feel like i'm not myself

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by babyk902, Aug 31, 2009.

  1. babyk902

    babyk902 New Member

    although i've been doing so so good lately, i still have some anxiety issues and i just feel like i can't loosen up and be myself, i'm just constantly anxious for NO reason, and just either in a bad mood or always worrying or something, just feel like my nerves are going crazy.. idk what it is but i feel like i can't control it and it's driving me insane.

    not to mention i feel like it's really hard bc i've done a complete 180 when it comes to my life and the person i used to be.. i used to be super outgoing, always laughing, always partying, just enjoying life.. i do still enjoy life i'm really lucky to have a boyfriend who i adore more than anything and who understands what im goin through, but i don't socialize as often bc of my fatigue and esp lately i just don't feel like dealing with anyone bc of my anxiety and my moods. i just don't feel like im the same person, and i don't know how to describe it but it makes me sad.. i feel like i've lost a part of who i am and i don't remember who that person even was anymore.. sorry this sounds SO depressing! but something that's just been bothering me lately.. can anyone relate?? any suggestions?
  2. JewelRA

    JewelRA New Member


    I often feel like just a shell of my former self due to this DD. The constant anxiety, depression, pain, fatigue...It just changes you, there is no doubt about it.

    I know what you mean about not wanting to go out or do anything. It just takes so much energy, and even though I enjoy seeing some people, "socializing" REALLY takes it out of me these days.

    Thank goodness for your understanding boyfriend. :) I have a wonderful husband and 2 kids who adore me and I them, even though I can't imagine why they would want to be around me most of the time.

    I don't know if I have any great advice. Just take care of yourself, enjoy your positive relationship with your boyfriend, and try not to compare yourself with the "old" you. Your life is different now, and you have to discover a "new normal". I'm still doing that myself.
  3. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    How I can understand how you feel as I feel the same way. Sorry, I don't have any answers but sure can relate. Do you ever feel numb on the inside, I know I love my children, hubby etc but just can't feel it. Guess that is depression , not sure. It is a miserable feeling.

    Sorry, you are feeling this way sure wish I had an answer.

    Do you take any meds for anxiety? I take xanax which does take the edge off.

    If it doesn't let up maybe your doctor could help..

    Good Luck and God Bless,
  4. DemonFairy

    DemonFairy New Member

    None of us here, as far as I know, feel anything like our old selves. And, yeah, that IS depressing. I've only been sick for three years, but in a lot of pain for almost a year before that with my herniated disk. After my surgery, I ended up with the all over body pain that I can't seem to get rid of, the fatigue that makes life really difficult to live, anxiety about all of it, especially since it's ruined my finances and I can no longer work.

    I hope you have a good doctor who can help you with your anxiety and moods. If not, it would be good if you could find one. Maybe you just need to start an anti-depressant. Getting sick is enough to affect anyone's moods and make them anxious, so you're going through a completely normal phase. You might even just need to take something for your anxiety, without needing the anti-depressant, but that's up to you and your doctor. It sometimes takes trying out a few things to get the right effect for each person.

    Don't worry about sounding depressing. Lots of us are in the same boat....with some of us in leaky boats that are taking on water, while we use thimbles to try to dump the water out. I think that because you've been doing well physically lately is a good start, and now you just need to work on the mental parts. Have you tried any biofeedback cds or hypnosis recordings? My partner and I both felt better after listening to Glenn Harrold's hypnosis recordings on our mp3 players w/ earbuds in and eye masks on. His voice is very soothing and calming and might help you without you needing any meds. But, there's no shame in needing meds either. Give it all a shot and see what works best.

    I hate being the sick & exhausted person I've become. I can't believe that four years ago, I was almost a normal person, who could go to bed at night, and wake up in the morning refreshed and ready to go. Okay, I've always hated mornings, but if I could wake up in the late morning, I could be refreshed and ready to shower and start my day. Now, I'm lucky to get a shower in once or twice a week, because showering wipes me out. Four years ago, I would've thought that was the grossest thing in the world, because I'd never even missed a single day of showering, except when I had the flu or something. But now, life is completely different. However, you have a head start because it doesn't sound like you're in any physical pain, so you just need to work on your anxiety and fatigue issues.

    There are all kinds of things for you to try. Try a few of them and then come back and let us know if any of them worked for you. I'd try Glenn Harrold's recordings first - they're cheaper, they don't require any meds, and if the recordings can help you, it's a great start. You might need more than that, but just take it one step at a time.