Feeling down...tired of pain

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Sheila1366, Jan 27, 2006.

  1. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    It doesn't help that I suffer from severe depression and bipolar.Just when I think I have gotten that under control it comes back.Mainly the depression.This pain is getting me really down.Now I am being checked again for lupus and ra.My reheumy says the pain and swelling I am having is not fm.My aunt was just dx. with lupus and ra last week.I called to talk with her.She lives a few hours away and I don't keep intouch like I should.While talking to her I learned alot about our family history especially how many of my relatives suffered from ra and have had knee replacement surgery.And being a Lumbee Indian puts me more at risk for lupus.The other night I hurt so bad that I said to my husband something that shocked me.I told him I now know why people think of ending their lives due to pain.I just wish for a couple of days that I could just sleep so hard that I would not feel any pain.I need the rest and a break from pain.I think I have shared before that I would rather hurt than be depressed.Well now I have them both and it is getting more and more difficult.I saw my pscyh. this week and she increased one of my meds.She is seriously looking into focusing on treating people with FM.She is always asking if my dr. is treating my pain properly.She is a very concerned and caring dr.She is not one that thinks FM is a mental illness she just thinks due to the chronic pain and lack of sleep that someone needs to focus on helping these people get proper treatment and decent sleep.I am glad she is on my side.Just as I know many of you are.Thanks for always being here for me.Tomorrow is a new day,it can only get better.
    Take care{{{{HUGS}}}}
    Sheila
  2. ksc

    ksc New Member

    I know how you feel. I was diaganosed with lupus 20 yrs ago. Was bed ridden with pain for 6monthes befor the meds started to help. I remember going grocery shopping and all of a sudden I felt like I had ran into a brick wall and someone and pulled my plug (of energy). I would have to just walk out of the store and hope I drove home okay. My daughter was 3 yrs old then. My family is the only thing that has kept me going. I've thought about pain and death a few times myself. Especially after the fibro hit. The pain was never ending and I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel.I woke up feeling like I had been beaten with a baseball bat and went to bed feeling like that. We have all been there or are there. My family helps to keep me going and my rhumy has helped alot with meds.
    Tomorrow can be better-
    here's to hoping ours is!
    Kathy