Euphemisms for Workplace Incompetence 1. I suppose every village needs at least one idiot... 2. He's a full six pack, but he's missing the plastic thing that holds them together. 3. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate. 4. She's as useful as a screen door on a submarine. 5. I am convinced that there are millions of brilliant people in this world...and none of them work for us. 6. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. 7. I don't think she's plugged in. 8. The cheese slid off his cracker years ago. 9. A term used by a member who works in a tech department: PICNIC: Problem in Chair, Not In Computer 10. He came in late, but he'll make it up by leaving early. 11. At one workplace, they call the person who is exempt from the rules and who is not expected to do any work, the boss's "Prize Pig." 12. She must have checked her brain at the door and lost the claim ticket. 13. One member worked with a manager who called anyone incompetent, "A waste of skin." 14. She has delusions of adequacy. 15. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled. 16. He is just one taco short of a combination plate. 17. One member, who works in a library, often says that, "Her book is missing the last chapter." 18. He's on the fast track to forced retirement. 19. There's no engineer on THAT train of thought.... 20. it’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.