I just had quite a "talk" with my boyfriend. I was bawling my eyes out in frustration and fear of this stupid illness... and he gets so frustrated at me when I talk about it. So I thought I'd try Once Again to help him understand what it's like. I asked him what he would do if he woke up tomorrow morning and couldn't get out of bed. He thought for a second... and said "call in sick"... I was quite sure he knew what I meant so I didn't say anything... I assumed he was kidding. Then he said to me "I've delt with something worse, not Wanting to get out of bed." I was in complete shock. He has seen me have to quit my job, quit school, cry my eyes out about both of these, watched me lay like a vegetable in bed not even able to hold a conversation... So I calmly said ..."umm... worse?" And he was quiet. Then he asked if I'd ever thought about killing myself... and he said he'd been at a point in his life where he had come close to that. Which is AWFUL of course... so I said "that must feel terrible". Then I asked why he brought that up. By this time he is sounding Very Annoyed and just said he's sorry he brought it up and could he please just go to sleep. I said no. Which of course made him more annoyed. Now I'm not saying depression isn't as real and as serious as cfs... but why bring that up?? Is it a competition?? The only thing I can think of is that he must just have been frustrated and tired and just trying to say something hurtful. ANYWAY my point is... How do we cope with the people in our lives who don't want to admit there is something wrong? When they get so angry just talking about it that we can't even talk to them about it? I'm SO angry at him right now I could spit... which makes me feel guilty because it's not his fault I'm sick and I don't want to sound like other people don't have problems too. But it's like he doesn't even want to understand what I'm going through... like he's just going to pretend I'm fine. I know it's VERY hard on him too... but does that mean I can't be upset about being sick? I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense... I'm just hurt and sad and upset and didn't know who else to talk to... Of course it's entirely possible that I'm super emotional from our talk and talking about being sick that I'm blowing the whole thing out of proportion.