ever gotten totally dressed to leave and

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by homesheba, Jun 7, 2008.

  1. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    then said' forget it',
    and got undressed and put back on old clothes and stayed home?
    i seem to be doing that more and more!...
    i think im becoming a hermit.
    i am tired of dealing with everyone and trying to keep going when i dont feel like it.
    yes i want to go to lunch with my friends ,and i want to go shopping ,and hang out, and all that, but i just stinking cant anymore.
    im not sure if i am scared or mad all the time either... do you ever just think it will get worse instead of better?
    are you scared of being bed ridden totally?
    do you see your life slipping away and nothing to leave behind
    and not being hardly a memory to anyone?
    i dont mean to sound so depressing but these are things i think about.
    this getting old thing is tough.
    i keep waiting for something 'new' to crop up
    in or on my bod-
    and foget love making!
    ha! i do good to get a bath anymore.
    anyway just wanted to post a bit before the day starts here.
    sometimes i get lonely and thank goodness i am connected still to the outside world with this computer
    or my poor dogs would be crazy
    with me harping to them all the time.. hee hee
  2. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Yes, to all the above but no answers. It is depressing to feel this way and I hate it. Sometimes I just want to give up but keep pushing and hoping.

    God Bless You,
  3. rickj44

    rickj44 Member

    I would also say yes,and double yes. It was a great disappointment to my wife when we would plan to do something and i would change my mind that day, just not feeling well enough to leave the house.

    I know its not fun going out and all your thinking about is your bed.

    Becuase of the pressure pain i have, and i cannot lay in one spot for too long, The longer i lay, the greater the pain.
    i have on going nighmares that when i am older and bedridden, and unable to communicate, i will be in terrible pain with nobody to help me.

    I have told me wife this and i am not sure if she really understands..
    I guess the best thing is to go fast.. when the time comes.. what a depressing post>>>LOL

    I dont know your life and am not sure what you mean by leaving something behind.

    I can't imgine a person having this illness and having no one in there life... no family, no friends.


  4. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Like greatgran, yes to all
  5. harmony21

    harmony21 New Member

    except I have cats who at times DO NOT get fed when they are supposed to s is the family

    I can no longer socialise and do things around the home its either one or the other OR I spend two days in bed sleeping

    And sweating ALL the time whilst in activity I think

    Sometimes i cannot tell the doctor what has been happening, is it the same? worse? better? anyway WHAT is it????

    Do not feel alone

    angel hugs and blessings

  6. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Yes, I have gotten ready to head out the door, decided to bag it, and settled for a day on the sofa. So much is just too much that it is scary.
  7. SusanEU

    SusanEU New Member

    I had been doing this years, even before my official diagnosis. This is why I shunned friends, workmates and dating.

    Been better lately, but know exactly how you feel...

    Sue in Ontario
  8. puffant

    puffant New Member

    I was feeling this way about a month ago and wrote this in my blog.

    Sometimes I wonder what is the reason for all of this,

    Sometimes I wonder why go on,

    Sometimes I wonder if this is all worth while.

    I am in constant total pain 24/7 and wonder why I do go on.

    Why is God letting me hurt so much and then not being able to take something for the pain?

    There are so many things I have had to give up because of this. I can no longer walk more than 30 feet or so, I can no longer ride my bicycle the 8 miles I used to, I can't even sweep or mop my own floors in my small home!

    Sometimes I think of just quitting on life, but then, I think of my family, my husband, my 3 children, my 6 grandchildren and my 2 beautiful little great grand daughters. This is the reason I go on.

    They are my life, my joy and my salvation! I love them all so very much.

    I will survive this day!

  9. landra

    landra New Member

    to have lunch with a friend and go to the library. And she understands my disability.

    I live by myself, so I have to go out and run little errands, and of course I have to get to the Dr's appointments. So about 2-3 days a week I am out of the house for an hour or 2. But every afternoon, I have to lay down, sleep sometimes, or I get wiped out!

    Figuring it out for myself has kept me from doing too much and then crashing. And doing a little bit helps my mood - the librarian, the pharmacist and people at Walgreen's, even some of the people at the pet store know I am disabled and don't expect much but they are always nice. My dogs go with me and stop somewhere that they can explore - sometimes just the Walgreen's parking lot!~

    I also have friends I talk to by phone. Due to schedules that was our most common form of contact before I got sick.

    But today I am missing a family birthday party because I have a bronchitis like cough, some hot flashes, aching all over. I need to stay in bed so that it does not get worse and "eat up my life." The little I have!
  10. fincher

    fincher Member

    Yes - these are the things we can't really talk about with the "normal" people. They don't want to hear it, because it scares them I think. I also feel like I'm slowly slipping away. I'm 49 and scared of what will happen when I get old, because I can't make myself physically fit now due to the ME/CFS. I feel like I'm slowly getting worse over the past two years, and I am afraid of ending up bedridden because I push myself still to appear normal. I go to work full-time and need to get in five more years to get a full retirement to help support me for the rest of my life. Every morning I wonder how I'm going to make it. I have a wonderful husband who takes care of practically everything else for me, and I don't know why I'm so lucky. I don't feel like I give much back at all. I'm still searching for answers, and I'm still hopeful there will be a real one someday, but yes, I am scared too! And I'm mad, too! Isn't it just nice to know we're not all alone? If not for places like this, I'd think I was nuts!

  11. findmind

    findmind New Member

    Oh, yes! How exactly you describe it.

    Easter Sunday, my youngest of two daughters, who moved here after 20 years in another state, was having dinner at her house. She felt it was important she have the dinner there because for those 20 years, my other daughter and I had all the dinners at our houses.

    She went to a lot of bother and expense to have everything just so, and I got up, bathed and dressed, and had to call her and tell her I was so sick I couldn't get there. She was soooo hurt and disappointed, poor thing. I felt awful about it, but there was no way I could drive the 25 miles and back home.

    I knew better...usually, when I want to go someplace important or very badly, I make sure I bathe and get my clothes ready the evening beforehand, so all I have to do is get up, eat, and go.

    Pacing, it's all about pacing. The only way to have even a bit of a life.

    I hope you will keep in touch with everyone you can, if only once in a while, so you don't feel all alone. Our families have a hard time understanding this horrible illness, so we need to make sure they know our status at all times, whether they want to or not, LOL!

    I hope you feel better, like I do, knowing our friends are always here for us...and I do mean HERE!

  12. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    dont call and invite me places cause they just figure that i wont show up anyway
    and that kinda hurts but then again,
    ill just be as depressed if i know about a party or get together and couldnt go anyway...
    id like to get out and do things for others
    but too stinking weak.
    how can a person get some strength?
  13. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    I've canceled tons and tons of plans over the years. So much so, that I've just plain stopped making plans anymore. I've come to accept that I am no longer reliable. I cannot guarantee anyone that I can be anywhere on any given day at any time. It just won't happen. And that's why I can't work. I never know how I'll be. You might get me for one day, for a few hours in a week. Or maybe you'll get real lucky and get me for two days, but then I'll be dead sick for two weeks. Such is the nature of this disease.

    I went to a Strawberry Festival last week with a friend. My idea. My very stupid idea. I was sick right up until we went. I had no idea if I'd be able to go. I almost canceled out a million times. Then we went and didn't stay very long, thank God. But I really almost canceled out on her at the very last second.

    Having to be anywhere puts enormous stress on me. If I have a real appointment and I know I have to be there. It's like OMG. I have no idea if I can, and I end up actually getting sicker from the stress of not knowing if I can go. It has gotten to the point where if I didn't have to leave the house, I probably wouldn't. More than ninety percent of the time, I'm just not well enough. And the other tiny percent, I go to the store and do the little errand things that I have to do to live.

    I've missed every wedding and birth in my family for the last seventeen years. I haven't been able to go to anything.

    DRAGONSGIRL New Member

    I think it's because (for me) I am at the mercy of others, out in the world.
    And there is so much concrete!
    At home I know where everything is and my husband put in new carpet with double padding in case I lose my balance and miss my "saver handhold" and go all the way to the floor.
    And when I go out it's like an obsticle course out there.
    I have to be constantly aware of every move I make. Looking out for cracks or bumps or curbs because of my walker. And you get the idea.
    And way too many people! And most of them rude!
    It's just too exhausting and stressful.
    Why I like being a "hermit"
  15. redhearts2

    redhearts2 New Member

    May 12..was my grandsons 1st birthday...had to call my son and tell him i wouldn't be able to make it to the party...don't know wich hurt more...the disappointment in his voice...or the fact that i once again, missed a stepping stone or my physical pain...it gets more difficult everyday, month and year to live with this DD.
  16. frosty77

    frosty77 New Member

    Yes, definitely have changed my mind. I don't often make plans as working full time kills me, but every now and then I do. Example, we had paid to go to a comedy on New Years Eve - when I got out of work that day I knew I was in serious trouble. I laid down for a few hours which did nothing. I finally forced myself to go, because we don't do much these days, but it was not fun.

    Stress before as someone pointed out, is also a factor. I had committed to going to a casino bus trip Saturday (2 1/2 hour ride each way, had to get up at 5:30am, then 8 hours at the casino). The stress before was actually worse than the trip. I did enjoy the trip (though waiting in line for a buffet lunch was awful - felt like I was going to collapse) though I wound up sleeping the whole next day (about 15 hours).