Warning - vent. I never immagined anyone could be this sick. And when I was younger, I thought doctors could fix everything, and that only old people had health problems. It makes me feel defeated when I have to hang up the phone because I can't talk anymore. I feel sad and lonely when I have to shush my family because I can't stand any sound. I feel like a total wimp when I'm not well enough to watch TV. I feel like a baby when I have to put down a book I'm trying to read because none of it makes sense. I feel useless because I can't keep my own body clean, let alone look after the house. It's demoralizing to be hungry and have to weigh out whether I can make the twenty steps to the kitchen, and have to stay where I am and wait in the hope that I can do it later. It's frustrating to not be able to go to the doctor often enough because of the disease. It's awful knowing that, of all the people I have seen, no one has been able to help me. I feel very insecure and vulnerable.