Family Validation

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by momof471, Dec 23, 2006.

  1. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    Last night my dad and stepmom came over. I had cooked a light meal, this was our holiday gathering with them. These are normally a huge source of stress for me as to much water that has passed under the bridge between me and my stepmom. Since I got hurt 3 years ago and then continued to be diagnosed with fibromyalgia and myofascial pain and so forth, I feel like all of this falls on deaf ears. They like to tell me what my stepbrother does for them and I'm always saying, I'm sick with four kids and a husband who is working 80 hours per week, I don't have the time, energy or money to do much besides what absolutely has to be done. I have felt like they thought I was just complaining for the fun of it. Well, their Pastor's wife has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and just recently they have talked to her rather extensively about this. She told them that she can't imagine how I can do it with four kids and manage to have the house not look like a total junkyard. She said that I must have strong willpower to be able to get up and do this daily and that is pretty amazing. Well, truth be told my house is very disorderly, I only do what has to be done and my girls are huge helper's and I am blessed to have them as they give me a reason to get up and move every day. Anyway,now my dad and stepmom seem to have a greater understanding of my situation and for that I am thankful. It just irritates me that it had to come from someone else for them to get this understanding of what I'm dealing with. I felt better about them as they left last night than I have in years. A small Christmas blessing I would call it.

  2. mxmom419

    mxmom419 New Member

    Mom, even though it came from someone else I think that they are trying to say that they finally understand somewhat of your daily living struggle. This is good for you and will take some pressure off. I have 3 teenagers and up until 3 weeks ago have always worked 2 jobs, even thru the last year of being sick. I finally have a doc who is trying to help me and now my family is angry. It's like now that someone actually believes me they feel so angry that when I feel my worst they slack the most. I think it stems from my husband. I've always been very energetic and keeping the house neat and working a full time job and on the weekends to help with getting my kids cars and paying for all that they want but, now that I stopped the weekends they think I have more time to do around the house and for them. If I want to take a nap or just chill and watch a movie it's like I've abandoned them. I hope you have a supportive husband. Take note that now they have a clue that makes them responsible to you and to be there for you and hopefully this will help your relationship. In the meantime I'm going to try to find out why the confirmation in my situation makes things worse. Maybe I should call Dr. Phil? Ha-ha. Hang in there, it sounds like you're doing a great job.
  3. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    Luckily, my husband is very supportive, He works two jobs because Ican't work. He is usually not to critical of things that go undone. Or when there are a string of days of frozen dinners and things of that nature. Sometimes it does get to him and I understand that, its hard supporting everyone and feel like you are getting nothng out of it. My girls are ages 12 down to 4 and unfortunately have gone through this illness with me. They chip in for the most part when asked( sometimes loudly) they usually cool it when I can't handle the noise, they are good kids. I doubt it will change my relationship to much with my dad and stepmom, but at least there is an understanding there now. I feel like that is one battle won, even if not by me.