Family bad vibes

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jake123, Jul 2, 2006.

  1. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    I've had two days with storm clouds moving around our area so my head is throbbing off and on as well as my hands.

    My husband has worked in the yard all day and I'm afraid I haven't been much use. I went back to bed about 11:30 and slept until 1:00.

    Last Thursday night my MIL called and asked me to tell my husband that we should be over there by 5:30 to eat because everybody was already there. I didn't know what or who was there. When I got there, my MIL didn't speak to me at all, just gave me some dirty looks. A cousin was there from Australia. When the chance arose, I just left.

    So my husband and I have had words about it. I know I am overly sensitive but I also am very intuitive. Also I found a pair of my earrings (missing for two months) in the corner of the living room behind a curtain. I know my grandson threw them there.

    What do ya'll do when you pick up on all these bad vibes? I just get headaches and go to bed but my husband's family doesn't really understand about CFS or RSD I'm afraid they just think I'm lazy.
  2. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    but your family may never understand...I think it's the "fatigue" part in the name. It just sounds like one is lying around and could just get up and change their lives. It is a lonely disease (my son has it) and we have had some disagreements with family about being overprotective, different treatment options, etc. Makes you want to scream! AAAAAUUUGGGHHHH!! There, I feel better..... Terri
  3. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    We don't have alot of choices do we. Just plod on. Do what I can when I can. These are the same people that ask me if I have anything they can take for a headache. I don't have anything they can take for meanness.
  4. jgarcia1963

    jgarcia1963 New Member

    I agree, most people DON'T understand! Even when they are trying to be well-meaning ("Why don't you try. . . "),they end up making you feel bad, like you are not smart enough to have already tried the obvious solutions! I can really sympathize with Terri and her son, my 16 year old daughter has CFS, and our family can't understand why she has missed a semester of school. They have been implying that she's lazy or depressed or just doesn't want to go to school, when she is actually heartbroken about missing a semester! They only see her occasionally, at family functions in the evenings, and she LOOKS fine. They forget how many family functions she has missed, because they were earlier in the day, and she just COULD NOT get out of bed. Even her best friend circulated a rumor at school that Amanda was "faking it" and I had to talk to the principal and her teachers about it. When we try alternative treatments, we are told we are being irresponsible parents (even though she has been treated unsuccessfully by 4 M.D.'s!) We are at the point that we have stopped listening, and we tell our daughter to do the same. It's really hard, though, especially for her.
    Hang in there, everyone! I'm praying for all people affected by any chronic diseases, but especially CFS and FM.

    Take care,
    Julia
  5. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    jake123:

    They never like hearing us complain: most of 'them' anyway.
    I would just keep your husband focused on what you are going through and let the rest hang.

    Your mother in law sounds like a grade A_________(you know the word).

    nyrofan
  6. kalina

    kalina New Member

    Unfortunately, most of us at some point have to be around people who don't have a clue what we go through! I wish they could experience what we go through just long enough to feel what it's like. I don't think they would be so judgmental after a wake-up all like that.

    I'm so sorry you are being treated unfairly. It's not right, but fighting the stigma of these DDs is simply a losing proposition with people who lack empathy. If you've tried educating them and they're still close-minded, the best you can do is to make a conscious effort to reject their blame. Hold it away from yourself and do not accept it. It's THEIR problem.

    (Um, Jake, could you please consider filling out your profile? Even sharing just a few things about yourself would be very helpful!)

    Best of luck dealing wiith this situation.

    Kalina
  7. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    Well, my husband and I had a very short conversation about it. I told him about not feeling welcome at the barbeque and the dirty looks, etc.
    He said he didn't think she meant anything mean by it. I said well I've already had one MIL and I never ever felt bad feelings from that one. That's how I know it's not me.
    The deal where the MIL says something under her breath and my stepdaughter laughs, I am positive it is about me, they think I am too stupid to know it.