FEEL LIKE SUCH A LOSER!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by karbear, Aug 18, 2003.

  1. karbear

    karbear New Member

    OK,THIS IS SO PATHETIC..I CAN'T STAND IT !!! I AM SO TIRED ALL THE TIME ITS AWFUL,,WELL TODAY MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER WANTED ME TO BRING CUPCAKES TO SCHOOL FOR HER BIRTHDAY,WHICH WAS YESTERDAY, SO I SEND A NOTE TO THE TEACHER AND ASK HER TO CALL TO LET ME KNOW WHAT TIME. I TOOK ALL THE KIDS TO SCHOOL,FELL ASLEEP AND DIDNT' HEAR NO PHONE!!!!! WHEN I AWOKE AT 11:30 ,THE TEACHER HAD CALLED AND LEFT A MESSAGE SAYING BRING THE CUPCAKES AT 11 FOR LUNCH TIME!!!so lazy me missed it!!! SO TOMMORROW WE ARE GONNA TRY AGAIN!!! THE FATIQUE IS SO BAD,,I CAN'T STAND IT,I STAY UP LATE AT NITE CAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP THEN I DRAG THE NEXT DAY AND IF I DO GO TO BED AT A NORMAL TIME I STILL AM TIRED!!!!!!AND MID-AFTERNOON,FORGET IT, I NEED TO LAY DOWN OR I'M GONNA PASS OUT...AND ITS THE TIME THE KIDS NEED HOMEWORK DONE,ITS SO FRUSTRATING!! I FEEL SOMEDAYS AS THOUGH I'M BEING A LOSER MOM, BUT EVERYONE IS VERY UNDERSTANDING,WE EXPLAINED TO THE KIDS AND THEY DO HELP OUT BUT SOMETIMES ITS HARD. MAKING DINNER IS A MAJOR CHORE FOR ME...I'M DRAINED BY THIS TIME...THEN ITS OFF TO EVERY EVENT AROUND FOR THE KIDS...I AM DEFINATELY "MOM'S TAXI" BUT I DRAG MYSELF MANY TIMES CAUSE I KNOW I HAVE TO..I THINK SOMEDAY THAT IF I DIND'T HAVE THE KIDS I WOULD SLEEP ALL DAY EVERYDAY..SO THEY DO HELP ME KEEP MOTIVATED..I HAVE MISSED DOCTOR APPTS. CAUSE OF FALLING ASLEEP..I NEVER MAKE MORNING APPT. ANYMORE CAUSE IT TOO HARD..TONITE MY LITTLE ONE WANTED ME TO CHASE HER,,I DID AND MY ANKLE WAS KILING ME, JUST CHASING HER!! ITS SO HARD SOMEDAYS TO DEAL WITH THIS...BUT I KEEP READING ON HERE AND KNOW I'M NORMAL..JUST HAVE TO VENT SOMETIMES TO FOLKS THAT KNOW WHERE I'M COMING FROM..I DONT' LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ALL THE ACHES AND PAINS TO THE FAMILY CAUSE I DON'T THINK THEY UNDERSTAND, WELL SORRY TO COMPLAIN ,,I KNOW LIFE CAN BE MUCH WORSE, I'VE BEEN THERE ..SO I DO APPRECIATE LIFE EVERYDAY AND THANK GOD I'M STILL HERE..JUST HAVE TO VENT SOMETIMES,THAXS FOR LISTENING!!!! GOD BLESS, KARBEAR
  2. Susan07

    Susan07 New Member

    Go and and vent but please don't call yourself a loser. You have an illness and are trying your best. Take care, I hope you are able to get the cupcakes there tomorrow.
  3. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Karbear,
    The way you feel is exactly normal for the condition you have. You are not a looser, in fact, you are brave and showing exceptional strength. I have some ideas for you.
    If it is possible, get someione in to clean house and do the dishes. Try one-pan meals and cooperative meals, where each person makes his/her own sandwich,etc.... Give each child a meal chore, like one puts out the plates, one the slverware, etc....Remind them how grown-up they are being and how fine it is to take responsibility for their family.If they lived on a farm they would have many chores, and would consider it just the way things are.
    About the driving tired, that is dangerous, especially with little precious beings in the car. Do you have a compassionate friend that could do the taxiing around for you? Are your children old enough to hook up with a friend and go with them? I think you definitely want to take care of this area, before you have an accident. I am speaking from experience. When one is tired it is easy to miss signs and lights,not to mention bicyclists and pedestrians.
    I was a teacher for over 40 years, and the one thing I noticed constantly was that frequently people tend to underestimate chldren. They can be brought to great generosity and compassion, and can do a lot of things quite easily. It is their privilege to be living this lifetme in a home where they have a chance to show generosity to the one who loves them above all, you. Do you have someone, like your mom or a friend who could explain this to them? That way, their helping out can take the form of a secret gift they are giving you, and they will feel tht they have a truly wonderful secret. I do not know how old your children are, but cildren as oung as 3 can help out a littl, and feel good about doing it. Good luck, Adele.
  4. jadibeler

    jadibeler New Member

    at least your family (adult members)understand and support you - however, I think you could use a little more help.

    It's so good to read my life in another person's words, other people actually did and do feel like I did when I was young and raising children. My son's preschool threatened to expel him because I couldn't manage to get there on time to pick him up. I would set an alarm for the very last minute, jump up, dash to the school, pick up several kids and then try to talk to mothers as I dropped them off. I finally heard that none of the mothers wanted me to drive their kids anymore because they thought I was "on drugs" - fibro-fog, but I didn't know that myself for many years.

    I would get up with my husband, who expected breakfast of course, get the kids up and dressed for school, sit them at the table with a bowl of cereal, set the timer and go back to bed. They knew when the timer went off to leave for school (and God help them if I came out and found that they hadn't - I didn't have a lot of patience in those days).

    When I was able to get up I could only manage one job, vacuum, scrub kitchen floor, laundry (downstairs) killed me. We ironed back then, too. Nothing ever got completely done, I was always swamped, the house was always a pigsty. Back to bed and then the neighbor would come, walk right in and demand that I get up and visit with her - "There's nothing wrong with you! Get your lazy ass up."

    That was pretty much my husband's attitude as well. Every night was screaming about what I didn't get done. And dinner had better be ready. His family held the opinion that I was the laziest thing and the worst mother going - his mom actually told my mom so!

    Oddly enough, most people accepted that my mother was ill. Well, she had migraines, severe week long ones. No one questioned that she had to take a nap every day, that she was't strong, that she couldn't do much. She understood that I didn't feel well, but she herself thought I had a bit of a malingering streak (and a "mind like a sieve"). Many years later we found out that we both had fibromyalgia.

    But you are sticking with it, that doesn't make you a loser. I couldn't. If I'd had an understanding, helpful husband, an otherwise happy home and the help of the medical community - even an idea what could be wrong with me - it could have been different. But my only recourse, to save my sanity, and what felt like my life, I had to leave. I couldn't handle a house, kids, a normal life, at all.

    So don't ever consider yourself a loser. You're doing it, as best you can.

    JoAnn
  5. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    You poor dear, give yourself a hug, you are so loved it sounds like and your family is understanding, thank God for what you have, don't dwell on what you don't.

    Listen to JoAnn, she has been there and we are all coping with this dd as best we can.

    Jo Ann, you almost got me to crying, what an incredibly sad tale.

    We are all so strong to get thru this.

    Jaci