FAMILY NONBELIEVES/ SICK OF IT!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by pacotaco, Apr 14, 2009.

  1. pacotaco

    pacotaco New Member

    HI MY FELLOW PAIN PALS. YOU KNOW WHAT IRKS ME SO MUCH? IS WHEN I AM TOLD "EXCERSISE, YOU'LL FEEL BETTER" OR "HAVE YOU TRIED WALKING A MILE TO STRENGTHEN YOUR LEG MUSCLES"". GEE, AM I STUPID? IF I COULD DO THOSE THINGS, I'D BE WORKING STILL. BETTER YET, WHY WOULD I CHOOSE TO SUFFER IF I CAN DO WHAT WILL HELP ME! THESE ARE NOT FIRST TIMERS EITHER. THEY'VE KNOWN MY ILLNESS FOR SIX YEARS. AAAAAAAAAAAGH! I'M SICK OF IT.
  2. butterflydream

    butterflydream New Member

    This is very common for family members of someone with fibromyalgia.
    Others do not understand how a person feels that lives with chronic pain.

    I have found it is best for me to keep quiet as for they don't understand.
    If a family member asks me a question of how i'm feeling today, i answer very little to them.

    Somethings are better left unsaid to others.

    Wish you well
    Butterflydream
  3. kat0465

    kat0465 New Member

    Most of us deal with this :( i have been I'll for almost 20 years and the only one that really cares or cares to understand is my daughter ( thank god)
    My MIL told me one time, i needed to stop all the Cr*p, Quit going to all the docs, cause there was noting wrong with me i was just depressed. and my FIL told me i was a Hypo.

    ANd when we hear all the Negativity, it just makes us feel worse. this is a good place to vent, we all can relate!!!
    Kat
  4. willruthie1965

    willruthie1965 New Member

    As some of you might have read,I am going through this badly right now. I didn't even know my niece and another sister and brother n law felt this way. All of a sudden when I got accused of trying to get my dad to move,it all came out, I will soon post the letters I recieved.

    There was so much hatred. I honestly sometimes think SATAN is actually here and working horrible things through people. I went 43 years without one enemy{I am a people pleaser} Than all of a sudden things have gotten so bad. I sometimes don't even want to go on.

    To make matters worse I am very angry with my hubby for the way he handled my family problem. He said some horrible things back. Now there will be no chance my family can recover from what my hubby said.He was trying to defend me, but instead of dealing with the lies they said about me and him, he bashed them back with a 20 year old secret that I kept.

    His family has had their problems but I would never take it into myself to bring up old family secrets that can hurt alot of people. I need


    I need to see a doctor soon.I am ready to bust!!!



    Sorry this was your message.I should not have gone on with my own problems.


    Just know that you are not alone.I am so sorry your mother n law says those horrible things. too you.
  5. Lsnhawtsauce

    Lsnhawtsauce New Member

    I've had it or shall i say was diagnosed with it,,probably 15 yrs ago,,however i was really active and it didn't bother me too much,,i was busy all the time,,and worked my tail off and just thought alot of the pain was just because i was working so hard,,
    Well,,I divorced and remarried will be married 7 yrs come July ,,and it's hard for people that cannot see anything 'visible' to the eye to understand,,when you look perfectly fine visually,,however your insides feels like someone has beaten the living hell out of you!!,,or been hit by a mac truck ,,you just don't have the 'tire' tracks to prove it!
    Oh,,,I've had them tell me oh you have to exercise too,,the Idiot pain mainagement Dr i was sent to ,,had the gall to tell me that because at the time i was in my early 40's and so was he,,that I should be walking on the tread mill 5 miles like every other day at 4 mph!,,
    I looked at him and i absolutely told him he was NUTS!!,,i said if i got on a tread mill at that speed i would be in a full run!,,and besides that,,I wouldn't even make it 5 miles,,i'd be lucky to make it 1/4 of a mile!,,
    Needless to say,,i don't see a pain management Dr anymore!!
    I have support from my husband 'most' of the time,,however ,,he's like others too at times,,he don't see it ,,he just sees i can't do things i use to be able to do,,we use to go dancing all the time ,hit all the festivals here,,go places all the time and i can't even clean my house like i use to!,,if i vacuum i'm lucky!!,,then i'm down the rest of the day!
    I've tried about everything,,physical therapy,,Acupuncture,,massages,,now i'm on Oxycotin 40 mg 3 x a day and Zanaflex one in the morning and 2 at nite with a 2mg Clonapin to help me sleep,,however,,the pain has gotten so bad the last 3 weeks,,I've hardly been out of the house,,cook,,clean,,,anything,,finally i said i'd try a Chiropractor,,so my 1 apt today,,and omgggggggggggg,,i thought i'd die!,,and he doesn't even do the popping of the bones,,he uses heat and this thing that looks like a car sander that he uses over your muscles,,well he hit places i didn't even know hurt! and only on the left side,,by the time he made it to my shoulder ,,i actually thought he was literally 'pinching' me with his fingers!,,I even asked him if he was because that's what it felt like!,,so the longer he used that on my shoulder the worse it got,,finally i had to yell,,stop i can't take any more!!,,i was in tears!!
    I have to go back Thurs Morning,,he said we'd try this 3 times and that should let him know if this is going to help me or not,,I made a remark that i felt so sorry for the woman that have it worse than me,,that i don't know how they survive!,,
    He said,,listen,,i have alot of patients referred to me with Fibro and I'm gonna tell ya right now,,your one of the worse I have ever seen,,he said most just have it in a few spots,,he said,,bless your heart you have it 'all over'!,,i said yeah i know i do!,,that's why i'm here,,
    I swear sometimes I just wanna hand someone a bullet!! and just say use it!,,
    So believe me i know what you mean!,,I am sick of hurting too!!,,and I probably will not be able to even walk tomorrow,,and god only knows i need to sweep and mop,,do laundry,,vacuum,,and i can't!!,,
    And if your married,,yes it puts one heck of a strain on your marriage!,,because when your hurting the last thing you want is to be intimate!,,'and i have a double whammy there because i'm going thru 'menupause' also and i'm having a hard time with it,,it hurts so bad,,that we have to stop and i bleed!!,,
    So God Bless every one of you,,I know where your coming from!
    Leatha
  6. pacotaco

    pacotaco New Member

    I AM SORRY THAT YOU HAVE TO BE MADE TO FEEL THE WAY YOU DO KAT, I DO KNOW MYSELF WHAT YOUR FEELING AS YOU READ! YES, EVERYONE THAT HAS HEALTHY BODIES SEEM TO THINK WE HAVE JUMPED ON "THE BAND WAGON" OF THE NON/EXSISTANT PAIN XPRESS! I HAVE FROM TIME TO TIME LET THEM MAKE ME DOUBT MYSELF UNTILL THE PAIN BRINGS ME BACK TO MY AWFUL REALITY THAT THIS IS REAL.IF ANYTHING, THEY ARE NOT LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD. NOT EVERYTHING IS AS THEY SEEM TO SEE IT. TAKE MUCH NEED CARE!
  7. kat0465

    kat0465 New Member

    it seems the ones who are supposed to love and support us the most have the hardest time believing we are that sick. Maybe they are scared to think of us as being in danger of disability or even Death, at least thats what i tell myself so i won't choke them or go off on em, which won't help anyone.
    i too have doubted myself after a round of being called a hypochondriac, but then ii look at all my bloodwork & think theres no way i can fake that!!!
    you take care also, & just know that your not alone.
    Kat
  8. pacotaco

    pacotaco New Member

    your welcome kat, and ya know hypo's dont really feel the pain in the body, i think they have in the mind which is no fault of their own, i feel that thay have a different issue within themselves but we surely DO have real exruciating pain and although we look ok[not always],we are no way ok. don't let the family get to the where you feel like choking, because i now believe that the more we feel we have to deal with the ignorance of their thinking, it just adds stress, hence comes stronger pain to deal with which means they huret us in two ways, mentally and physically. i have learned so much from the replies i have recieved in just these few short days that i found this site,[thank god and the people here], that i know how i'm going to handle my family members. i'm glad i am not alone and the days that i feel that i can't do it , o take the doubting me looks on familys faces, i can always remember everyone here and just know, that theres love on this site for us who know what eachother feels is real!!~~~~~~~~~~feel happy Kat, pacotaco =]
  9. pacotaco

    pacotaco New Member

    hope your doing good this afternoon! I know i have so many problems but when i read yours i wish i could do something to make your day better.I sometimes can give advice, but I sure can not follow it for myself...bet that happens for alot of people..well, have a good day Ruthie..always rooten for ya!!! miss pacotaco
  10. pacotaco

    pacotaco New Member

    thank you butterflydreamfor your replie. you know something, I would love to not have to answer to anyone when they ask how i'm doing. If i say ok, then they want me to get up to do things an don't see why i can not, if i answer with the truth, then , well you know what happens next. but they will not let it go.i get every thing that they
  11. pacotaco

    pacotaco New Member

    Hi butterflydream, this is the second repliy, i was just typing the first msg and i got booted off so i hope you only get this one, but iwas saying thanks for your advice. ya know though, if i say to people that i'm ok, then they look at me like i should be up and at em, and if i sant the truth, then they start with all the things that they just KNOW is going to make me better. they just won't quit. i did gt good advice about throwning some of the things back at them that they tell me, i think Deb said it, not sure today, but she said that if theyre ill, i should say to them,"go walk amile ,it will strenghten yor leg muscles or do excercise because it'll make you feel better" since thats what they tell me ALLLL the time..ahahahahah..i laughed so hard. It's a great idea, don't ya think. maybe it will work for you too....take care~~~~~~~~~
  12. pacotaco

    pacotaco New Member

    WOWWW, your story sounds like mine! i was also so active in work and play, and i also have gained weight. don't eat much but it's being les mobil that does it. and I am ALWAYS asked if i try to loose the weight! what do i do to loose it. I get really hurt at that question and then I feel like a Hummer vehichle.... I get to feeling ashamed of myself for days after. I will look in the mirror and hate what i see.I now look and size myself up EVERYDAY, really, i can't help it. i just have started to cry as i write this because its so hurtful for me,,sorry i have become so self loathing because of my weight. Not to say that i am too overweight, but 2 sizes bigger that before. it is a sore subject for me because i get asked so many times "what are you gonna do about that fat"They just don't get it and even though i know they ignorant to say that to any one on any level, it reall sticks too me,having a husband who is tall anf skinny then no intimacy for years doesnt help my self esteem either ya know...' in reply to you saying that if they could feel your worse days pain, that maybe theyd understand, i don't think it would help.when my cousin rode her bike quite far, her leggs hurt so i let her know that it's the way my whole body feels on a good day for me, she said "well, do what im going to do, use a hot hot shoer and it will dissapear!" you see they have answers for everything. I wonder why they don't have "DR." INFRONT OF THERE NAMES!!~~ TAKE CARE~~~MISS PACOTACO