i have always been a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. but more so now than ever. one thing that i have noticed since i've had fm and all these other issues is that i am more aware. i understand things better. i appreciate more. and i am closer to god, even though i have been spiritual my whole life. i am still not the biggest and best christian, but u know what i mean. before i got sick i was a cna and i did home health care. there were so many things i took for granted. there was one patient that i became very good friends with and still am. as funny as it is the day i put in my notice to my agency she called them to have me fired. saying that i needed a doctor not patients. that i needed an aid not to be one. she had watched me dwindle away. i worked for this woman for over a year. and she is still one of my closest friends. she saw me go from working 60 hours a week to 40 to 20 then to 9. she saw me go from lifting a 180lb man 5 days a week multiple times a day. to barely being able to carry her grocery bags up the steps. even though i have so much pain and i have gone from doing so much to so little. i realize so many things and i am at so much more peace than i was before. my point is to you all to realize the things that are around you. to realize that everything happens for a reason that only you can figure out. just because you are going thru this does not mean its the end of everything.