I feel a bit disappointed about myself. I miss the feeling of building a bridge brick by brick between God and me. Then I found the bridge can be collapsed easily due to some unknown reasons. I don't know a method to grip the relationship. God is so far away, i want to be a friend with HIM. I really don't have any true and supportive friend in my life. I tell everything to God daily. But don't get me wrong, I don't expect an actual voice respond to me (it's a bit scary I think). Somehow, I think I'm quite tired in this silent friendship. I really don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes I even think my life is done, that's why I don't get any progress in spiritual growth. I know it's sinful.... By the way I would like to ask, is it really ok for not joining a church?