Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by anj211, Jul 17, 2009.

  1. anj211

    anj211 New Member

    hi all

    I am having family problems which is getting me down i have cfs and much of the time find it very hard to do anything including getting out is a struggle however my family are so not helpful i have to go to supermarket and get groceries not just for me but for them all i am really struggling with this and have said to them but they just dont care if i did not go they would all sit with no food in the house i have seen me having to go out in agony and feeling really bad they also go around the house spraying sprays like perfume and air freshener i have tried to tell them it meeks me feel unwell but they do it anyway. i sometimes think i would be better of on my own that way i would only have to take care of myself i have 3 children ages 19 16 and 12 and a hubby who sleeps all day and plays computer games all night. anyone any suggestions.
  2. butterflydream

    butterflydream New Member

    and what i mean by this is from what you are describing sounds like a major lack of communication. Without communication there is disaster waiting to happen.

    Family sitting at the supper table together can do wonders. This gives everyone a time to share their day and concerns.

    Too many families today drift apart simply because of no communication.
    When you're not feeling well it must be very hard on you keeping up with your family, 2 teens and 1 near must be a handful. Yet they are old enough for you to share open communication.

    I sure wouldn't throw it all away, family is very important. Communication keeps the family together.

    Be Well
  3. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I gather that you are the person bringing the money into the home through disability payments. Sadly, your family looks upon you as sick and weak so they ignore your requests for help food shopping or to stop the perfume and air freshners. Unfortunately, this is what happens to many that have medical ailments where they could use a helping hand or become chemically sensitive. It's going to take all your strength, but please get tough and take back your power.

    First, I would have a family conference and explain that things have to change and will change or you're going to take some drastic action. You need help with food shopping and the perfumes and air freshners have to stop. Who will volunteer to food shop with you each week/bi-weekly/or whatever. If no one is willing to help out or stop with the scents, then move on.

    Since you food shop, don't buy any freshners when you go out. ANY money provided to the kids is stopped since they use it to buy perfumes. If you have to, arrange to chain the refrigerator, then do it to point out that food is not available all the time to them. Tell them your money buys, it, you are the one that shops for it and brings it home without any help, so they do not have access to it unless you allow it. I would put some locks on the food cabinets too and teach these leaches some lessons in life.

    Set up a list of chores for the kids and the husband to do. Explain to the kids that the chores get done whether they get money or not.

    Insist the 16 and 19 year old get out and get jobs. Tell your husband he either helps with food shopping and the house or he's losing the computer forever.

    Sometimes you have to pull together all your strength and put your foot down and take back your home. You're not unreasonable in what you're asking for. Good luck and many hugs.