Extreme - Extreme - Depression

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shari1677, Feb 8, 2010.

  1. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    I've had FM for about 5 years now. I've been depressed ALL of my life and when I say that, I am not exaggerating. I remember being suicidal at the age of 7, now I am 42. I sometimes wonder how I've even lived/survived this long. Of note, I've had 3 "nervous breakdowns" requiring hospitailzation.

    If any of you have been following my posts, I decided to quit taking narcotics about a month ago - and was successful. I am narcotic-free.

    However - my depression has rebounded. I am depressed and angry with life, my situation, circumstances, family, finances - everything. I want to cry, but cant. I want to run away from it all. I'm sooo awfully tired of the day-to-day stress. I feel that I cant get a break anywhere. I feel my family, job and finances bearing down on me hard.

    I am thinking my depression is a rebound from being off the narcotic. I believe the narcotic gave me a sense of happiness......so I believe if I ride it out I will be okay.

    I still wonder if I need help again though.
    [This Message was Edited on 02/09/2010]
  2. DeborahLynn

    DeborahLynn Member

    I'm praying for you! I'm so proud of you for sticking it out and getting off narcotics. I went through getting off narcotics, but I don't remember feeling depressed. I was feeling so much better physically that I was glad. But I imagine if you already had depression, that getting off narcotics would make it worse for a while.

    It might be time to seek help to get you past this rough time. I was moderately depressed once, and it was very difficult, so extreme depression would need some help. My husband has depression; he says the only way he can describe it is total misery. He's on medication which helps some. He's a Christian, and turns to the Lord for help. He says that's the only reason he's made it this far. He's the same age as you.

    I wish I could offer more help; just know my heart goes out to you, and I will be praying for you! God is reaching out to help you; I'm praying that the Lord will surround you and fill you with His comfort, peace, and light.


  3. AllWXRider

    AllWXRider New Member

    What have you tried...and it helped?
    What did not work?

    Dr. Daniel Amen, has been on public TV. He puts all his patients on fish oils. Krill oil seems to be the most effective. Fish is high in GABA and considered brain food.

    What do you take for serotonin? Sunlight? (I'm serious), Tryptophan? Turkey? 5HTP? Cashews?

    How is your sleep?

    What infections are you fighting?

    How's the thyriod? Body temp during the day ~98.6°F?

    Dental Amalgams? Mercury fillings can really weaken the immune system.
  4. AuntTammie

    AuntTammie New Member

    First of all, congrats on sticking it out with getting off the narcotics - I know that was really tough for you and you did it!!!! That is really a major accomplishment!

    As to the depression, though, you are very rt that it could be rebound from stopping the meds....there are many different effects that come from that and some of them do take quite awhile to go away completely, but they do improve and once they are gone, you may find that you are feeling better than you have in a long time (wish I could say you WILL feel better, but unfortunately there are no guarantees.....it is likely that you will feel better, though)

    I do think that the suggestion about the fish oil is a really good one, if you are not already on it. I know that it helped me with depression quite a bit (helps with other stuff, too)....I have had to stop taking it bc my stomach will no longer keep it down, and I can REALLY tell that my body is missing it. If you take it, make sure to get a brand that is guaranteed to be free of mercury. Carlson's is one, there are others, too.
  5. HeavenlyRN

    HeavenlyRN New Member

    Let me get in line and join the club! I too have had depression for years. I think it started during my first marriage. Something about someone indicating that you're essentially worthless can do a number on a person!

    I am now 55 years old (and married again - very happily) and can't remember a time when I was truly, truly happy - with the exception of first meeting my current husband and the courting process. Seems like we've had one trouble or another (not with each other) since we got married.

    OK.....enough of that sordid tale!

    I've been on many different antidepressants over the years. Some made me gain weight, some made me lose my appetite, some didn't go well with other meds I was taking, etc., etc., etc.

    My husband and I are now experiencing some very bad times - illness related - and I will admit that I have mentioned wanting to die a few times. No, I don't have a plan. And, no I wouldn't really do anything because I love my husband and 2 sons too much to do that. My 30 year old son lost his best friend to suicide 3 years ago. His friend was like a 3rd son to me and I still think about him often. I have seen how suicide affects people and I couldn't do that to the people I love.

    Due to severe back pain and the worst fibro-flare I have ever had, I was put on Oxycodone in December, to be used as needed. For a couple of weeks I was taking it approximately every 6-8 hours. As the back pain has begun to decrease (due to cortisone injections, physical therapy and acupuncture) I am beginning to feel somewhat better. So, my intake of the Oxy has decreased. Then I began to have nausea, my depression increased, my moods have been labile (my poor husband). I saw my rheumatologist yesterday and she told me that when I've been experiencing is most likely withdrawal from the Oxy.

    Perhaps what you are feeling now is a delayed reaction to getting off your narcotics. Everyone's body is different. I suppose it takes some people longer to feel the side effects of either starting or stopping a med.

    May I suggest acupuncture? I've had 3 sessions so far and I highly recommend it. Check with your insurance company to see if they will cover it.

    Good luck. I won't say "hang in there" because we've probably all had that said to us a million times and, I don't know about you, but I hate that! I would imagine that we've all been "hanging in there" for a long time, and nothing changes. I will be thinking about you.
  6. ladybugmandy

    ladybugmandy Member

    aussie..your experience sounds exactly like mine. 2 days on paxil and everything stopped - the ruminations, rage, depression, it was incredible. it only lasted a year, though.

    after that, i tried several other meds for a long time, including effexor, which never helped much.

    if i ever get better from this CFS, i would like to pursue other treatments such as TMS, CBT, DBT, EMDR, etc.

  7. ladybugmandy

    ladybugmandy Member

    aussie..your experience sounds exactly like mine. 2 days on paxil and everything stopped - the ruminations, rage, depression, it was incredible. it only lasted a year, though.

    after that, i tried several other meds for a long time, including effexor, which never helped much.

    if i ever get better from this CFS, i would like to pursue other treatments such as TMS, CBT, DBT, EMDR, etc.

  8. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Sorry you are feeling so bad. I've been depressed most of my life too.

    I have been helped a lot the last two years by taking Vitamin D3 and Grape
    seed extract (recommended by Jaminhealth) and the Vitamin B12 patch.
    I still take my antidepressant.

    If you read my profile, you can see what I've tried and what has helped. Maybe
    some things you will want to try yourself. Good luck.

  9. jesfms

    jesfms New Member

    congrats on being narcotic free...you didn't mention if you are taking any antidepressants...it takes a while to find the right dose and right med to help you...life is hard for everyone right now but i think fibro makes life harder...i want to run sometimes but i know it wouldn't make life any easier
  10. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I'm so sorry you're feeling so low!
    Are you having any pain anymore or how is that going? If I have any pain, my mood and outlook goes in the toilet. Did you feel "happy" on your narcotics - see I never feel much of anything except pain relief, that's why I ask.

    Your feelings are raw right now. The stress of life and being ill can certainly take it toll and sometimes it feels like we can't take one more day.

    Are you angry about how your life has turned out? Angry over decisions, choices you've made?
    I know that I've certainly felt that way.Boy do I get it!! I still can't believe that I'm living like this right now.

    I would definitely talk to your Dr. There really is no reason to suffer through something that could possibly be helped. Getting some relief to help you cope right now would be a good thing!
    Make sure there is no other cause for your depression (physical). Your Dr. should also be able to tell you which vitamins/supplements etc. should be added to your diet.

    Don't underestimate your strength my friend. Look what you've accomplished in the last month!! The only strength you need right now is to make an appt with your Dr. If you need to see a therapist, I'd do that too - just to TALK. Sometimes that is so helpful - I think for many of us it's a matter of wanting to talk.

    We're certainly here for you, don't forget that!