Feel Desperate.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Aussiegirl, Feb 3, 2003.

  1. Aussiegirl

    Aussiegirl New Member

    Hi everyone.
    Ive been here a couple of times but today I feel realy down.
    I am to go back to work today after a month off and I dont feel I am up to it.
    I work in a major dept store filling the shelves and I need all the energy I can get. And today I have no energy.
    I am seeing a chinese herbalist which was helping me so much......she changed the herbs last week to a different lot and I havent felt the same since. My symptoms are slowly coming back..is this normal??? Does anyone know?
    I havent had this crappy CFS long but it feels long enough as I have always been a very active person. I have all the symptoms but sometimes I wonder if ts something completely different. My doctor has run blood tests all to come back normal......my symptoms include Very dry mouth,elelctric current in my body, muscle aches in my legs and especially in my shoulders and neck. Over active mind when sleeping, irritable bowel, and occasionally loss of apetite. I dont crave junk food like I use to ....its more healthy food that I long for.And my body gets sluggish if I drink coke.
    I would appreciate some reassurance if anyone feels like it.
    Iam feeling kinda depressed and shaky today, my husband wants me to resign from my crappy job but we only just moved into this big house 6 months ago and have a bigger morgage now.
    I would be happy with some feedback off anyone as my family and friends dont understand what Im going through..
  2. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Hi Aussiegirl~~Your job sounds too physically demanding for your health, and you may want to consider resigning from this particular job and find one less harder on your body. If you cut back on expenses, could your hubby be able to make the mortgage payments on his own income?

    What was the reason you took a month off from work? Because of the CFS? It sounds to me that this type of demanding physical labor will only cause you to relapse again. With CFS being a chronic illness, it is not going to go away and is only made worse by pushing ourselves until we are bankrupt emotionally, psychologically, and physically.

    I noticed by your bio (pretty picture) that you also have three children to take care of. Being a wife, a homemaker, and caring for 3 children is a full time job in itself. When you get home from your first job--then the second shift starts with no weekends off. If you don't feel as though you have the "energy" to return to work today after having a month off--how do you think you are going to feel in two weeks--six months? You and your husband may need to sit down and devise a new economic plan.

    I have to work as I am my sole financial support--but I can only work 3 days a week, and that does me in. I also have all of life's duties, responsibilities, and obligations to handle myself. I was born with life-threatening asthma/allergies; have had FM/CFS for over 35 years; later came osteo/psoriatic/rheumatoid arthritis; two years ago I was diagnosed with advanced degenerative disc disease with multiple back problems, and two weeks ago I was diagnosed with rapidly advancing nerve damage in my back and spine. I have no benefits where I work and no insurance. The Specialist who diagnosed the nerve damage told me the problems in my back were only going to get worse & worse, and there was no doubt in his mind that I needed surgery to stop the nerve damage before it became permanent--which meant I would be out of work for a year.

    I honestly believe that if I had not had to push myself to work--with the added stress of having to cram 5 days work into 3 in order to keep my position part-time--that I wouldn't have put so much strain on my ailing body. However, working was my only way to support myself, and it still is. You have to be unemployed to even file for disability, and I would be financially bankrupt within a month and out on the street.

    However, you do have alternatives. Maybe you can find a part-time job that is not so physically demanding. Or perhaps you could downsize your expenses. Or, as difficult as this may be....get out from under the higher mortagage payments and move into a less expensive home. At least you do have another source of income besides your own. You and your family made it for a month without your working--unless you were paid for that month off. How did you manage when you weren't working?

    I know how awful it is to feel down, energyless, the bills keep coming in, and having to force yourself to get up in the morning when you feel like you've been hit by a mack truck, and make yourself go to work. I do it every week. I've worked all my life with these miserable illnesses, and it has taken a major toll on my health here at the age of 53. Please do not ruin what health you have left like I did...like I have...like I am having to continue to do. Perhaps you could start a business at home?

    The one thing I don't have is children, so when I get off work I can come home and crash--and that is what I do. At least I don't have the "2nd shift" to contend with like you do in having to take care of 3 children all with different needs and attention.

    And, changing meds or herbs is an adjustment to our system. You need to tell your herbalist that you do not feel as well on these herbs as you did the others. Why did she change them? Did she do it to take you to another advanced level of herbal medicines, and it just takes time for your body to adjust to them--or what? I'd find out.

    A vitamin I take for my CFS created a Miracle for me. It's called Enada or NADH which you can buy cheaper on this site. Though different meds/herbs/vitamins and medical regimes work differently for different people--I found that taking 10mgs of Enada first thing every morning on a empty stomach chased by a full bottle of water made an incredible difference in my energy level. It also gave me a positive state of mind; I felt physically lighter; my concentration improved dramatically, and the longer I took the Enada--the more benefits I derived from it. As long as I take it--it is as though I don't even have CFS. If you haven't tried it--it might be worth a month's trial for you.

    I hope you get to feeling better, and that you can find alternative ways to manage financially. Keep searching for options because your health is worth it. Best Wishes, Carol...
  3. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    I have FM, and I have a lot of the symptoms you describe......the very dry mouth, & I know that "electric current" sensation very well!!!

    I also wonder why you changed your line-up of herbs if they were helping!! My feeling is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Having said that though, this FM/CFS does seem to have its waxing and waning periods-----some people experience long flares, some have long remissions. But I would definitely go back on the herbs you were taking, and see if you start feeling better again.

    Keep reading here, lots of us use naturopathic remedies like herbs & supplements with varying degrees of success---but it seems like there's always something new to learn here!

    Welcome & hope you do get some relief soon!

    Hugs,
    Pam
  4. ozgran

    ozgran New Member

    I don't have CFS although I sometimes think I might be one of those who has a touch of both CFS and FM. Can't offer you a lot of help but just wanted to say welcome from another aussie. I am lots older than you, 65 next Sunday, but make the most of this board and those who suffer CFS will give you lots of support. Love Ozgran.
  5. layinglow

    layinglow New Member

    I have not had CFS for a long time either. In the short time I have been afflicted I can tell you these guys are right on the money.

    If you are already feeling so exhausted, it is a given that increasing your workload will probably set you back further.

    One of the most important treatments in these disorders is a revamping of lifestyle. You can try to avoid it, but you will inevitably have the rug pulled out from under your feet.

    I have found in eight months time, I pay the price each time I try to return to my former activity level. It is happening less, as I have made many changes. But sometimes I feel a bit better and push the limits.

    I have the same symptoms you describe, so I understand how you feel. I understand to, the grief of giving up, those activities we used to do. I have four children. They have become the priority. That is all I have the capabilities to take care of now, and that is with a tremendous amount of help from my spouse. Not only would I not be able to manage a job physically, and mentally, but I would be a poor employee, and absent much too often, because the burden would be too great.

    Please know that you have all our support, we too have faced difficult decisions. Most have reorganized their lifes and priorities, so as not to increase symptoms.
    We must be kind to our bodies---they are the only ones we have.
    Best Wishes, LL
  6. Aussiegirl

    Aussiegirl New Member

    I would like to thank you guys so much for your thoughts and views. I rang my boss today and resigned but he wouldnt take my resignation....told me to wait a few weeks and see what happens.
    With that I also got a phone call from an old employer where I use take photographs of newborns in a maternity hospital.
    She offered me 6 hours work a week....it will be a dramatic paycut but its easier work.
    I would like to thank you all again and most of all I would like to thank GOD!
    He responded to my prayers and I am so grateful.
    Thank you all again and God bless you all....I am off to the Chinese herbalist to change my herbs back.......
  7. judywhit

    judywhit New Member

    though we are thousands of miles away from each other my life seems like a mirrow image of what your describing. Kids, job and trying to cope with this lousey dieses (cant spell anymore either!)
    I have a six hour per day job driving school bus. Split shift. 3in the a.m 3 p.m. In the middle of the day I go home to rest. But....I was running myself ragged plus this job requires I get up very early in the a.m / Sleeping is a problem also cannot take meds after 8p.m. Finding that with this schedule I CANNOT get better and am no good for my own family. We have a HUGE housepayment $1400 per month! Well I got a doctors note and asked to be exhused from the a.m shift. So I have taken a 1/2 cut in pay!!!! But, I am doing this so that I can get better. Please do the same for yourself. You just have to! Sorry about the spelling.. my eye see's that I have misspelled words but mind can not figure out how to correct them. FIBRO-FOG?????
    good luck to you and may God bless our commitments to our health and to our families!!!!!
  8. ejay

    ejay New Member

    aussie girl my hubby is a dutchman and has many relatives they are much older that live over there. i think the best thing for you would be a change in scenery you could come to the the great north[OH CANADA,JUST OUTSIDE TORONTO]and we will go to your sweltering kangaro hopping with the odd cold pint for my mate so he can wrestle crocs we will just switch homes afterall they both have the same wrotted disease init.now seriously i think your job will burn you out is there any thing less demanding that you could do to help,do you have any kind off sick pay short or long term what about thru govt just til you see were your at . i am trying the antbiotics everyone warned me that you would feel worse than you ever did for 1st while than see improvement and god are they right about worse.i hope you are not haveing to chase little one all the time right now but that may be a blessing in making you move when you feel theres no chance.god bless pwb and let me know how you are doing.ejay