Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shari1677, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    I know this probably goes without saying - but, I'm so tired I'm crying. I dont know what to do. I have to work. My son's graduation is tomorrow, his party Saturday. I'm a single mom.

    I feel I am on a slippery slope here with fatigue. Every day I get worse and worse and worse - even only a small degree, but worse nonetheless.

    I'm not sure what to do about this. I tried taking Ritalin, but it made me very ill, so I had to quit.

    Any advice? I'm thinking of asking the doc for a note for like 3-4 days off work, but I'm not sure. I'm afraid of losing my job.
  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    if you don't take the time off, you may be even worse off. This is part of trying to pace ourselves. Sometimes it's just necessary to give yourself rest.

    Hope you get thru it all ok and with a bit of rest feel better. Congrats on your son graduating!

  3. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    I remember when you posted all you had to do i wondered how you would pull it off. We can only push so hard. I know you want to make this night memorable for your son...so take a few days off. Somethings gotta give and its going to be you if you dont cut something out. Get that note from the doctor and do the best you can. Maybe you could enlist the help of some ppl that will be attending? Theres no shame in asking for help. Good luck and congratulations to your son!
  4. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I broke down in tears while I was driving with my son the other day. It just came out and I couldn't hold it back. I know exactly how you feel.

    First, take a time out for yourself and do not think or do anything. It can be 5 minutes in a hot shower, 30 minutes in a bath, 10 minutes hiding under the covers and meditating or just going blank, whatever you can do to remove yourself from everything for a bit.

    Then make a list of what needs to be done. If there are things you can delegate, then do so. (Easier said than done when you are a single mom, I know.)

    If you start feeling overwhelmed take a deep breath and step away for awhile if you need to.

    Now, What I'm going to say is not going to be popular, but it is just what I experienced. I am not trying to upset you more, I just want to share my experience.

    I was very sick last year and was on short term disability for 6 weeks. My boss tried to fight the short term disability and lost against the higher ups. Anyhow, while I was out she and another employee riffled through my desk and set it up to make me look incompetent. I was written up, which at that company means you will be fired within the next week. I called her and the other employee out on it and other unethical behaviors in front of the CEO, CFO and controller and told them, well lets just say it wasn't nice and would take too many symbols to spell out. Although I left, I was able to prove that they had created a hostile work environment so I do receive unemployment.

    Now, there were other issues like my being in grad school made her feel threatened b/c she doesn't have an advanced degree.

    I don't know your employer or your work environment. I can only say that employers have the upper hand in today's economy. Employers know that it is a tough job market thus they can put more pressure and limits on their employees. No it isn't fair, but it is business not personal. And yes, if you live in a 'no fault' state, you can be fired for being sick.

    Again, I am not trying to make you worry more. I just want you to be aware of what can happen. Make sure you know your rights as an employee in your state and at your company. They are not the same as they were 5, 10, or 20 years ago.

    Knowledge is power.

    I know none of this is easy. From one single mom to another, my heart goes out to you. Your son is lucky to have you.
  5. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    The weekend is almost here. I hope your son's graduation was wonderful and I'm sure your party will be as well! It will all be over soon, then you can REST!

    As far as work goes, what I would do is have your Dr. write a note saying you do need a few days off. You don't have to tell your employers why. Medical reasons are personal. For all they know you are having female problems for 4 days. After that, (just my opinion), I would sign up for FMLA. That will allow you to take time off as needed without repercussions. Your employers are not obligated to pay for anytime taken off, for example if you take the afternoon off. I don't know if you're salaried of hourly.

    Your Dr. will help you with the paperwork for that. You are allowed up to 26 weeks per year. 90 days if you take it concurrently. Your employer's insurance company should be able to provide you with the necessary paperwork and all of the requirements and the "rules".

    I know that the choices are hard. I know that you are obviously very responsible and also feel like you can/and should do it all. The fact is that you SHOULDN'T do it all, let alone be expected to.

    Your body is talking to you, it's telling you something. You have to listen to it. It's begging you at this point. You are trying to be a good employee, but you won't be, certainly not in the long run if you don't take care of yourself.

    I know you're a great Mom, but you have to take care of yourself in order to be able to give what you can to your son. We give give give to everyone else, to everything else in our lives and we just keep pushing ourselves. Well it's TIME that you stop pushing.
    A healthy person shouldn't do it, people in our condition absolutely shouldn't!!

    Hard to believe when our kids reach a milestone like graduation isn't it? Like how did we get here so fast?? It's definitely worth celebrating! So enjoy the party!!

    Call your Dr Monday morning! BTW - when speaking w/my Dr., he was gladly going to fiill out the necessary paperwork for me to go on disability through work. He said that people that have Fibro as badly as I do usually can't work. Thankfully I have a Dr. who understands what it's like (as much as one can) to try to live like this.

    Sorry this is so long!!

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