feel like I'm barely getting through each day

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Shannonsparkles, Jul 28, 2006.

  1. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    Warning - vent.

    I never immagined anyone could be this sick. And when I was younger, I thought doctors could fix everything, and that only old people had health problems.

    It makes me feel defeated when I have to hang up the phone because I can't talk anymore. I feel sad and lonely when I have to shush my family because I can't stand any sound. I feel like a total wimp when I'm not well enough to watch TV. I feel like a baby when I have to put down a book I'm trying to read because none of it makes sense.

    I feel useless because I can't keep my own body clean, let alone look after the house. It's demoralizing to be hungry and have to weigh out whether I can make the twenty steps to the kitchen, and have to stay where I am and wait in the hope that I can do it later. It's frustrating to not be able to go to the doctor often enough because of the disease. It's awful knowing that, of all the people I have seen, no one has been able to help me. I feel very insecure and vulnerable.

  2. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I am sorry you are having to learn to live with these dds that life has given you at such a young age. We have to wonder what God has in store for us. But he is testing us and teaching us for the what lies ahead.

    It will get better, you have had good days. The next time you have one, write it down so you can go back and read it when the bad ones rear their ugly heads.

    I know how you feel, I have been there. I would just crawl in bed and cover my head up with my special pillow and just pray it would all go away or for god to take me right there and then.

    We are allowed to have our pity parties, I had one the day before yesterday. But then you have to, no matter how hard it is, or how much it hurts make ourselves get up and put one foot in front of the other. Even if it is only a few baby steps.

    What matters is that we try, then before you know it you walk out the door and on the porch, then next week in the yard. Just try, you may be amazed at what you can do.

    I hope you get thru this period soon and know you are never alone, there are many survivors here to tell you it will get better- you just have to beleive it and believe in yourself- Carla
  3. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Hang in there my friend. You just need a rest ,take it willingly don't fight it.Be good to your self .Take sometime to do something special for yourself and don't sweat things.

    We all go threw these things but they will pass with rest and time. Now when I feel all these things getting worse I tell myself its time to step back and look at my life .put a basket full of goodies at the end of your couch or bed special things you don't always give yourself.

    Lesson to music if you cant read.If the words bother you (they do me sometimes) then make it just music no vocals.

    Save somethings that are special for you to use only during these hard times. Spoil yourself.but rest rest rest without guilty feelings for it.

    I find if I get upset with Life or my Dr's or anything I step back and think "What is really important " Sometimes its just to take time for myself .I still have pain 24-7 but its all in how I talk to myself .I try positive thinking. If anything is frustrating you remove it from your life or at least your thoughts

    I'll be thinking of you. And if I need someone to remind me of these things when I get down, Please feel free to have this talk with me. I'm sure these DD's will return all those things to me sooner or later.I'm just learning to reach a place of relaxing faster each time they hit me. And it helps.

  4. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time.

    I feel the same way, but you are way too young to be going through this

    Just hang on to hope that someday, someone may be able to at least alleviate some of your symptoms.

    Keep reading and researching and talking to people, and maybe some day you will get a break.

    Hang in there. I go through bouts like this and then get a week or so reprieve.

    Hoping for better days for you kid!!!
  5. jenemc

    jenemc New Member

    i thought maybe you were writing about me! thats the way i am feeling. maybe its just the weather we are having ...who knows. all i know is i have no energy for anything, i don't want to do anything,

    i am going to make a drs appt next week and see if maybe its my depression and maybe upping my meds.

    just remember, you are not in this alone, i plus many others are here with you.

    jennie
  6. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    You just went through a lot. I have had times when I felt as you do now. I know you are probably a little down now too. This weather is no help.

    Look you keep us all alert, bless you, I have been feeloing better since I really upped the calcium and vit D and started the small fish oils. It has made a lot of difference. I hope you can find something too.

    Hugs and Love to the story queen

    Anne Cromwell
  7. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    I started salt/c for lyme disease a while back, so I'm comming out of my first round or herxing. I got very depressed, slept terribly, and had that crawly lyme pain. When I was feeling suicidal for a couple of days, I knew that was "the line" as far as knowing when to stop treatment. I was supposed to do it for 7-14 days. I lasted for 8 days. A herx means I'm getting somewhere, I guess. Today was the first day I didn't think about dying since I stopped on Thursday. I was hoping I'd feel better, but I'd settle for feeling like usual again. I expect I'll be doing salt/c off and on for a long time. I don't think it will always be like this. My ND may have something to make it easier.

    You are all very kind to me. I'm still trying things to get some improvement in my health. I've got a new ND who is more qualified than the ones I have had before. I still have the CFS specialist, though I'm not sure what to do with her yet. Dad's always scouting to find new things for me.

    You know, I honestly have a hard time picturing myself healthy. Anyone else have that? I don't have the memory of being healthy. Even back in school when I could get around, I felt awful every day and couldn't keep up with the pace of things. It's not something I like to look back on. So I've been trying to fix the better days in my memory. When I have a good moment, I say to myself, "This is what healthy feels like. It means having good cooked food and lots of it. It's being able to sit up a bit. It's being able to follow the story. It's getting to socialise..."

    Thanks for the boost, guys.
    ((xxx)) Shannon
  8. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    your multiple problems. It's a dirty, rotten shame and terrible unfair.

    I can only hope something comes along to help.

    Just last week I read about some drug testing. Was it to help CFS or cancer? Good grief! Can't remember nothin' these days. Well, all we can do is keep trying and hope there is a breakthru someday.
  9. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I hope your weekend is doing better.Your in our thoughts
  10. blessedmom2four

    blessedmom2four New Member

    i have felt the same way, i have been doing alittle better nowadays but just having the dx is helping me feel alittle better and not so angry, hope you feel better soon