Everything Caving In On Me

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hehmommy, Dec 1, 2005.

  1. hehmommy

    hehmommy New Member

    I have always prided myself on being a strong person, but these days I really feel like I may lose it. I lost my Momma in October. She has been sick most of my life, but still I was so very close to her (I miss her). My former Aunt who was married to my Mom's Brother many years ago moved in with my dad to take care of my Mom's Grandpa who is not well and now my dad informs me that her and him are liking each other. UGH!! My sister and I aren't very close, but my Mom's death put a wedge between us. She can't handle it and has been nasty with me and now upset at my Dad too. My husband's BiPolar meds aren't working so I am thinking crap now we have to go thru another med change which is pure Hell if not done right. The man next door passed away and they are like Grandparents to my 3 year old daughter. She seemed upset by it. I feel like everyone around me is either going nuts or dying. I have never suffered from any kind of depression, but feel myself heading down that road. I suffer from the daily pain and tiredness, but I am usually a very happy upbeat person. I feel so weak at this moment. I feel like I would love to run away and hide somewhere for a bit. Thanks for letting me vent. UGH!!!
  2. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Join the club, I am a master at running away and hiding from everything. I recommend you don't go down that road. This would be a perfect time to talk to a therapist.

    Someone you can talk to confidentially, who can support and help you be strong. I believe there a therapy called "cognitive therapy" which is supposed to be great.

    I had alot of stress in the last year including three people close to me dying. Also a very sick 90 yr old mother, a brother who lost his job after 12 years (I am helping financially), and a business to run. Also, illness with fibro.

    My fibro is better but I developed a number of compulsive behaviors I am now trying to change. I blame all these stresses.

    I am sorry you have so much going on but knowing what I know now, I still say seeing a therapist (one you like) would probably be very helpful.

    Take care



  3. JLH

    JLH New Member

    You poor dear. My deepest condolences on the loss of your mother. Losing a parent is really tough. I lost my father four years ago--we were really close--and it was really hard. It took me a year before I could even talk about him without crying.

    To then lose your elderly neighbor who was like a grandparent to your daughter is so sad. I am sure your daughter misses him and doesn't understand what happened. She is old enough to understand that he went to Heaven so he won't be sick anymore, etc. Even though you are going through a real mess right now, I hope you take the time to explain things to her--about your neighbor and your mother. They could both be in Heaven looking after each other!

    I feel so sad that you have to deal with your husband's medical problems at this time, in addition to your sister and father. Your sister is just having a hard time dealing with your mother's death, too, and she is just taking it out in a different way--unfortunately, being nasty to you. She apparently is upset with your father, too, for his actions so soon after his wife's death.

    It is none of my business, but it appears that his relationship with the former auntie is inappropriate as far as most people consider due to the short period for his grieving. It certainly would be nice if you and your sister could find someone else to look after Grandpa and ask her to leave. However, since it is your father's house and his "friend" now, he probably would not agree to that!

    I don't blame your sister for being upset with him, because if he were my father, I certainly would be too! But, not knowing all of the circumstances, it is really not proper for me to even say that, so I apologize, even though I am not deleting it from my post.

    To cope with all that you have on your plate now, in addition to your own health problems, I think I would call my family doc and get an appointment ASAP. You might want to discuss with him going on an anti-depressant for a short time to see if it would help your depressed feelings.

    I certainly hope that sunshine comes your way soon. You need better and brighter days. I know you are missing your mother terribly. No matter how old we are, we all still need our mothers close to us! Talk to her often, even though her physical presence is not here, I'm certain that she can and will hear you.

    (((Hugs)))
    Janet

  4. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    YOU ARE DEALING WITH SO MANY THINGS, BUT GO TO THERAPY FOR YOURSELF...I THINKYOU COULD FIND IT HELPFUL...ALSO MAYBE YOU COULD GO TO A BREIVEMENT COUNSOLOR...

    FORGIVE MY SPELLING ...

    ANYWAYS I THINK YOUR FATHER IS JUST LONELY AND HE IS NOT USED TO BEING ALONE. I HAD AN ACQUANITANCE FRIEND WHO HAD HER HUSBAND DIE OF SKIN CANCER,,WHICH PROBABLY WOULD'VE BEEN AVOIDED BUT HE DIDN'T WNAT TO DO ANY RADATION OR CHEMO UNTIL THE DAY BEFORE HD DIED...

    WELL HIS WIDOW STARTING SEEING SOEMONE W/IN A MONTH OF HER HUSBAND BEING DEAD...PLUS SHE HAD A 3 YEAR OLD AND AND A 5 YEAR OLD...SHE COULDN'T STAND TO BE ALONE..IT DIDN'T LAST WITH THEM....

    BUT THE QUESTION I KNOW MY E-XHUSBANDS FRIEND HAD WHEN HIS 30 YEAR OLD WIFE WAS KILLED IN AN AUTO ACCIENDET..PICKING UP HER FATHER SHE HADN'T SEEN IN 7 YEARS FROM THE AIRPORT IN SAN FRANCISCO...I SAW IT ON THE NEWS THAT NIGHT NOT KNOWING IT WAS LISA..

    WELL SCOTT ASKED MY HUSBAND HOW LONG DO I WAIT UNTIL I START DATING..THIS IS WHILE THE WIFE WAS ON A RESPIRATOR....

    I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG TO WAIT I THINK IT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE, NO RIGHT OR WRONG...JUST LIKE DIVORCING...
    YOUR FATHER IS LONELY AND HE ENJOYS THE COMPANY...I KNOW IT IS AN X-AUNTIE BUT HE MUST FEELSOME ALREADY FAMILIAR COMFORTABLITY...I THINK HE MAY JUST NEED AN EAR TO LISTEN TO . I DON'T KNOW BUT SEEK THERAPY SO YOU CAN MAKE SOME SORT OF NORMALCY FOR YOUR SELF....

    IT MUST BE DIFFICULT AND I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS AND I'M SURE YOU FEEL BETRAYED BY YOUR FATHER, BUT HE IS NOT SEEING ANYTHING CLEARLY NOW....YOU COULD MAYBE SUGGEST GOING TO THERAPY WITH YOU...MAYBE YOU SHOUD GO BY YOURSELF FIRST AND TALK IT OVER WITH THEM...I DON'T KNOW...BUT TRY TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF..

    AND I KNOW ABOUT THE BIPOLAR STUFF WITH MY X-HUSBAND,,NOW HE HAS HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND HE HAS NEVER TAKEN ANY MEDS FOR HIS BIPOLAR, SO I KNOW HE WILL NOT TAKE CARE OF THE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE...


    WELL GOOD THOUGHTS GOING YOUR WAY..

    JODIE
  5. hehmommy

    hehmommy New Member

    Thank you for all your thoughts and comments. I am gonna take my daughter and go out shopping today just to get away from the house for a bit. They have the Mall all decorated for Christmas which makes me feel so good inside and little one needs shoes Again!! Maybe a visit to Santa. Maybe he will grant one of my wishes (ha). Have a great day everyone!!

    Trish :)