways to help yourself and be forgiving on the tough days! :)
    imgreat and so are u !!!
  7. jojo1011

    jojo1011 New Member

    Hi, I think I may be able to help. This may take some time and effort but it will avoid you lots of fees. I'm a personal banker and have done this for lots of people. First, if you don't have direct deposit of payroll, get it. It will avoid you the hassle of going to the bank to deposit money, and prevent you from spending the money. Next, get direct debit for all of your bills. Almost all billers, even gas companies offer direct debit. Make sure that you schedule the dates for the debits around the same time that your paychecks will be deposited. Get internet banking, if your bank doesn't offer it, find one that does. This way you can keep track of what comes in and out of your accouont, and it will be balanced for you.
    I wish you the best of luck!!!
  8. Fallingstar

    Fallingstar New Member

    Thanks everyone for your input! I'm feeling a little better about it all now knowing I'm not "alone". I do live where it's cold right now and snowy so yes, I'm looking forward to spring for a mental attitude change. I find being in the sun does help me to feel better and take on things with a little bit of a different attitude. I think having bills paid electronically from the checking might help me. I have 3 bills I do that way now but hopefully I can work with some places that will allow me to do this for all of my bills.I feel so much better when my finances are under control. I asked my husband if the police come to take me to jail, could I sleep on those cots as long as I want to? He said I probably could! LOL! Just kidding! I won't go to jail!