Family is here and can't believe the amount of meds I have

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shelby319, Dec 23, 2006.

  1. shelby319

    shelby319 New Member

    Oh just what you need this time of year where its suppose to be happy and joyful and full of good cheer and not pass judgement!! I swear our families who arrive to bring us good cheer and well wishes, and spend quality time with us, would go through all your cuboards and wherever else you might have medication, start to pass judgement on you!! What ever happened to good ole support from your family and at such a stressful time of year too, which is why so many don't spend this time with them because of just this type of treatment!!

    I'm so mad right now I could scream!! Where is their compassion for us and support through this DD we have?!! I was asked about all the pain medication I have and what such and such is for and why I would need all of it along with all these vitamins, sleep meds, anti-anxiety meds, pain meds, you name it, and then to have to explain it to someone who wouldn't understand if their life depended on it anyway...just amazes me!!

    We all work so hard this time of year to make everyone happy by giving them presents, baking, making the meals, cleaning, the list is endless, and yet we are the ones who have to defend our illnesses to them!!! I am so tired now and stressed out just from working so hard to make them feel comfortable for their visit, and from being in pain...to which I was just asked.."if your taking this amount of pain medication you shouldn't feel anything, let along beable to carry on a conversation"! I do believe this will be my last attempt at having company for the holidays!!! Its not worth the suffering we go through!! Hehehehehe~~~

    Oh well..at least I didn't loose my sense of humor..just a joyful sparkling warm and fuzzy Christmas with family!! I do believe I'll be joining that chat board for some fun time tomorrow after all!! LOL!!!

    Thanks for letting me vent~~~
    I want to thank this board for everything they do for us and all the great information we get, along with all the fantastic support from all of you here on the board that have supported me through so much, for that I am so grateful for all of you!!
    Merry Christmas to all!
    Gentle hugs,
    Shelby
  2. For one thing I never leave meds in a med cabinet for anyone to snoop or borrow meds. I know people look through the medicine cabinets. Its none of their business. I hope they don't stress you out too much.

    I have heard that many times, fibromyalgia , its a name they place on someone that they can't find anything wrong with. HELLO!

    MERRY CHRISTMAS!
  3. Catseye

    Catseye Member

    You're a psychologist, so turn into "psychologist mode" when they say something stupid! Like "whatever would possess you to say something like that, would you like to talk about it?" Then ask them what day they would like to make an appointment! People get all freaky around head doctors, so make them feel awkward and that will be the end of it. There's nothing worse than a know-it-all with no knowledge and big, fat, strong opinions telling you what you should or shouldn't be taking. And family always thinks they can automatically take charge and nose their way into your business.

    Better yet, go into a ridiculously long, boring story about your medical problems until they can't stand it anymore and change the subject. Or start your eye twitching and say you aren't ready to talk about that yet.

    Being a thought doctor, you understand more about why they're making stupid comments than even THEY do, so turn the tables on them and "shrink" them down to size! Do it seriously, LOL inside the whole time. And then tell us about it!

    have a great xmas,

    karen
  4. adberens

    adberens New Member

    I think you are doing great just to have family over, let alone feed them. I couldn't do it...(CFS).

    I can relate to the med bit. I have never told my family all the meds I am on. One time I made a comment elluding to all my meds to my sister and she said "oh, I can relate. I am on Lipitor and it is awful to have to take it everyday". I said no more. She doesn't have a clue.

    Hang in there. They won't stay forever. Do something nice for yourself when they leave.

    Ardy
    [This Message was Edited on 12/23/2006]
  5. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    You wrote, "and then to have to explain it to someone who wouldn't understand if their life depended on it anyway...just amazes me!!"

    First, NEVER leave your medications lying around where others can have access to them. NEVER. You need to be concerned that someone will take them or comment about them..
    OK. I'm going to give you a quick lesson on handling stuff like this.

    #1. DO NOT ANSWER THEIR QUESTION.
    #2. ASK THEM WHAT THEY ARE DOING GOING THROUGH YOUR CABINETS. It doesn't have to be in a snotty tone, you use a tone of voice that tells them they have stepped over the boundaries.
    #3. Never attempt to explain or justify, you will just dig yourself a hole. The more you try to justify, the more upset you will become and the more "justified" they will become in their position.
    #4. If they keep it up, remove the audience. That means YOU. Go for a walk, go take a long hot bath, go to a movie, do something that removes yourself from this intrusion into your privacy. Silence speaks volumes.
    #5. If they keep it up, you have two options how to do this. A. You either get a pencil and paper---and write down the name and phone number of your doctor, or B.you just give them your doctor's name.
    You basically tell them that Dr._______ is taking care of you and if they have any questions, here is his phone number. If they say another word, I'd finish this tribunal with the statement, "I didn't know that you had gotten a medial degree and specialized in FM". I'd DEFINITELY leave the room then.

    UPDATE:
    AARGH! Now I just read some other responses and you are a psychologist. Well, I'd still give you the same advice.

    Families can have the worst manners. They step over boundaries that they would never do with non-family members. I can understand about working so hard to make everything perfect and then BAMO! someone opens their mouth before they put their brain in gear.[This Message was Edited on 12/23/2006]
  6. Kryssie

    Kryssie New Member

    It never ceases to amaze me and amuse me with peoples theories about FM.
    It either doesnt exist, its all in our heads... and I love the classic my ex husband and best friend said:

    "I think your problem is all those meds you are taking. If you would get off of them you would feel better"

    My response:
    "I wasnt taking all these meds before I was diagnosed with Fibro"

    My ex husband says "You just need to take a couple shots of liquor every night and you'll be better off than taking all those pills"

    Me- "Do you want to pay my bills because if I drank, Id surely not function as I am right now."

    People, I swear! And I agree= hide those meds. Its none of no ones business.. people just dont get it unless they have it theirselves!
  7. shelby319

    shelby319 New Member

    I know, you would think I would know better about not letting it get to me, but afterall we are dealing with our family and their the ones that get to us the most... they always know which buttons to push, don't they?

    I try to react like I'm a little crazy anyway so they can have a come back of their own, like..."See I knew there was something wrong with you, you've been sick all your life"!! Or I like this one too, "whatever illness is out there, I swear you end up getting it"!!! DUH..you think so?/!! Too funny, but yet it does hurt! These are the same people that never acknowledged I even have a PHD! So right there, that tells you a little about my family in the first place! And the reason for becoming a psychologist...HELLO..anyone home up stairs?/!! Hehehehehe

    You are so right about the meds, but most of them are up in the cuboard where the glasses are, along with all my vitamins. So, when one went to go get something to drink, and saw all the pill bottles, the stories came out and the big mouths started to talk! I guess my brain fog forgot to put them all away before they came for their visit and that was the beginning of the downfall! I've never put my pills in the medicine cabinet, as we all know thats the first place someone is going to look, and of course they do, don't they? And also not a good place with all the moisture in there too.

    I have given them alot of paperwork to read about FM and CFS, but I think no matter what, they are going to believe what they want, so why bother...just let them enjoy my "delicious and fantastic" meal, and then go their merry way....what more can be done...their all getting old and I'm getting tired!! Hehehehehehe~~~

    You have all made me smile again and with much laughter, and with that, I thank you dearly!!!

    What a great board!!!!!!!!
    Merry Christmas to all and stay pain free as much as you can, along with many laughs this holiday season, which will lessen our stress and raise our endorphins!!
    Have a sparkling Holiday,
    Shelby
  8. Juloo

    Juloo Member

    We had family in at Thanksgiving. Since all were staying at hotels nearby and only visited for the days, I put all my meds up on top of our china hutch (I keep it in a big wicker basket). Basically, I don't care to have any comments -- also, we had small kids around.

    But my sister-in-law has a really sharp eye. She spotted the basket right away! I asked her how she knew it was my meds. So she tells me, "I've got one just like it!" She's just been diagnosed with lupus, so I didn't mind at all.

    No, what I DID mind was another sister-in-law got a headache and wanted to know if we had, "...Vicodin, or something like that..."

    Fortunately I was not home when she asked, but I would have been happy to tell her that even if I DID, I don't hand it out to people that it isn't prescribed to. And she's a doctor!
  9. shelby319

    shelby319 New Member

    I know how you feel about someone asking for a vicodin or any pain med for that matter, as it happens quite often when family or non-family members know we have them!! But having your sister-in-law who's a Dr. asking, is so disturbing to say the least!! Gosh, does she have nerve! She of all people should know you aren't suppose to ask anyone or take anybody elses medication for fear of drug interactions! And these are your pills and nobody elses!

    Why doesn't she just go and fill her own script for the vicodin, is what someone should of said...hehehehehe..I know legally she can't, but many Dr's do or have someone else do it for them. But isn't this the second time she asked you for some vicodin? Or maybe this is the same time you posted about her, because I remember you telling this once before. Boy, not too bad of a memory on my part, huh?

    Have a Very Merry Christmas and stay pain free!
    Gentle hugs,
    Shelby
    [This Message was Edited on 12/24/2006]
  10. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Shelby,
    So sorry that happened. I agree with you.

    I have a cousin who usually comes to see me, way up here in the mountains, and gives me the gift from his family. He has been calling and calling, but, thank God, I had a flare, so I put him off. The last time he came he berated me for having a dusty house, (Even though I told him I could not clean, and he said "don't worry, don't clean").It's funny, that suddenly I remembered all of the critical and judgmental things he had said before, that I had just dismissed.

    I decided that I just couldn't push any more, and I decided to have a quiet day with my pets. Some supportive friends came over for dinner and a movie on Friday, and I'm going to lunch with another friend on Tuesday. But tomorrow, is a quiet day of joy and peace, and some good viewing of British mysteries ("Hetty Wainthrop", to be specific).

    I think we've paid our dues. It's time for peace and quiet.

    Merry Christmas, and thanks, also, for all of the wonderful advice and support I'e received. I will be eternally grateful.

    Big, round, bowl full of jelly,-hugs,
    Terry
    [This Message was Edited on 12/25/2006]
  11. georgie0826

    georgie0826 New Member

    my family sees my drugs, and ask why I take so many. I said what part of disability don't you understand? If the doctors and state thought I was bad enough to get disability, then maybe my family need to realize my illness is real.
  12. Grammcrkrs

    Grammcrkrs New Member

    Family are people who do NOT get it. Nope, not at all. And it's true..it hurts alot because of ALL people you want them to understand the most and they are the ones who understand the least!

    Just today my mom told me that if my g/daughter (who has M.E. -- she's 16 1/2) would just get some exercise, she'd be okay. ??? !!! This is from someone who doesn't know where the thyroid is located!! I just eyeballed her and said "Exercise isn't going to cure what she has or me either!" (I have M.E. too..and Fibro) That ended that, thank goodness!!

    But, I'm still a taxi driver -- since my sister moved out and "divorced" herself of having anything to do for our mom, I'M the only one who is around to do everything...I have a younger sister, but she lives 70 miles away. And one who lives in Hawaii. I'm not working and I LOOK healthy, so therefore, I'm available!!!

    Explanations fall on deaf ears. To her credit, my mom has taken public transportation for Sr. Citizens...but she's getting up there (85 1/2) and *SIGH* I'm "it" ...so besides taking care of my health, my g/daughter's also (who lives with us), my mentally-handicapped SIL and making sure hubby stays on top of HIS health issues, I have to explain and guide my mom medically (and she is as stubborn as they come!! Has diabetes and WON'T eat right).

    I did do something for me this last week..went and bought lots of clothes and some jewelry!! And what's good about it, I have no guilt! lol!

    {{Gramms}}

  13. chloeuk

    chloeuk New Member

    I can not wait for the day that they realise that this disease is REAL in respect of what causes it and how to treat it...I will then tell all the people that think I am crazy...I was clearing out some paperwork and came across a letter I was supposed to give my gp from my er visit, I had an allergic reaction to something...that wasnt what the note said...it did say drug interaction problem...then went on to say pysch referral needed...WTF...I was so angry...why write there was a valid reason then say I am probably crazy?? I have now vowed never to go to ER again...that was before I was dx with fms so now it would be even worse...I am so sick of people sitting in judgement and I am so sorry that your family made you feel this way.
  14. butterfly83

    butterfly83 New Member

    Shelby - Usually my response is when I get the 'Whoa if you're on THIS much pain medicine you should be dead' type comments, I reply that OBVIOUSLY, since I'm not, it gives you an idea about the level of pain I have to endure.

    At least it usually shuts them up.