As I've typed in posts before, my 7 yr. marriage has deteriorated to a very, very toxic situation (as in "toxic people"). I have no one to turn to for financial help or even shelter, though, and I am too ill to be able to hold down a job. There's also the issue of our 4 y.o. daughter who has problems of her own (high-functioning/borderline autism but doesn't qualify for help). Hubby was gone this week on business and my mom was here. Trip served two things...first, to confirm that I did not miss hubby AT ALL (didn't even talk on phone 'til later in the week, and that was really for daughter's benefit). My mom being here secondly confirmed just how challenging my daughter really is, "above norm", and just how overworked and underappreciated I am, even in my "stay-at-home" mom capacity. I am sick of all of it, literally and figuratively. I am quite miserable in this new home, and my body is rejecting what sure seems like a totally different, much drier climate. Allergies have come out of nowhere and are bad, my skin is so sensitive and is so dry it peels like a sunburn unless I slather moisturizer on several times a day, and my hands crack and even bleed along the knuckles. This no matter how much water, Gatorade, etc. I drink. I know I am a prime candidate for major depression, much as I try to stay strong and stave that off, because I can't even consider any sort of meds. to help due to my extreme sensitivity, all my life, and severely bad reactions to ADs, etc. in the past when I was dealing with bad postpartum stuff. I have to say I desperately want to end the marriage...I just need the strength to get out. I am really considering throwing some basic stuff in the car and moving back to our old house, as it doesn't seem likely to sell anytime soon, anyways. It's really the only place I have to go, and at least I have some semblance of friends and routine, both of which are vital to my sanity at the moment. But I feel so guilty putting my daughter through all of this, whether she comes with (which would be hard, as she's enrolled in a new school, etc.) or likely stays with dad as he'd hunt me down to take her anyways. I am only posting this because all of the stress and the utter ZERO support I get in ANYTHING re: my health from hubby is causing my CFS and general poor health to spiral out of control, and me to get to where I don't even have the energy to do anything positive to try to correct it (like eat healthily, etc.). I can't even sleep well, and I have a chronic red, irritated spot on my face that won't heal no matter what I do and what I've been told is due to stress and the extremely high toxin load in my body/stress on my organs from it. I know that no one can wave a magic wand or really give me any answers. I just hope and pray somehow I find something that works, and it is clear my chances of being truly healthy are pretty close to zero if I stay in this relationship, much as I so hate to become a divorce statistic. It devastates me in that this is happening when we already have a child, but at the same time, she is by no means seeing a good parenting model herself, much as we try to insulate her from our bickering and nastiness. Anyways, I continue to be in a bad CFS flare, likely "herx-ing", too, and I so appreciate everyone's support. I wish I could just have a good cry, but I don't even have the energy for that. Thanks so much for listening, and sorry I needed to vent. How do you get through all of this? Does anyone else also have NO support other than this board? I really, TRULY don't, and I am not making this up...I am quite genuine. Any ideas to gather the strength I need would be so appreciated. Thank you again. a still badly-flaring C.