Family and Friends did not sign the petition/RELIGIOUS BELIEFS

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by dd, Oct 24, 2002.

  1. dd

    dd New Member

    Hi All - I am so fuming mad right now that I can't see straight. Last week there was a post asking people to sign the petition to change the name of CFS to ME to get the rocognition that it deserves. I signed it and emailed my family and friends asking them to do the same because every name counts. I emailed them a heart felt letter explaining to them how this disease has ruined my life the past 6 years and how the name Chronic Fatigue does the name no justice at all. It is so much more than JUST being tired all the time. Anyway, I emailed this to about 20 people. These were members of my immediate family and close friends. I emailed them on Sunday and only 2 people have signed the petition. By the way, the 2 that signed were not family members. I sent out another email today because I thought that maybe they thought it was a chain letter and accidently deleted it. I just received an email back from a FAMILY MEMBER stating that her and her husband WILL HAVE TO REFRAIN FROM SIGNING BECAUSE OF THEIR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS. SHE SAID AND I QUOTE "OUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS DO NOT ALLOW US TO BECOME INVOLVED IN THE SIGNING OF PETITIONS FOR A POLITICAL REASON DUE TO THE FACT THAT WE TAKE A NEUTRAL STAND IN THE WORLD'S AFFAIRS". She went on to to tell me that this was quoted from some of the excerpts from a bible reference that they use. She then went on to quote some bible scriptures to support their view. One example is John 6:15 "Jesus, knowing they (the Jews) were about to come and seize him to make him king, withdrew again into the mountain alone. Later he told the Roman governor "My kingdom is no part of this world. If my kingdom were part of this world, my attendants would have fought that I should not be delivered up to the Jews. But, as it is, my kingdom is not from this world."

    This particular family member is a Jehovah's Witness. I truly don't understand the harm in signing a petition for a family member with an illness. I also don't understand the quote that is supposedly from the bible that she quoted. If anyone has any knowledge of this I would love to be enlightened on the subject.

    I am not angry that she and her husband did not sign the petition. I am angry that she brought religion into it. I respect everyone's own beliefs because believe me without GOD in my life I would have no hope at all. I just feel that with me having this illness that they should sign to SUPPORT ME and not make a big politcal issue out of it. If you can't count on your own family for support who can you count on? (besides this board of course)

    As for the others who did not sign, it is their perogitive. It just goes to show how alone WE ALL are in trying to find a cure or recognition for this disease. I have received stupid chain letters from all the people that I asked to sign and I have taken part in all their chain letters. This is so much more important than a stupid chain letter and I only had 2 people sign. What the hell is wrong with people? I just don't understand. Would I have been ignored like this had I gotten cancer instead?

    Like I said, it is not the non-signing that I am angry at. These people have seen me suffer for the past 6 years. My point is, if I can't even get them to sign a petition on line that takes a few moments of their time, I certainly could not count on them to be there for support if I took this disease to Washington, DC to try to get recognition for me and for all that suffer. I honestly have thought about taking my Chronic Fatigued and Fibro-ed butt up to Capital Hill and make them notice me and this DD. Maybe we should all show up at the Capital in our wheel chairs and canes and show them what this disease LOOKS LIKE.

    Sorry for the long post. I am just sick of the ignorance of people.

    Debbie

  2. dd

    dd New Member

    Hi All - I am so fuming mad right now that I can't see straight. Last week there was a post asking people to sign the petition to change the name of CFS to ME to get the rocognition that it deserves. I signed it and emailed my family and friends asking them to do the same because every name counts. I emailed them a heart felt letter explaining to them how this disease has ruined my life the past 6 years and how the name Chronic Fatigue does the name no justice at all. It is so much more than JUST being tired all the time. Anyway, I emailed this to about 20 people. These were members of my immediate family and close friends. I emailed them on Sunday and only 2 people have signed the petition. By the way, the 2 that signed were not family members. I sent out another email today because I thought that maybe they thought it was a chain letter and accidently deleted it. I just received an email back from a FAMILY MEMBER stating that her and her husband WILL HAVE TO REFRAIN FROM SIGNING BECAUSE OF THEIR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS. SHE SAID AND I QUOTE "OUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS DO NOT ALLOW US TO BECOME INVOLVED IN THE SIGNING OF PETITIONS FOR A POLITICAL REASON DUE TO THE FACT THAT WE TAKE A NEUTRAL STAND IN THE WORLD'S AFFAIRS". She went on to to tell me that this was quoted from some of the excerpts from a bible reference that they use. She then went on to quote some bible scriptures to support their view. One example is John 6:15 "Jesus, knowing they (the Jews) were about to come and seize him to make him king, withdrew again into the mountain alone. Later he told the Roman governor "My kingdom is no part of this world. If my kingdom were part of this world, my attendants would have fought that I should not be delivered up to the Jews. But, as it is, my kingdom is not from this world."

    This particular family member is a Jehovah's Witness. I truly don't understand the harm in signing a petition for a family member with an illness. I also don't understand the quote that is supposedly from the bible that she quoted. If anyone has any knowledge of this I would love to be enlightened on the subject.

    I am not angry that she and her husband did not sign the petition. I am angry that she brought religion into it. I respect everyone's own beliefs because believe me without GOD in my life I would have no hope at all. I just feel that with me having this illness that they should sign to SUPPORT ME and not make a big politcal issue out of it. If you can't count on your own family for support who can you count on? (besides this board of course)

    As for the others who did not sign, it is their perogitive. It just goes to show how alone WE ALL are in trying to find a cure or recognition for this disease. I have received stupid chain letters from all the people that I asked to sign and I have taken part in all their chain letters. This is so much more important than a stupid chain letter and I only had 2 people sign. What the hell is wrong with people? I just don't understand. Would I have been ignored like this had I gotten cancer instead?

    Like I said, it is not the non-signing that I am angry at. These people have seen me suffer for the past 6 years. My point is, if I can't even get them to sign a petition on line that takes a few moments of their time, I certainly could not count on them to be there for support if I took this disease to Washington, DC to try to get recognition for me and for all that suffer. I honestly have thought about taking my Chronic Fatigued and Fibro-ed butt up to Capital Hill and make them notice me and this DD. Maybe we should all show up at the Capital in our wheel chairs and canes and show them what this disease LOOKS LIKE.

    Sorry for the long post. I am just sick of the ignorance of people.

    Debbie

  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I know how hard it is to try to understand why people do what they do, but you need to let this go; it will only stress you out. I'm praying your anger and frustration are gone.

    Love, Mikie
  4. pepper

    pepper New Member

    I sympathize with you. I have had family members turn on me but at least they didn't use the religion excuse. Brother!

    You will not change their minds so I agree with Mikie that the stress of dealing with this will make you worse. As awful, hurtful and as insulting as it is, for the sake of your own health, just let it go.

    Some people will never get it. I wouldn't wish this DD on anyone but when things like this happen I wish they could walk a mile (well, maybe a block) in our ME shoes.

    (((BIG HUGS))) Pepper
  5. poodlegirl

    poodlegirl New Member

    that they do not want to help you in this small way. I could go into great detail of religion and what is right and wrong, but I won't. It will not change their mind. Try to worry about this. It is just another obstacle that we with this illness has to overcome. My heart goes out to you though!
  6. inpain3

    inpain3 New Member

    send me that e-mail..i will gladly sign it, along with my hubby...and i know a few other ppl who will sign it as well.
    my e-mail addy is in my profile....just put petition in the subject so i will open it...

    we are all fighting for a cause...some just are too weak and try every way out....too bad they use the Lord and His word.
    God bless!!
    inpain3
  7. blast

    blast New Member

    And they can kiss my ***! I don't really mean this, but I do understand that a lot of family members do not understand and then to bring in religion is another topic.
    My own mother happens to avoid visiting me, or I visiting her because most of the time I am down and glum. I try so hard to put on a happy face for her, but now, after 5 yrs., I have decided to stop. I have tried everything to feel better and no luck with anything.
    I put all the energy that I don't have into my two children who are 3 and 11. You can imagine how dead I am at the end of a day. So I have stopped pretending for everyone, except those whom hardly know me.
    I wish you luck and stay strong,
    We only have each other when it comes to this awful illness.
    Sherri
  8. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Let it go, I agree with Mikie, the stress is not worth it.

    People have many reasons for not wanting to participate in certain things, but thats the first time I heard someone quote the Bible about a petition, I do have a cousin that is a JW, and I was surprised that she is not allowed to vote or participate in any political way in the country. But she will complain about the people who are in office! Must be the same reason your friends refuse to help.

    I do agree, the Scripture you quoted does not make any sense in this regard.

    Take care, and calm down, the Lord loves us all.

    Shalom, Shirl

  9. dd

    dd New Member

    Thank you all for your responses so far. I know that I need to let it go and I am trying. I really am. I know that it isn't worth all the stress thinking about it. I am so surprised about the quoting of the bible scriptures for a reason not to sign. I am a christian and would never use religion as a reason not to help a cause. I thought that christianity was all about helping and loving others as you would love yourself not as a cop out. Geezzzzzzzzzzzz....

    Peace to All.

    Debbie
  10. BonBons

    BonBons New Member

    Debbie; I'm so sorry about your family. I asked my aunt who knew exactly what I was going thru and frequently called "to support me" to sign a very brief form for SSD, and she refused, worrying about losing her Medicare or something. Then I found out later she did something similar for a friend.I've also lost friends and family through my chronic pain issues and illnesses that are very real- just wanted to say you are NOT all alone and remind you everyone here understands and you'd probably be surprised how often you are prayed for....and that I have read some good posts on this board about why people do that and lots of reading and working on my own need to forgive ignorance, but believe me, it's very difficult. Keep venting, keep writing, keep believing in yourself. BonBons
  11. clueless

    clueless New Member

    My mother who passed away at 93 could or would not accept that I did`nt feel well and at times was "testy". I was the one who took her to the doctor etc. and I think she thought I was 22 yrs. younger and should be healthy.It was difficult at times but I miss her terribly ,I just wish the understanding could have been there. Sometimes I think loved ones don`t want to accept that we are ill.Now it`s my daughter that can`t accept my health being bad. She has always had a hard time with family being sick. Different strokes for different folks I guess.Just hang in there and try not to let it get to you. It upsets your fibro. and makes you feel worse. We can`t change them,so I guess we have to accept them as they are.Pleasant thoughts to you! Clueless
  12. ssMarilyn

    ssMarilyn New Member

    Your JW relatives didn't sign it because they are to be NO part of the world....that includes going in on signing petitions, etc. JW's steer clear of anything outside of their Kingdom Halls. You won't change their minds. I know....because I used to be a JW.

    P.S. we should never expect others to jump on the bandwagon with us. We may be ill, but that doesn't obligate them to automatically join the support club. I know it's hard to accept this, but this is just the way it is. I gave up on this LONG ago and feel so much better because of it. Now I don't expect anything from ANYBODY. This way I am never disappointed.

    Marilyn :)
    [This Message was Edited on 10/24/2002]
  13. Fibrolady37

    Fibrolady37 New Member

    Hi Sherri,
    I hope youre having a better day,im a fibroite so i know what youre going through,especually with the family.
    I was diagnosed 6yrs ago with fibro & hoped against hope that my family would maybe be there for me in some way.
    How wrong i was & i now have no contact with any of them.
    Im the middle child of 3,i have a younger brother & a sister whos 14mths older than me.
    I was physically abused as a very small child




    Hi Sherri,
    Hope youre having a better day im snuggles02,a fellow fibroite im new here but would like to think were 1 happy family.
    Im a single mum with a daughter,sophie whos 9 in Jan,o3.
    When she was born i lived with her dad & got very severe Post Natal Depression.
    She was born in jan 94 & it was nov 94 when i cracked & moved out.
    I knew there was something wrong with me & kept going to my doc to ask for help & for him to listen to me.
    This went on for months & in Nov94 i moved out i didnt want to stay where my partner didnt understand.
    How did he think i felt?
    I missed my family so moved to be nearer to them,my sister & my Dad+Nan.
    I was physically abused by Mum+Dad as a very small child as all 3 kids were.
    My Mum left when i was 9 & even though she hit me i loved her shes my Mum & i was supposed to look up to her.
    My Dad then started to really beat my sis & i up,if we came home 2or3 mins late wed get a beating.
    My sis stayed at her bfriends so she could stay out dads way.
    So i was the 1 who got beaten & boy was that hard for me.
    I moved in june94 & was diagnosed with fibro in the winter of 94.
    I was totally alone & had to bring up my baby,try to keep my flat clean,shop & look after me.
    The flat was cold,we had electric storage heaters that wernt big enough for size of the flat.
    In winter the flat we so damp & wet there was water & mould+fungus all through the flat.
    I was in & out of hospital as the fibro got me i was bedridden for years & was so scared.
    Id no family support,my best friend lived near but had a full-time job && we hardly saw each other.
    Shes been more of a sister than my sister could have ever been,& thats since i got fibro.
    Ive moved now & live in a flat with central heating & a gas fire,wow i thought all my christmasses & birthdays had come at once!
    I became a christian in Sept 2000 & got baptised a year later,the lord is my saviour.
    Its hard now because my daughter is an only child & has wanted a brother or sister for years.
    I know how hard its been & im 9yrs older now & ive got fibro & couple other related illnesses that go with it.
    All i want to do is keep warm & rest especially now that winter is here youll alll know that feeling.
    I had to go it alone & its made me a stronger person,my family dont understand how ive changed as a person because its been years since ive seen them.
    Its just me,my princess & my cats & the lord,at least heel never abandon us neither will fellow sufferers.
    This is long but you are the only people i can tell this to,i hope we can help each other in any way to cope with this DD & to keep each other going,hang on in there Sherri.
    God bless,ill pray 4u,keep warm,gentle hugs Snuggles02.






















    H
  14. sapphire

    sapphire New Member

    I'm sorry you are hurt but please do not take it personal. It truly is a religious issue. Jelly explained it well. I also am a Jehovah's Witness. I did not sign the petition either. I hope you can understand this is not anything personal. I'm sure they love you and feel for you.

    Take care,
    Sapphire

    Jelly,
    Where are you from?
  15. lavender_butterfly

    lavender_butterfly New Member

    Debbie~

    I know what you are going through. I am a very open minded person and I believe that everyone is entitled to their own religious beliefs. BUT...from my perspective, your family members should have handled it a little more delicately.

    I guess if it were me, I would gently explain to you that due to my religious beliefs, I could not, in good faith sign the petition. I would explain that if you needed further clarification, I would be willing to explain why this is so, so you could understand better. Then, I would say that I was not unsupportive to your cause and if there was something else I could do to help you out, that did not involve me in any political action, I would be willing to do what was within my power to do.

    But not everyone is like that. That is just my way. Honestly, from the "tone" of the email that she sent to you, and unfortunately, tone is very hard to discern, it sounded to me like she was upset with you for not automatically knowing her religion and her religious beliefs. Perhaps she felt as though you were disrespecting her beliefs...but it is rather hard to respect someone's beliefs when you do not know or understand them!! I never assume that anyone knows or understands my own religious beliefs at all! If I feel that my toes are being stepped on, I gently explain or remind the person so they can make their own decisions about understanding and respect.

    This issue can make me really hot under the collar sometimes. See, my parents were VERY strict within their own religion and were quiet overbearing my whole entire childhood and young adult life. I have been diabetic since I was 18 months old and one time, when I was 10, my mother told me that I was still diabetic because I didn't believe in God enough. I spent many years feeling like it was all my fault that I was diabetic and trying anything and everything to "cure" myself to prove myself to HER...and not to God at all.

    After I moved away from their home and realized exactly how much I had been abused by them, I realized that it wasn't my fault and I made my peace with the whole religious issue. But a lot of what they did and said to me really damaged me spiritually. I am still working on healing that part of my life. They could never accept me for who I was and that is why we are no longer in contact. If they could have only seen me for who I was and loved me because I was their daughter, well, our lives would have been much different. I felt for so many years that my parents loved their religion more than they loved me. And if that is what is required to be a part of their religion, then I would rather be considered a heathen! LOL!

    I can understand your hurt and pain over that issue. I generally try to approach religious matters with delicacy and understanding because it is such an emotionally charged issue. But I find that so many people do not follow my lead and would rather beat me over the head with their beliefs. I just recently had a coworker tell me to have faith in God and then I would get better. It really caused a lot of those old issues to come to the surface and I almost started screaming at her!! But I took a step back and realized that she was not being cruel. She was just trying to help in the only way she knew how.

    Its a big, bad, messed up world out there. But try to hang in there and try not to let these differences get you down. The one thing I do is try to admire the differences in other people and see how those differences make the world a richer place to live. If I don't find anything valuable in their differences, I just consider that maybe someone else's life is better for it. I hope I managed to help you out some...
  16. ssMarilyn

    ssMarilyn New Member

    I had no idea there were any JW's here at all. I used to think Miss Dee was one because she once mentioned she didn't celebrate holidays, but then the more I got to know her, the more I knew she couldn't possibly be one. As I said in my above post, I was one for many years too, and fell away. But my god is still the Alpha, the Omega, the Almighty Jehovah God.

    Marilyn :)
    Psalms 83:18

    P.S. Religion isn't an excuse, it's a reason.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/25/2002]