Ever Wonder Why Your Phone Doesn't Ring

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MJJBunny, Aug 19, 2003.

  1. MJJBunny

    MJJBunny New Member

    I was thinking about this the other day and realized that nearly all the relationships I had prior to my need to stop working have disappeared.

    People that I saw everyday for ten years never bothered to call. People that I thought of as close friends are gone. Then there are the relatives who don't understand. I don't want to talk to them.

    The reason that my phone doesn't ring is that I no longer bother to initiate any friendships. They are too draining. I barely talk to neighbors and only do so when I have to. I have my husband who supports me 100%+ and I consider myself so lucky to have him.

    Does your phone ring?
  2. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    You are so right! When I first stopped working I lost my best friend (She was tired, too.), and soon my other friends stopped calling. One teacher friend (I was a teacher) and one student friend have remained constant. I have no husband, so I am very grateful for them , as I am my 2 dogs and a cat. I have since moved into the mountains, the only place I can afford to live, and have met some people, and one may become a friend. She is a compassionate person. My old student is still a friend, and the old teacher, though we seldome speak. I find I just keep away from people who don't understand, and from social situations, because I am just too weak. I am sorry you are going through this, also. God bless our husband, and you, too. Keep your chin up. Terry
  3. IgotYou

    IgotYou New Member

    Not to diminish your loneliness - this post is all in fun - but maybe you should count your blessings. I think phone calls are very overrated. I have to listen to the $%&#)&@ phone ring at work all day, and when I get home I have telemarketers calling all night. Yes, friends and family also call, but even that can be draining. After working all day at the office, fixing dinner, washing dishes, overseeing homework and chores, making my husband happy, and cleaning the house, the last thing I want to deal with is another phone call. I'm too darned exhausted to engage in small talk - or even meaningful talk. I'm a terrible friend - I don't ever call anyone - but fortunately nobody lets me get away with being a hermit! God bless them, annoying as they are I'm glad they're sticking with me.
  4. CrazyHorseLady

    CrazyHorseLady New Member

    mjjbunny...........
    After having cancer and now FMS I always felt that people were concerned that it was contagious. No really. They'd offer to do an errand, pick up a 1/2 gallon of milk and then when I did call, they'd sound horrified. I felt like a leper or something. So I just got used to doing mostly for myself and I have been lucky enough to have a husband who has stayed with me through illness and takes up some slack occasionally.
    That's just been my personal experience.
    CrazyHorseLady
  5. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    I guess I am in more agreement with IGotYou on this subject.

    I had a phone that never stopped ringing for years and years. I do not know how I stood all those conversations now, sometimes I talked to people almost all night long that had problems, as everyone knew I was awake.

    I moved to the country, the calls would be longdistance to most everyone I know, so therefore the phone is pretty quite except for my children/grandchildren who call infrequently, and my husband who works away from home a lot, he will call everyday when he is not here.

    A couple of friends I speak to about once a month, and that is about it.

    I do know that talking on the phone drains my energy almost as much as too much company will do.

    I do not miss all that fast pace life I lived in the city, it was find while it lasted, but I am glad its over and I hope I never have to live too close to neighbors or anyone else anymore.

    I love the solitude, peace and quiet in this world I created for myself, with these illnesses we are not so good at spontaneous calls and visits!

    I also have call ID, if I do not feel well enough to talk, then I just let the machine answer and call whoever back when I feel my energy level is up to it.

    My dogs are my furkids and the very best of company for me. They are not demanding, and they love me no matter how I feel, they don't question me either.

    All my life I loved to read, I would always say that my books were my best friends, they sat on the shelves and were always there when I need them :) They are still there, and I still love them.

    Shalom, Shirl

  6. Felce

    Felce New Member

    I have recently took a leave from work to have several spinal procedures done. The other evening I was sitting there thinking there is not a single person who cares except for my husband, I thank God for him everyday. The phone never rings, and if it does it is usually someone who has something negative to say. When I see neighbors I usually go the other way. Thier phony question, so how are you doing is so unsincere I`d rather they didn`t ask. Yes so called frindships are draining. I`m a Christian and I have the Lord to depend on totally. God said he will never leave me or forsake me, and I know that`s real. I totally relate to your post. I`ve been praying God will send REAL friends in my life, I`ll pray he sends some to you. Sincerely, Felce
  7. granmakitty12

    granmakitty12 New Member

    this sounds like something I would have written. Almost word for word. I feel exactly the same way. I even go to a different town for groceries to avoid people I might know. I know they all think that I am not working; but I look ok; so what is her problem. I love the solitude and peace of not having close friendships anymore.

    Peace, Granmakitty
  8. Lexied

    Lexied New Member

    I have ONE really true friend that calls me EVERY day and I thank God for her. She is much older than me (She's 72 - I'm 38) and she was brought up when neighbors helped each other. She has been so faithful to call each morning and check on me - she always asks if I need anything and has taken me to doctors appts., tests, pick up prescriptions and has even done some grocery shopping for me. There have been several occasions when I was in a bad flare and she brought over entire cooked meals for my husband and I. Do you see why I am so thankful for her?!! I always THOUGHT I had a lot of friends but since I've been sick I've learned that I was wrong! I'm not complaining though, QUALITY is much better than QUANTITY!!

    Thankful - Lex