Everyone says go to WORK!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Lana56, Jul 26, 2003.

  1. Lana56

    Lana56 New Member

    Hi Everyone,
    Just wondering if anyone else has people around them telling them to go to work.They say i look good,dress well so there has to be something i can do.UnfortunatelyI am facing a time that i will have NO income.I followed the disability all the way to the end and was still denied.No hope of getting any help.My pain level is high and all I want to do is cry in fear of my survival.I am married to a wonderful man,but at this time we are facing a problem.He is introuble with the law(for something he DID NOT DO)and could face a prison sentence if found guilty.We are good people and have never done a thing wrong.We are devastated and He is worried about me if he is taking away.The stress is making me sick and i am angry with people simply saying I can go to work! Thankyou for listening Lana56
  2. jadibeler

    jadibeler New Member

    I'm lucky. My friends, the few I have, understand my illness, but my cousin with CFS hears that all the time, from people who have known her for years but just don't get it. We would both LOVE to go to work, we are both financially in trouble, but it's just out of the question. It bother's Polly so much that people keep telling her this when she had tried to explain. At least her son has finally started to take her seriously - but not seriously enough to help her with the things she can't do!

    I'm wondering why you don't qualify for SOME assistance, such as food stamps. Probably because your married and - at the moment - your husband works. Call your Assistance office and ask them if you would qualify while your husband is incarcerated, if it comes to that.

    What a terrible thing to have to go through. The stress is only making you worse.

  3. MiahRoo

    MiahRoo New Member

    I would give ANYTHING to be able to work. I absolutely loathe being so ill that I can not have a job. It's the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Work has always brought me a sense of worth. There are some people in my life (very few thankfully!) that seem to think I'm at home for the fun of it or that I'm just being lazy and can get well if I just give it a little effort. You just can't allow that to get you down. I do some odd jobs once in a while for family members when I'm feeling well enough to keep myself feeling somewhat useful. I care for my 3 year old nephew when I can. I've spent this entire summer trying to paint the garage and parts of the house but I've only gotten the first coat onto the garage door! Pace yourself. Do what you can. If you can't do anything, well then you just can't. There's no shame in that.
  4. elaine_p

    elaine_p New Member

    sorry to hear about your tough situation. If you were denied SSDI, you might be able to reapply before your benefits expire. (You can call SSA to find out when they do.) If you didn't have an attorney, now might be a good one to find out how to strengthen your case or something. Another option is to write your senator and explain the disability situation. (My SSDI was denied. My lawyer suggested we not pursue it to the Federal Circuit Court level, since they usually rubber-stamp the lower court's decisions in my area. So, I'm going to reapply soon. If I'm denied then, I'm writing a letter....)
  5. Eastfork

    Eastfork New Member

    that you have to go to work? Are they your family, friends or Drs.? You are the only one that knows if you are able to work! I am so sorry that you are going through this nightmare!! Unfortunately I have gone through something that sounds alot like what you are facing. My husband was also accused of a horrible crime that he did not do. We made it through but it wasn't easy and it wasn't pretty but somehow we made it. I did not have this DD before our ordeal, but I know that that nightmare was one of the triggers ( along with 2 auto accidents ). I feel so sorry for you and now I am crying remembering everything. Please E-mail me and if nothing else I will listen, because I have been there and I survived and YOU WILL TOO!!!!
    Love, Mary
  6. Lana56

    Lana56 New Member

    Thankyou to all of you for your kind and understanding words.I must remind myself that I know if I can work or not and not let people get to me.Yes I know they have no clue to this illness and what we really live with.Thankyou for understanding the stress I am under with my husbands situation too.I can use all the suport I can get
  7. Jen F

    Jen F New Member

    tell them you are disabled but denied benefits and see if they can be of any help.

    Sorry your husband has been accused of something he didn't do, just what you need, eh?

    Boy, oh boy...

    Hang in there.

  8. Lana56

    Lana56 New Member

    Hi everyone,
    I have appreciated all your support.Just thought I would explain something about my disability case.I had a lawyer first of all and my case went to the highest court-i never stopped fighting! I was still denied.By that time my insured time was up.Then since I had not worked in ten years I have no work credits to be able to ever apply again.I went to my senators,wrote letters,wrote to the governor etc etc...They did nothing but tell me that Social Security told them my case is finished.It is not fair!Now with my husband maybe being taken away from me(how I feel)I will have NO income.I have been looking into services I may be able to get and everyone tells me if i am not considered disabled they would tell me to go to work and support myself.One person said they would find a job for me and if I didn't take it,then I would get NO help.I am in constant pain and sick with what is ahead.
    If any of you are in the process with disability-don't give up!Get a lawyer who is working for YOU and only give medical records that benefit your case.If you see doctors never say to them you have some good days or anything like that-they write things like that and it can be held against you.I have a lot of advise-sorry I was not smarter when the time was right for me.Thankyou to all of you for caring.
  9. todayisagift

    todayisagift New Member

    how you feel, I have applied for SSI benefits but I haven't heard an answer yet. But my family wants me to try to get a small job but I know it will be hard when I go back to school in the fall. I am going to graduate school for psychology starting in September and that will take up a lot of my time and I know it will be tiring too. But I hate not having an income and being a burden to everyone. Plus I have a leased car that has now become my parent's burden which I feel so bad about. They are having a hard time affording it but they know that I didn't do it on purpose. They are very understanding about it. I really am praying that I get the SSI. I know it is difficult to obtain though.
  10. Jen F

    Jen F New Member

    Sounds like you have exhausted so many avenues, even writing to your Senator, etc.

    It's because of your situation that those of us who can must fight to get CFS and FM more recognized.

    That's terrible what you are going through.

    You must pray and pray again that your husband will be cleared and that you will continue to be supported.

    Have you thought about or tried the media?

  11. Jackalope

    Jackalope New Member

    Gosh what an awful situation, you certainly don't need more stress to make it worse. I have been through what you are going through, only I don't have fibro, my hubby does.

    He went through a bitter divorce and his ex wife thought it a good game to make up stories that he did something he didn't do. It took over a year to fight this, but we got through it, with the police and social services, and Don's ex wife was found out to be a liar and a game player. She even had to give up custody of her child to us, who she kept Don from seeing for that year. The stress was unreal, but my love gave Don the strength to fight.
    I will say a prayer for you, and please know that you are in my thoughts.

    Big hugs,
  12. Lana56

    Lana56 New Member

    You have all been a help to me, thanks.We all have stress in one way or another.We cope when there are other to understand.We can tell people we know we do the best we can ,because we do.Sure wish I could get a job! Lana56
  13. babyzee

    babyzee New Member

    If you don't look sick, you aren't sick. Someone actually said that to me "You don't look a bit sick" - because I had rosy checks - due to a HIGH FEVER!!!
    Maybe you can look for something to do at home. Ignore those work-at-home ads; they're all scams. You don't need to listen to these toxic people; dogdazed is right.
  14. sandy10seven

    sandy10seven New Member

    a lot of people think there's nothing wrong. I have two illnesses that can't be seen, PTSD and CFS. If we had broken legs everyone would understand, but they can't see this so to them it doesn't exist.

    I'm so sorry for your circumstances. I hope your husband has a good lawyer. Maybe you could try talking to another attorney about your situation also. As long as the consultation is free, it can't hurt.