family venting

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by minkanyrose, Sep 24, 2006.

  1. minkanyrose

    minkanyrose New Member

    My son is back for a visit, from the navy. only here a week but anytime is great to have him.

    any way my mom decided to have a family dinner sunday for family, which she does often. we all go over there 25 people show up for the dinner.

    during making dinner my mom starts crying me and my son from navy are in the kitchen with her. she has sharp pain in lower right side I TOLD HER to sit down she says no I have to get dinner done for every one. I started crying my son started crying,

    I was crying because my mom was in so much pain and to think she had to fix the dinner in pain was so stupid because we all wil survive on our own. most of us anyway. we are a bunch of pretty good sized people one meal won't starve us.

    My older brother and younger sister take her to er. turns out she has a severe kidney infection with a cyst they are going to check on further.

    anyway my sister-in-law and I finish the dinner. my mom is 66 years old she had been babysitting for my brother's 2 mo. old daughter and 8and 6 yr olds for 2 weeks prior because he is a tight wad and doesn't want to pay a babysitter.

    Friday my younger sister want's mom to help her with a yard sale. my mom did all the work while my sister sat on her fat but.lifting and carrying and watching my sisters 3 and 1 year lod.

    then saturday night for my brother again and they stayed the night also. I had no Idea this all went on my mom's neighbor told me while we were waiting for my mom to get home.

    my younger brother said what is up with all the crying mom isn't dieing she is an old woman for god's sake she is going to have health problems. he also made the comment why are you so tired.

    I trird to explain that my son the last time he was home my dad was rushed to the hospital having cancer and that was the last time my son saw his grandfather. now back at the same house for the firsrt time in 2 years and the same seen flashes through his mind.

    we eat while still waiting for word on my mom and my brother and his family get up from the table and anounce they are leaving. my sister in law and i clean up everything all the kids gone we have no little ones we pick up all the toys do all the dishes and even the breakfast dishes were left from my brother his wife and 3 kids.

    my brother has the gall to call when he gets home and says make sure the house is clean before mom gets back.

    I wanted to punch him out right then and there. no concern fro anyone but himself and not respecting my mom I could have laid him out.

    what's wrong with people after all my mom has done fro him he couldn't make sure dishes were done and house clean before leaving then tell us to do it all? what gall

    my mom refuses to come back to iowa from texs at x-mas my brother and sister don't understand why can you blame her?
    [This Message was Edited on 09/25/2006]
  2. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    As long as your mother is willing to be a door mat, there isn't much you can do for her. It is up to her to say "no". It sounds like you have a lot of self-centered people in your family who are willing to use your mother. I had a similar situation in my family. All you can do it talk to your mother and point out the obvious, but it is up to her to set the limits and refuse to be used.

    Ellen
  3. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    Your poor sweet mother, I can't see how people can take advantage of her like that, I am sooo proud of you for keeping your cool, your mother is so very lucky to have a daughter like you. My prayers are with you and your mom.
    Please the both of you and your mom take care of yourselves.

    Love to you both, Ann