Familiy Understanding

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by bowmanhaus, Jan 10, 2009.

  1. bowmanhaus

    bowmanhaus New Member

    Last night my wife did all but tell me that she hates me and who I have become since I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I love her and I love my two children and that was truly like someone shoved a dagger straight through my heart. I am the only source of income for our family and I just don't know how much longer I can carry that burden as badly as I want to and feel obligated to...This disease is slowly taking everything that I am and that I love in life. I used to be a martial arts instructor, guitarist, outdoorsman, etc. But now it's just all I can do to get through the day and make enough money to pay our bills. Being anyone with fibro is hard enough, but being a man with fibro is insane! Everyone thinks your a whiner and just looking for attention or a disability check. I stopped even mentioning that fibro is what I have going on and started calling it arthritis due to the stigma attached to fibro. I realize that there are people out there that do say they have fibro just to get a disability check and for the attention and to those people I can say STOP, You are making people that actually have it suffer even more and totally ruining our already weak credibility! This is real pain...NOT imagined!!!
  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    I am so sorry for the pain you are going through and the misunderstanding from family.

    It is very hard on our loved ones and I sure your wife didn't meaan she hated you she hates the Fibro. Have you had her read any of the info on the board? The letter that Im giving out to family is called The Thief of Lives it listed here on ways to explain fibro and cfs.

    Call it Fibro so people get educated. Only way we will get anywhere.
    Not sure how anyone can fake this to get disability.

    Keep posting we understand. best of luck
  3. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    It breaks my heart that you are going through such emotional pain...something many of us have gone through. I swear the mental/emotional part for me has been the hardest part to deal with.

    I understand about trying to hold the family together. My husband lost his job so I am working many hours. Why? I have NO choice. I hate it, it's killing me, but I cannot give up or in at this point.

    I understand also that you pick and choose when and who you will tell that you have Fibro. Sometimes it's not worth the energy, sometimes it is. It really varies.

    Those letters although I've read them before always break my heart as well. I love the part about "if there is a cure, we'd know it" ...SO TRUE.

    Which leads me to...........
    Those that are swearing by what helps them, are you telling your Drs?
    If you're not, please do. Every Dr. I've seen, I've asked what is helping their other Fibro patients and none have mentioned anything on here. (and no they do not have any ulterior motive)

    No disrespect, but are OA and Fibro really connected?

    All you can do is the best that YOU can do and not feel bad about your limitations. Thats that ever so hard acceptance stage.
    I wish I had an easy answer- but support is important for you and you do have it here!
  4. MsE

    MsE New Member

    that is attached to fibo and ME/CFS is very real. I don't blame you for calling your illness arthritis. I understand that educating people about the reality of these diseases is important, but maintaining status in public and on the job are important too, and if using a more socially acceptable illness's name helps, why not? You need your job, and the people you work for and with can understand "arthritis" whereas "fibro" is evidently too much for them to comprehend. I don't blame you a bit. We do what we have to do to survive as long as it isn't hurting someone else.
  5. jodboga

    jodboga New Member

    i have had this since 1995 , just recently , I have found if I take vicodin 10/500, neurontin 300mgs and skelaxin 800 mg every 4 hrs I am awake I can actually feel better . on days my sinus bothers me i take Mucinex D . if no ones has tried this it may help you . I know everyone is different but anything is worth a try to feel some what like living .